Monday
Dear friend,
Some friends of mine are outside discussing the events of their day. Instead of participating, I close the door behind me and take a seat at my desk. For this moment, they accuse me of being anti-social and "snotty".
I do not respond.
Sometimes when I miss you, I wrap myself in your sweater and write letters to you. I know you'll never read them, but I choose to fill the pages anyway. My everyday is usually okay. I walk with pride, knowing that I've learned so much from you. However, once in a while I am consumed by an overwhelming pain that I cannot put to words.
Tonight, as I listen to the laughter leak in from outdoors, I realize that it's time to create a balance between helping others and helping myself. I cannot change the world and I cannot make a person's pain disappear automatically. So why do I expect the latter to hold true for myself? It's okay to be down and it's okay if I can't bounce back to happiness within minutes. I say that, but I never carry that out.
There is a knock at the door. I grip onto your sweater and ignore person on the other side.
I know my friends don't understand why I wish to be alone like this.
But then again, they've never lost their best friend.
Some friends of mine are outside discussing the events of their day. Instead of participating, I close the door behind me and take a seat at my desk. For this moment, they accuse me of being anti-social and "snotty".
I do not respond.
Sometimes when I miss you, I wrap myself in your sweater and write letters to you. I know you'll never read them, but I choose to fill the pages anyway. My everyday is usually okay. I walk with pride, knowing that I've learned so much from you. However, once in a while I am consumed by an overwhelming pain that I cannot put to words.
Tonight, as I listen to the laughter leak in from outdoors, I realize that it's time to create a balance between helping others and helping myself. I cannot change the world and I cannot make a person's pain disappear automatically. So why do I expect the latter to hold true for myself? It's okay to be down and it's okay if I can't bounce back to happiness within minutes. I say that, but I never carry that out.
There is a knock at the door. I grip onto your sweater and ignore person on the other side.
I know my friends don't understand why I wish to be alone like this.
But then again, they've never lost their best friend.