(no subject)
it's funny, everyone goes out to party or go to Ann Arbor , or hang out n have a good time, whatever... how come i never want to go? i do want to go but whenever i do all i do is get kinda antsy and i think about all the shit i could be getting done right now if i wasn't hanging out n havin a good time, which in return makes it a shitty time. I always think i have so much to do and so much to get done, but in reality i don't.. and what needs to get done i can do in less then an hour, even if it seems like there is a mountain of stuff to do.. so now it's 11pm on Thursday night, i'm slightly bored and not quite tired yet, but i told myself I'd go to bed early so i'd be a productive human being tommorow and not sleep till one and skip my early class. But, I'm not quite ready for bed and i still feel so unfinished.. i have to do my laundry and get my BDUs all set up and sew on my name tapes and all that stupid shit, but it's too late to go to the dry cleaners and the laundry area is already closed.. theres so much little shit i have to remember to do for ROTC and i hate it, because i don't really care about any of it and i never know whats going on, half the time I'm not even there and i never see the point of anything we do.. i already know after a year i'm going to drop it so learning any of this isn't even going to matter and i still have to go to these dumb FTX weekend "camp" type things that go from friday afternoon till Sunday night.. uggghhhhh.. and i am not looking forward to any of them. I feel so insanely overwhelmed... but i don't know what i am getting so overwhelmed about.. i don't have that much shit to do! i feel like i'm forgetting stuff... also money is an issue now, i REAAAALLLLLLLLLLYYYY want to run the red october 10K on Saturday.. i love racing and it's just been to long, but entry is 19 bucks.. so i figured maybe i'll ask my dad for 19 bucks. So i call him up and i just couldn't ask, i hate asking him for anything because he always says no and makes me feel like a jerk about it, he has so much money too... my mom doesn't have shit and she offers me money all the time, but i can't take anything from her, she works to hard and does to much and she has given me so much, ya know? I'm probably just going to not do it... i've got 35 bucks in my wallet, so technically i cannnnnn... but i want to save money for christmas presents for people, plus weekends i see movies with Andrew n stuff.. blahhhh ... i'm gonna start working Saturday mornings at Vinnie's.. that'll rake in about 40 bucks a week... which is a start.. ROTC is paying me $350 a month which is fuckin sweet.. i havn't gotten any of that money yet, so when i do it'll be like $700-1050... which is quite a bit of moolah, but if i plan on dropping ROTC then i have to pay for the next 3 years of college on my own, so i need to save everything i can... so much shit to think about.. so much money invloved!thats enough thinking for tonight..I think I'm going to go to bed now..