(no subject)

[tiffany21]

this evening i am very sad and homesick and with very little reason. i am not incredibly stressed right now, though looking at my schedule for this week and the upcoming 4 weeks kind of makes me want to vom. i think maybe a big part of it is that my grandfather was very recently diagnosed with stomach cancer and is having his entire stomach removed tomorrow. they say everything will hopefully be completely fine after that and that he is in good condition for the surgery.. but i know my grandfather, and he is old, and he has aged very noticeably in the past and recent years. i am more worried for my grandmother and my dad almost, though. if something happened right now, i am not sure what i would do, so i am trying to remain as optimistic as i am being told this situation is.. but it is difficult. more and more i just feel like this place will never feel like home to me, and yet i called it that a few times while i was home. life in general is just kind of confusing right now. i mean, i don't really pray directly or anything anymore because i don't really know how i feel about that, but maybe if you know me well enough (or if you don't and you're just that nice) keep my grandfather and my family in your positive thoughts.. they say that kind of thing really helps, and i think i believe that.

for an update, my fish seems to be doing well. i am currently attempting to get him a bigger aquarium with some kind of filter.. but we'll see. i'm trying to find something on craigslist for cheap because i don't have that much money. i think i've named him Cal (short for Calico).. heh. thanks for the responses earlier; they were very amusing, but i just didn't think any of them fit. (: i hope he stays healthy; i could really use the company right now.