see them through kaleidoscope eyes because everybody feigns sometimes
Last night I went out with Nick and Phil. We went to Bed Bath & Beyond to look at dorm stuff for me and sat in comfy chairs, went to the Coffee Den so they could get drinks and I talked to Laur and Derek, went to Eckerd to get Dave's cards, went to Walmart so I could buy thank you notes, went to Coldstone to visit Linz, went to Wendy's to get Frosties and fries, brought Linz back a JBC and a baked potato, I talked to Heather and Adam because they ambushed me, and then we sat in the parking lot just talking. All the while we listened to TREOS because it's the only music I can stand. But on the way to Nick's house I let him put in a rap cd to show me how fast he can rap. Then I just didn't listen to anything.
Best quote:
after I teased Phil about how he needs to shape up for college if he wants to get a girl
Nick: "What are you talking about? Phil's going to have a different girl on his dick every night!"
Me: *laughs*
Phil: Unless it comes in a box and inflates, the answer is 'no.'
I woke up this morning and found myself wishing that I was going to college somewhere like Bethany because it's a Christian school but then I remembered that it's in WV and it's an hour away which is just way too far for me. It was a nice thought though. W&J is supposedly going to be an ivy league school in a few years anyway. I'm really scared for college because it's so far out of my comfort zone and I'm afraid that I won't fit in. I don't like the idea of living with strangers either. I don't even know what I want to do with my life anymore. I could very well just become a waste who never does anything and never finds happiness. But then there would be no reason to live, so I would never let that happen to me. I'm always fighting to keep my head above water even when nobody else is, and I still have enough strength to hold another up with me if they are drowning too. As long as I can help someone else while helping myself, I'm never a waste, and that is the main thing that keeps me going.
I wish my body wouldn't wake me up so early. I have too much time to think then. At least I know the difference between what is real and what my mind wants me to believe. I am not weak.
Best quote:
after I teased Phil about how he needs to shape up for college if he wants to get a girl
Nick: "What are you talking about? Phil's going to have a different girl on his dick every night!"
Me: *laughs*
Phil: Unless it comes in a box and inflates, the answer is 'no.'
I woke up this morning and found myself wishing that I was going to college somewhere like Bethany because it's a Christian school but then I remembered that it's in WV and it's an hour away which is just way too far for me. It was a nice thought though. W&J is supposedly going to be an ivy league school in a few years anyway. I'm really scared for college because it's so far out of my comfort zone and I'm afraid that I won't fit in. I don't like the idea of living with strangers either. I don't even know what I want to do with my life anymore. I could very well just become a waste who never does anything and never finds happiness. But then there would be no reason to live, so I would never let that happen to me. I'm always fighting to keep my head above water even when nobody else is, and I still have enough strength to hold another up with me if they are drowning too. As long as I can help someone else while helping myself, I'm never a waste, and that is the main thing that keeps me going.
I wish my body wouldn't wake me up so early. I have too much time to think then. At least I know the difference between what is real and what my mind wants me to believe. I am not weak.