Sweeney Todd: Johnny Depp is hot no matter what, damnit!
I love Johnny Depp. Oh, you don’t? That’s okay, I’m sure there’s something totally wrong with you. I’d like to point out to everyone that “Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street” is a musical. I’m not completely convinced you could tell that from the commercials, and I apologize to the one member of our viewing party who went and was not aware it is indeed, a musical. But what a musical it is! Johnny Depp! Singing and dancing! Johnny Depp killing people? And what in the world is Helena Bonham Carter doing with those people… oh my god, it’s people! Wait, is that Snape? And Wormtail? And Borat?!?! But hey, there’s Johnny Depp again- and he’s singing! And he doesn’t sound half bad!
Johnny Depp is Sweeney Todd who is really Benjamin Barker. Too bad Mr. Barker’s wife was just too hot for her own good and got all lusted after by old Judge Turpin. So Benjamin Barker gets exiled and loses his wife and daughter. Boo hoo, it’s England, you’re Johnny Depp, you can have whoever you want, believe me. Uh, in any case, Anthony pines after Johanna who is the ward of Judge Turpin who wants Johanna if he’s not going to have her mother (Mrs. Barker? Does she really have a name?), which is really just creepy but I guess that’s the point. So, Sna… ah, Turpin warns Anthony not to mess with him, or he’ll set ol’ Wormtail, I mean, Beadle Bamford on his ass. Anthony convinces Sweeney Todd to help him save Johanna without realizing Sweeney Todd would become his father-in-law and I get the feeling if he knew he might not have asked in the first place. Oh yeah, and there’s Mrs. Lovett who has the worst meat pies in London because meat is just oh-so-expensive. And she’s in love with Sweeney Todd. And Toby will protect Mrs. Lovett from that mean old mister Todd. And of course there’s a crazy old lady in the musical for a reason. Basically I spend the majority of the film wondering when Sweeney Todd is going to finally have his revenge. That and appreciating not going to a barber. Ever!!! But there’s singing and dancing and it’s fabulous.
Just so everyone knows, there’s really a reason it’s rated R, but still- fabulous! I really can’t see anyone but Tim Burton doing this movie right and he really did it right. Go see it if it’s still in the theatres (I was pretty pissed at the couple next to me who were making out- during Sweeney Todd, c’mon what’s wrong with you!), otherwise make a note to rent it when it comes out on DVD.
Johnny Depp is Sweeney Todd who is really Benjamin Barker. Too bad Mr. Barker’s wife was just too hot for her own good and got all lusted after by old Judge Turpin. So Benjamin Barker gets exiled and loses his wife and daughter. Boo hoo, it’s England, you’re Johnny Depp, you can have whoever you want, believe me. Uh, in any case, Anthony pines after Johanna who is the ward of Judge Turpin who wants Johanna if he’s not going to have her mother (Mrs. Barker? Does she really have a name?), which is really just creepy but I guess that’s the point. So, Sna… ah, Turpin warns Anthony not to mess with him, or he’ll set ol’ Wormtail, I mean, Beadle Bamford on his ass. Anthony convinces Sweeney Todd to help him save Johanna without realizing Sweeney Todd would become his father-in-law and I get the feeling if he knew he might not have asked in the first place. Oh yeah, and there’s Mrs. Lovett who has the worst meat pies in London because meat is just oh-so-expensive. And she’s in love with Sweeney Todd. And Toby will protect Mrs. Lovett from that mean old mister Todd. And of course there’s a crazy old lady in the musical for a reason. Basically I spend the majority of the film wondering when Sweeney Todd is going to finally have his revenge. That and appreciating not going to a barber. Ever!!! But there’s singing and dancing and it’s fabulous.
Just so everyone knows, there’s really a reason it’s rated R, but still- fabulous! I really can’t see anyone but Tim Burton doing this movie right and he really did it right. Go see it if it’s still in the theatres (I was pretty pissed at the couple next to me who were making out- during Sweeney Todd, c’mon what’s wrong with you!), otherwise make a note to rent it when it comes out on DVD.