fic: Tentacles and Polynomials
TITLE: Tentacles and Polynomials
SUMMARY: John always thought that only people like Rodney dreamed in polynomial equations
CATEGORY: gen, humour, action-adventure, vignette
RATING: PG-13
CHARACTERS: John, Teyla
NOTES: I don't know how I got to pentapus' LJ, but I did. And she was asking for ficlets in her Doodle Drabble 2.0 - so I wrote one. Short and tentacular. Because, hey, tentacles! And I think I might need sleep since I'm now seeing the word "tentacles" as "testicles".
Tentacles and Polynomials
And John had always thought that only people like Rodney dreamed in polynomial equations.
It was definitely a dream, because Teyla didn't have that many arms or heads, although the multi-armed Indian goddess? So worked for Teyla. But the glowing, drifting symbols across his vision and the way they grew small and large, tiny and gargantuan, were a bit of a giveaway that John Was Not Lucid.
At least, not in any way that counted.
He was pretty sure he was lying down, because there was a sandy flat thing beneath his shoulders and buttocks that was most likely the ground of the cave. And the walls overhead arched and danced with the cheerful green-white glow of the characters that had started flickering with light when John walked into this section of the cave, just a couple of seconds before the first tentacle hit him.
"Colonel?"
Her voice floated over the irregular chatter of her weapon, over the squishy noises of what was probably tentacular rage.
"Can you hear me?"
John could hear her. He could even see her. Two of her. Or was it three?
"Ronon and Rodney are on the other side, they are working on a solution."
Again, the weapon chattered.
A solution for the polynomial mess that floated around John's head? That sounded good. Maybe the dancing numbers would leave him alone and Teyla would go back to having two arms and one head.
"You've set it to what? Sheppard, Teyla, get awa--!"
There was a noise like a blop! Actually, it was bigger than a blop!
It was more of a BLOP-SQUISH-SQUISH-BUBBLE-OOZE-SPLAT.
Then Teyla was there, flinging herself down beside him - actually, partly on him - and a chunk of pinkish-grey tentacle skidded past them and she was not a very large woman but John felt protected all the same, even if the protection was about not getting hit in the face by flying tentacle.
Not getting hit in the face by flying tentacle sounded fine to John.
Things splatted in the nearby dust. There were some nasty bubbling sounds.
Then silence.
Gradually, the frantic pace of his heartbeat filled his senses. Next was Teyla's relieved sigh drifting across his fringe and the way her thighs relaxed over his hips. That was followed by the floating polynomial equations resolving into still glowing Ancient text on the walls of the cave. And the smell of burned squid reached John's nostrils.
Eww.
fin
SUMMARY: John always thought that only people like Rodney dreamed in polynomial equations
CATEGORY: gen, humour, action-adventure, vignette
RATING: PG-13
CHARACTERS: John, Teyla
NOTES: I don't know how I got to pentapus' LJ, but I did. And she was asking for ficlets in her Doodle Drabble 2.0 - so I wrote one. Short and tentacular. Because, hey, tentacles! And I think I might need sleep since I'm now seeing the word "tentacles" as "testicles".
Tentacles and Polynomials
And John had always thought that only people like Rodney dreamed in polynomial equations.
It was definitely a dream, because Teyla didn't have that many arms or heads, although the multi-armed Indian goddess? So worked for Teyla. But the glowing, drifting symbols across his vision and the way they grew small and large, tiny and gargantuan, were a bit of a giveaway that John Was Not Lucid.
At least, not in any way that counted.
He was pretty sure he was lying down, because there was a sandy flat thing beneath his shoulders and buttocks that was most likely the ground of the cave. And the walls overhead arched and danced with the cheerful green-white glow of the characters that had started flickering with light when John walked into this section of the cave, just a couple of seconds before the first tentacle hit him.
"Colonel?"
Her voice floated over the irregular chatter of her weapon, over the squishy noises of what was probably tentacular rage.
"Can you hear me?"
John could hear her. He could even see her. Two of her. Or was it three?
"Ronon and Rodney are on the other side, they are working on a solution."
Again, the weapon chattered.
A solution for the polynomial mess that floated around John's head? That sounded good. Maybe the dancing numbers would leave him alone and Teyla would go back to having two arms and one head.
"You've set it to what? Sheppard, Teyla, get awa--!"
There was a noise like a blop! Actually, it was bigger than a blop!
It was more of a BLOP-SQUISH-SQUISH-BUBBLE-OOZE-SPLAT.
Then Teyla was there, flinging herself down beside him - actually, partly on him - and a chunk of pinkish-grey tentacle skidded past them and she was not a very large woman but John felt protected all the same, even if the protection was about not getting hit in the face by flying tentacle.
Not getting hit in the face by flying tentacle sounded fine to John.
Things splatted in the nearby dust. There were some nasty bubbling sounds.
Then silence.
Gradually, the frantic pace of his heartbeat filled his senses. Next was Teyla's relieved sigh drifting across his fringe and the way her thighs relaxed over his hips. That was followed by the floating polynomial equations resolving into still glowing Ancient text on the walls of the cave. And the smell of burned squid reached John's nostrils.
Eww.
fin