January BlogMeme: the female eromenos
10th Jan - your favorite fandom men to write and why?
Currently or previously? :)
Disclaimer: My understanding of the erastes/eromenos concept is probably not to spec for anyone with a background in classical Greek. I apologise for anything that twings your "holy cow has she got it wrong" radar up front - my sources are my own filtered understanding from various conversations, and Wikipedia.
My Favourite Fandom Men
The thing is that my favourite guys tend to shift with the fandom/female character - I don't have any guys that have outlasted my favourite female characters. Even Batman is of marginal interest without the context of the Justice League (and his interactions with Wonder Woman).
At first glance, the men I like to write are pretty varied.
Jack O'Neill had a delightful snarkiness, a refusal to take bullshit, and a strong team leader ethic. Teal'c could do wonderful deadpan. John Sheppard is wonderfully awkward, especially when the f-word is involved (feelings), while Ronon Dex observes everything, would rather do than sit and consider, and privately thinks that the Earthlings are crazy - they have it so good, and they have no idea.
Bruce Wayne has the duality of the Batman and the playboy - far more interesting to me than Superman's shiny-shoed goodness. Tony DiNozzo is frustrating and charming by turns - a boy-man with a serious side and a vulnerability that only really comes out with the women he's loved and admired.
In BBC Merlin, I liked the layers of complexity in Merlin's relationships based on who knew about his magic and who didn't, and Arthur as a simpler soul wrestling with the questions of how to be good and to whom his responsibilities as Prince lay. But I rarely wrote the two of them together without also writing Gwen and Morgana. When I was writing either of them, their interactions were more with Gwen and the stories about their relationship with Gwen.
More recently (the last two years) I've really enjoyed writing Steve Rogers, time-displaced hero. It's enjoyable to write someone who doesn't have to conform to modern standards - but who isn't necessarily socially regressed. And all that lovely, sweet courtesy is fun to tweak - both in the text and by the people he encounters.
I really need to catch up with Sleepy Hollow, because it looks like Ichabod Crane is much the same - with a slightly bigger timejump, of course.
And then most recently there's been Raleigh Becket. Who's really quite a sweetheart of a guy.*grins*
I suspect the thing that draws me most to these characters is that, while they all have fairly angsty backstories, they also have the in-canon strength and capability to grow beyond their manpain. And, in Raleigh's case, have done so to the point where he sets himself aside and is focused more on Mako than himself in canon.
The ability and willingness to mentor/befriend a female character is fairly crucial in the male characters I like to write. I strongly suspect I have a strong connection with the female eromenos - a concept that was first introduced to me in a conversation about female archetypes. I never had a word for it before, but the female eromenos basically hits all my kinks hard and at once, like a conceptual keysmash on my personal character hotbuttons.
In Greek culture, the eromenos was a young male (adolescent) that an older man would take on, encourage, mentor, and sometimes have sexual relations with - non-penetrative relations (ie. no oral or anal), but certainly with the element of desire. The eromenos and his erastes - the older male in the relationship - were of the same aristocratic class and the relationship was primarily one of mentorship and friendship - desire was secondary and might not be part of the relationship at all.
My erastes desire their female eromenos - it's an important part of the dynamic for me, although it's not the whole of it. Obviously, within the modern context of rank and power and the historical abuse of such rank and power for sexual gratification, there are strong reasons for avoiding sexual consummation at all in such relationships.
However, I enjoy consummating the sexual relationship because of the opportunity for the woman to choose her own sexuality and the form she wants it to take - something traditionally denied females in all societies. Additionally, the lead-up to the consummation provides the opportunity for the man to display his...well...worthiness as her partner by respecting her boundaries through the process of relationship consummation, as so many men simply don't.
It's not a perfect fit for all the male characters, obviously, but it does illuminate something else in my choice of male characters.
If I had to say what connects all these men together, it's that, whatever their other faults, they respect the boundaries of the women around them. They choose encouragement over derision, friendship over hurt feelings, co-existence and acceptance over domination. They're not perfect, not by a long shot, but they're all trying to be good people. And for me, this is worth looking at in the context of their relationships with the women in their lives.
...Okay, so does it really surprise anyone that the male characters I consider worthy of writing are those who prove themselves worthy through their interactions with female characters?
Currently or previously? :)
Disclaimer: My understanding of the erastes/eromenos concept is probably not to spec for anyone with a background in classical Greek. I apologise for anything that twings your "holy cow has she got it wrong" radar up front - my sources are my own filtered understanding from various conversations, and Wikipedia.
My Favourite Fandom Men
The thing is that my favourite guys tend to shift with the fandom/female character - I don't have any guys that have outlasted my favourite female characters. Even Batman is of marginal interest without the context of the Justice League (and his interactions with Wonder Woman).
At first glance, the men I like to write are pretty varied.
Jack O'Neill had a delightful snarkiness, a refusal to take bullshit, and a strong team leader ethic. Teal'c could do wonderful deadpan. John Sheppard is wonderfully awkward, especially when the f-word is involved (feelings), while Ronon Dex observes everything, would rather do than sit and consider, and privately thinks that the Earthlings are crazy - they have it so good, and they have no idea.
Bruce Wayne has the duality of the Batman and the playboy - far more interesting to me than Superman's shiny-shoed goodness. Tony DiNozzo is frustrating and charming by turns - a boy-man with a serious side and a vulnerability that only really comes out with the women he's loved and admired.
In BBC Merlin, I liked the layers of complexity in Merlin's relationships based on who knew about his magic and who didn't, and Arthur as a simpler soul wrestling with the questions of how to be good and to whom his responsibilities as Prince lay. But I rarely wrote the two of them together without also writing Gwen and Morgana. When I was writing either of them, their interactions were more with Gwen and the stories about their relationship with Gwen.
More recently (the last two years) I've really enjoyed writing Steve Rogers, time-displaced hero. It's enjoyable to write someone who doesn't have to conform to modern standards - but who isn't necessarily socially regressed. And all that lovely, sweet courtesy is fun to tweak - both in the text and by the people he encounters.
I really need to catch up with Sleepy Hollow, because it looks like Ichabod Crane is much the same - with a slightly bigger timejump, of course.
And then most recently there's been Raleigh Becket. Who's really quite a sweetheart of a guy.*grins*
I suspect the thing that draws me most to these characters is that, while they all have fairly angsty backstories, they also have the in-canon strength and capability to grow beyond their manpain. And, in Raleigh's case, have done so to the point where he sets himself aside and is focused more on Mako than himself in canon.
The ability and willingness to mentor/befriend a female character is fairly crucial in the male characters I like to write. I strongly suspect I have a strong connection with the female eromenos - a concept that was first introduced to me in a conversation about female archetypes. I never had a word for it before, but the female eromenos basically hits all my kinks hard and at once, like a conceptual keysmash on my personal character hotbuttons.
In Greek culture, the eromenos was a young male (adolescent) that an older man would take on, encourage, mentor, and sometimes have sexual relations with - non-penetrative relations (ie. no oral or anal), but certainly with the element of desire. The eromenos and his erastes - the older male in the relationship - were of the same aristocratic class and the relationship was primarily one of mentorship and friendship - desire was secondary and might not be part of the relationship at all.
My erastes desire their female eromenos - it's an important part of the dynamic for me, although it's not the whole of it. Obviously, within the modern context of rank and power and the historical abuse of such rank and power for sexual gratification, there are strong reasons for avoiding sexual consummation at all in such relationships.
However, I enjoy consummating the sexual relationship because of the opportunity for the woman to choose her own sexuality and the form she wants it to take - something traditionally denied females in all societies. Additionally, the lead-up to the consummation provides the opportunity for the man to display his...well...worthiness as her partner by respecting her boundaries through the process of relationship consummation, as so many men simply don't.
It's not a perfect fit for all the male characters, obviously, but it does illuminate something else in my choice of male characters.
If I had to say what connects all these men together, it's that, whatever their other faults, they respect the boundaries of the women around them. They choose encouragement over derision, friendship over hurt feelings, co-existence and acceptance over domination. They're not perfect, not by a long shot, but they're all trying to be good people. And for me, this is worth looking at in the context of their relationships with the women in their lives.
...Okay, so does it really surprise anyone that the male characters I consider worthy of writing are those who prove themselves worthy through their interactions with female characters?