(no subject)
what do normal people do? what do normal people say? I'm well aware that I'm not "normal" and never have been, and the term "weird" has followed me far longer than it should have.
How do I become normal when normal things bore me? I like quoting tv shows and laughing when people say funny things. I laugh way more than the average person, I have noticed that. Maybe it's just not that funny.
Maybe nothing is funny.
And I know how to use an apostrophe. I can spell to a degree, and your and you're make a difference in meaning to me. That's not normal either, apparently I'm meant to drop my vocabulary and not be quite so anally retentive.
Why am I literally still acting like a 17 year old would? What happened to me to stunt my emotional growth so badly? He says he hasn't changed since high school so I must have fucked up something shocking somewhere if I still act like I'm in high school in a bad way.
And yet completely conflicted about goals etc.
What do normal people do? How do I become more normal? What is this arrogance people say I have which I can't explain because I don't think I'm better than everybody else, I get excited and want to show people when I improve but I thought that was seeking approval which granted is another thing that needs to go. I use archaic terminology, which either could be annoying for people who don't know what the words mean, or maybe I should spend more time with people with similar interests.
How do I find them? How do I make friends with them?
How do I make friends?
So these are the things that he's talking about, and I'm well aware of them. It makes me wish I could rewind two years and start in this City afresh.
How do I become normal when normal things bore me? I like quoting tv shows and laughing when people say funny things. I laugh way more than the average person, I have noticed that. Maybe it's just not that funny.
Maybe nothing is funny.
And I know how to use an apostrophe. I can spell to a degree, and your and you're make a difference in meaning to me. That's not normal either, apparently I'm meant to drop my vocabulary and not be quite so anally retentive.
Why am I literally still acting like a 17 year old would? What happened to me to stunt my emotional growth so badly? He says he hasn't changed since high school so I must have fucked up something shocking somewhere if I still act like I'm in high school in a bad way.
And yet completely conflicted about goals etc.
What do normal people do? How do I become more normal? What is this arrogance people say I have which I can't explain because I don't think I'm better than everybody else, I get excited and want to show people when I improve but I thought that was seeking approval which granted is another thing that needs to go. I use archaic terminology, which either could be annoying for people who don't know what the words mean, or maybe I should spend more time with people with similar interests.
How do I find them? How do I make friends with them?
How do I make friends?
So these are the things that he's talking about, and I'm well aware of them. It makes me wish I could rewind two years and start in this City afresh.