like sands through the hourglass...

[tidyscars]

Man oh man. So I got well drunk and called Brett... He and Heath came over and then I decided I wanted to go and drink cask wine in the park. (I think I'm at the beginning stages of a mid-twenties crisis and I'm trying to reclaim year 9.) So we did that. And we drank the whole disgusting thing. So quickly, in fact, that by the last drinks it was still cold. So we played on the swings and stuff for a while... Fell off the swings for a while is probably closer to the truth. So of course I start swinging on the gazebo, or as we like to call it, the gayzebo. That didn't work particularly well either, I think maybe that whole coordination thing kinda passed me by. Ehh, so we decided to go out. That was an even worse idea than drinking cask wine in the park. On the way we climbed trees and fell out, that was okay, until the crazy scary Charlie Manson/Hippie Man came and yelled at us to get out of his tree... Heathcliff ripped her jacket, it was MOST hilarious. So somehow we finally managed to get to a pub... Then it was jugs of beer and Brett telling the waitress I thought she was hot, even though I didn't. Bah. So we were at some table and I see this apparition. It is my sister... In Sass & Bide... At the pub. So I knew I was in trouble. She and Merv had come to get me, and of course I wouldn't go. So I picked her up and showed her to everybody, and then Brett told her we'd slept together so I think that's pretty much the entire world now... But it's okay, isn't it, if we're both gay? Just because we're different sexes, we're still gay.... Anyway, she thought he was just joking, but I didn't realise and kicked him, so she pretty much knew he wasn't then. Then I ended up in the pokie room thing talking to these women about God knows what, they were all wearing football shirts so I assume it was something butch. Then they left so I Robbie and I went down to where they were. Needless to say I disgraced myself on the dancefloor of the Courtie YET again. I lost my wallet at some stage, so today I had to relive it when Robbie was showing me all the spots I was kissing her in. And I was apparently trying to get her to come to the toilets with me, not that I remember, but it's hardly out of character. Eeesh. But apparently we were doing just fine in the corner of the dancefloor. I am completely covered in girls germs. Heath started channeling my mother and then disappeared. We woke Emma up to get in to their place. Brett cooked some sort of meat thing and didn't set fire to the house. The sofa bed we were on capsized like this / and Brett still didn't wake up. Brett (for the first time ever) came home with his wallet, jacket, phone, and money, while I lost EVERYTHING. All in all, a good night. I am never drinking again. My plan is to go to Sydney, get disco hair and plastic surgery, change my name to Remington Steele, and become a nun.

I told the boys of my plan to become a jingle writer, so Heath was like 'Okay, sell me coldsore cream' and I was just drunk enough that I did. Jazz in the park in the middle of the night, apparently. It was a fucking catchy tune too, I wish I could remember it. Heath said he'd buy the shit too, then someone said something about Kate or maybe I just imagined it, next thing you know I am performing The Taming Of The Shrew whilst covering myself in Stanley Wines' finest cask white. I told Brett about last friday night and he was very supportive, but also a bit upset at me. I was like 'It was just once!' but of course that's what we all say and what got me started in the first place. But it will be okay. I will be out of this fucking town by the weekend, and it's not like I have any kind of access in Sydney. I really want to go out on friday night, but I think maybe it's a really stupid idea.

One good thing about last nights pickup is that she wasn't twenty years older than me or nineteen! They can all stick their 'mummy-fetish' teasing! Woohoo! Until friday, probably. At least this one didn't have children my age. Hee!