Things as they are now
So..things lately have been less than perfect. Things at home have been so bloody frustrating. My parents are on my ass about every little thing. For example, I finally have a job. I was unemployed for 4 months, and the only job I could find was part time. I took it cause I was desperate. It's only 20 hours a week, which is half the hours I was doing before I lost my job. Right now, it's a pay check, and you'd think that would be enough to please them, but no. My dad comes up to me and is all like, so, "you need a better job. This one isnt good enough" . I'm like.."Umm..hello, Dad? Remember this thing called the recession?? Nobody is hiring full time, they cant afford to, and I'm sure you dont want me to be unemployed for another 4 months" All he does is stare at me. I know I have a valid point, just admit you know I'm right. Geez...I know I need a better job, but right now, the job I have is better than no job at all. Regardless of how little it is, it's an income.
I need to move out so badly. With everything that's been going on lately, I just cant handle living at home anymore. Yeah, it's way cheaper than living on my own or with a room mate, but everyday I'm at home is one more day added to my misery. I need my own life. I cant keep living by their rules. I cant go out when I want to, and when I do go out, my mother is calling me to find out when I'll be home. I mean, for god sakes! I just got rid of a boyfriend that was doing the same thing!! I want to be able to go out when I want, come home when I want, and just be myself. I'm so tired of having to plan my day around them. Getting woken up 6 or 7 hours before I have to go to work, just because they want me to come with them on errands. My mom comes in to my room without even knocking, and my dad is always in such a bad mood, I never know when he'd going to blow up in my face. I can never have friends over, because my parents do the 20 questions. I just cant deal with it anymore.
On top of dealing with my parents, everything else in my life seems to be going steadly downhill as well. There was a guy I really liked, who is actually the brother of one of my best friends. Him and me had never really hung out one on one. For the longest time he just saw me as his little sisters friend, but once we started hanging out more, he started to see me as his friend, and maybe someone he could like. Him and me went to movies, and hung out at his place with him and his room mate, who is also one of my friends, and things were going really great. I even stayed over at his place for a couple nights. Share a bed with him and everything, and all night he'd just hold me, and it was really nice. Then, about a week later, him and me were talking about when I could come and stay over again, and the next day, his status had changed to "in a relationship". I had been unaware that there was another girl he was trying to decide about. He was trying to pick between me and her. And he picked her. I just dont get it. We were having such a great time together. The comfort level was unbelievable. The girl he picked doesnt even live in Calgary. She lives in Lethbridge, an hour and a half away! (and to be totaly honest, she really isnt even that pretty lol) *sigh* I just dont understand. Time and time again, I end up with the short end of the stick. I just dont have good luck with guys. They either turn out to be total jerks, or they're not interested. Is it me? Am I doing something to repel the good ones?
Ok, time to talk about something good. Lately, I've been going around town, downtown mostly, and taking pictures. It's my new passion. It's something I know I'm good at. For a little while now Ive been posting my photos on a site called Deviant Art, and the comments I've been getting have been great. I even had one person as if I was selling prints!! This is something I'm really considering as a career. I dont even have to try, I just point and click and when I upload the pics to my computer, I'm always amazed at what I'm seeing. it's just a thought right now, but It's a serious thought. If anyone wants to see my pictures here's the link to my page http://tictacs30.deviantart.com/
Hmm..well i think that's about it. Enough ranting for the time being.