(no subject)
When I see little kids (esp babies) or like baby stuff (toys, clothes, etc) I get really sad. Sometimes, I almost cry.
I'm almost entirely emotionly ready for that part of my life.
I can't, though. For a few reasons.
1) Money. I don't get a proper income to even support myself.
2) Housing. I wouldn't want to force my brother to have to live with a child. I, of course, would want something more permanent to raise the child in.
3) Marriage. It's really important for me to be married before I pop any kids out. I'm old fashioned like that, I just pretend I'm not.
4) LARP. Yes...Larping is a factor in this. I enjoy it, and I have to figure out a way to fit that in with a baby.
5) Nick is going to the army. We don't know how long he'll be gone for, or when things will happen for us.
I just don't want to be an old mother. But I'm not looking to rush into things. I want things to be as ready as they can before I change my life.
I'm almost entirely emotionly ready for that part of my life.
I can't, though. For a few reasons.
1) Money. I don't get a proper income to even support myself.
2) Housing. I wouldn't want to force my brother to have to live with a child. I, of course, would want something more permanent to raise the child in.
3) Marriage. It's really important for me to be married before I pop any kids out. I'm old fashioned like that, I just pretend I'm not.
4) LARP. Yes...Larping is a factor in this. I enjoy it, and I have to figure out a way to fit that in with a baby.
5) Nick is going to the army. We don't know how long he'll be gone for, or when things will happen for us.
I just don't want to be an old mother. But I'm not looking to rush into things. I want things to be as ready as they can before I change my life.