"I cant sleep !"
So i havent been sleeping all that much to much to think about. I feel as if i ... i dont know. i feel like crap cause iv messed up again. i cant get away from the thing that kill me the most. SO.. iv been keeping my self bissy cause i know if i stop ill break down like no other. I feel so fustrated with my self. Sometimes it makes me crazy thats all.
I dont think college is for me. It just dosent feel right when im doing it alone. Life dosent feel right when im living it alone. I cant see ay thing in my future. so many people say they can see me doing thing but i see nothing, and the things i do feel like nothin. I cant find something that i love to do. I us to know ever thing when i had ppl in my life but know i feel so lost and alone. I just want to move away. I just want to....... I dont know. Im just not some thing that any one wants in there life right know. Bu nate seems to think he does. that makes me feel good a little. I dont know what i think to be honest. Sunny d tells me to go for it cause she thinks i need some one in my life. Other then heather. NOt like shes in it right know cause all thats messed up to. Al because i didnt want her to think that i was thinking about killing my self. yeah. my ideal of how to get a painting famuse quick. it was stupid, alot of my ideals are stupid. but yeah i lost my best friend over that. It almost feels like i lost her for nothing. i wish she understud that i cant just tell ppl what im thinking like that. I wish i dont know maybe heathers working tomarrow. then i can go get a snacker. Billy would give it to me cause he wants me to go with nate real bad. but yeah.
So the other day i was watching dogball with some friends and i could not think for the life of me, what movie that realy jerky guy played in and then "FAT CAMP" came to mind. Thats got to be one of my favs anyways. yeah was just thiking about it.
so sunny d convinsed me to join a bowling leuge. it started to day i was late, cause this fat kid made a deal for some chocolate, so that nikki could go home early. she moody this week. but i love her. so i have to go.
I dont think college is for me. It just dosent feel right when im doing it alone. Life dosent feel right when im living it alone. I cant see ay thing in my future. so many people say they can see me doing thing but i see nothing, and the things i do feel like nothin. I cant find something that i love to do. I us to know ever thing when i had ppl in my life but know i feel so lost and alone. I just want to move away. I just want to....... I dont know. Im just not some thing that any one wants in there life right know. Bu nate seems to think he does. that makes me feel good a little. I dont know what i think to be honest. Sunny d tells me to go for it cause she thinks i need some one in my life. Other then heather. NOt like shes in it right know cause all thats messed up to. Al because i didnt want her to think that i was thinking about killing my self. yeah. my ideal of how to get a painting famuse quick. it was stupid, alot of my ideals are stupid. but yeah i lost my best friend over that. It almost feels like i lost her for nothing. i wish she understud that i cant just tell ppl what im thinking like that. I wish i dont know maybe heathers working tomarrow. then i can go get a snacker. Billy would give it to me cause he wants me to go with nate real bad. but yeah.
So the other day i was watching dogball with some friends and i could not think for the life of me, what movie that realy jerky guy played in and then "FAT CAMP" came to mind. Thats got to be one of my favs anyways. yeah was just thiking about it.
so sunny d convinsed me to join a bowling leuge. it started to day i was late, cause this fat kid made a deal for some chocolate, so that nikki could go home early. she moody this week. but i love her. so i have to go.