Bleah!

[tickles_420]

so i was right when i said that me telling jim would of been a bad thing. Heather she's right i cant keep my mouth shut. But for some reason i though that he would say yes. i dont think she understands that i just want her to be happy and its clear that she's not geting that with me. i dont know any thing. theres a lot more things that a guy can do

Comments

so...

[snshn021]

u wanted comments. so now ur gonna get em!! i gess im gonna start from the beginning and work down...so it wasnt that big that u told Jim. i just wish he didnt hate me now. he looks at me like im a pile of shit now...as does just about everyone else in the store, but...whatever. im not unhappy with u. actually im quite happy to spend time with you!! i dont know. im just going thru a phase i gess. i just dont wanna be touched. then u try to hug me or something and when i pull away u automatically assume i hate u. i dont. really!! i just...i dunno. i feel like ur suffocating me or something. u dont ever want to do anything but hang on me and i just cant do it! im sorry!!!!!! ur not in my way at all...usually. just at work. i hate that u work with me ALL the time! we really do need time away within work! i have never doingngs on my own there.u dont ake my life suck either. i need u. u just dont understand how much! u didnt avoid going to ben's house. i kept u here at my house. i do understand that u like guys that make u feel good, but what did matt ever do to make you feel so great? he treated u like shit. u've just never had it good enuf to realize hes an ass! ben worries about you. a lot! he and i have talked about it...we both worry about u. i want to see u go somewhere. do u kno y i made that bet with u? i thot mabie u'd cool down and quit having sex. mabie u'd see how stupid it was. not bc theres something wrong with sex, but bc u need to do something with urself b4 u go and get knocked up. and bc ur screwin all the losers like ben and matt. u think either of them would help u out if u had their baby? ud be on ur own. not completely alone. ill always b around. but ur not gonna have no daddy to help take care of a baby! im not sayin ur a tramp or anything of the sort! just that u cant always count on ur "monthly" to be on time. accidents happen! i dont want to see that happen to u! i love you too much Bear! u dont make my life crap either! u dont wanna be like me tho! im goin nowhere fast! and no one wants me. u saw it urself. even losers say no. that doesnt mean i quit. i just have to regroup and move on. not to say i still dont like that loser. i do. i like him a lot!! but that doesnt matter! you dont need to change to make ppl like u. just let them see YOU. not who uv become. the real u. the person u were when we first met. u try too hard to impress ppl. like sexy dan did when he first started. thats how ppl see u too. that or uv acted like a complete bitch to them so they think u r super bitch. u dont have to change to live with me. but ur problem is that u wont even try things. not even just once (or retry if u already have tried. wether the first was bad or not...i'll come back to this!!) ive never asked u to wear make-up for the rest of ur life. just to try it. small things do wonders. im not saying that u need make-up...but a little mascara brings out ur eyes a lot...like me and dom were talkin about the other day. not everyone wears make-up bc they think theyre ugly w/o it. theyre just enhancing what they already have. thats y i wear mascara (the stuff on my eyelashes) and eyeliner. it makes ppl notice my eyes. open up to things is all im sayin. mabie try out a little make-up for jessie's wedding. nothing big. who knos...u mite like it. if u dont then u'll never have to wear it again. no one's asking u to please the world. just try new things. as for my horse...she prolly will go with me when i get a house. wether u live with me or not. i never reamed u. i just wish u were a little more open to the whole thing. just bc something bad happened last time u rode a horse doesnt mean it will happen the next time, or ever again for that matter. and im not asking u to ride a horse. mabie i will later in life but i dont expect u to go out in ur back yard and jump on an animal u hate. just try new things. mabie go out to bridgeport with me one day and "meet" sassy. honestly i dont kno how u can like cows and hate horses...horses are lovers. they want to be with ppl. they want to be loved. just like u and me. cows are emotionless pieces of shit. they dont have the same desire to be loved. they only care about being fed. a cow would do more physical damage to u then a horse would any day (except goldie!!)