wow.
so today sucked. everything about it sucked. i'm making this a public entry because i want people to read it.
in psychology today my friend told me about a girl i was friends with, katie, who died friday night. i hadn't hung out with her since before summer... but it hit me really hard. when i was going out with bobby i saw her every day. we hung out a lot actually. i don't know... i didn't even know she was pregnant. at first i heard it was eight months... but then jack said it was six months. either way... it's not good. the story has been twisted a lot but the last one i heard was that she od'd on xanax and crystal meth. she went to bed and choked on her own vomit. i feel horrible. i feel sad... and scared. because it could've been me....over dosing i mean. not that i'd ever do those drugs. they're charging the boyfriend with murder... because he gave it to her. it feels so unreal. it's like... i have pictures of us in my room. i don't know. i just can't believe it. i've been crying for a little while. i haven't called bobby. i imagine that he's a wreck but i will probably see him tomorrow. everything is such a blur. i called danielle because i didn't know who else to call that knew her besides james and mike. even though we haven't talked much and we're not really friends we're going to the funeral together tomorrow...which makes me happy. i just hope katie's in a better place.
after class i was really bummed out. i met max to go study but i couldn't concentrate. we had a long talk about his past.. and how upset i was about katie. he just hugged me a long time. then we went to class and didn't have a quiz after all... i walk to my car and i start it... it started fine.. but the check engine light was flashing. and my steering wheel was shaking. i called max to see if he could bring me home but he wanted to hear my car. the other night on the way home from widener my RPMs shot way up to the 7 and 8 and i had to pull over. he said he'd follow me home. so he did. and i'm here.
mike broke plans tonight supposedly to have dinner with his grandparents for their anniversery... but vince accidently blurted out that mike was playing football with the guys. nice. reaaaalll fucking night. all he had to do was say he felt like playing football. i'm so annoyed.
whatever.. i pretty much am committed to steve anyway.
but today was the day from hell and tomorrow's not going to be much better..
in psychology today my friend told me about a girl i was friends with, katie, who died friday night. i hadn't hung out with her since before summer... but it hit me really hard. when i was going out with bobby i saw her every day. we hung out a lot actually. i don't know... i didn't even know she was pregnant. at first i heard it was eight months... but then jack said it was six months. either way... it's not good. the story has been twisted a lot but the last one i heard was that she od'd on xanax and crystal meth. she went to bed and choked on her own vomit. i feel horrible. i feel sad... and scared. because it could've been me....over dosing i mean. not that i'd ever do those drugs. they're charging the boyfriend with murder... because he gave it to her. it feels so unreal. it's like... i have pictures of us in my room. i don't know. i just can't believe it. i've been crying for a little while. i haven't called bobby. i imagine that he's a wreck but i will probably see him tomorrow. everything is such a blur. i called danielle because i didn't know who else to call that knew her besides james and mike. even though we haven't talked much and we're not really friends we're going to the funeral together tomorrow...which makes me happy. i just hope katie's in a better place.
after class i was really bummed out. i met max to go study but i couldn't concentrate. we had a long talk about his past.. and how upset i was about katie. he just hugged me a long time. then we went to class and didn't have a quiz after all... i walk to my car and i start it... it started fine.. but the check engine light was flashing. and my steering wheel was shaking. i called max to see if he could bring me home but he wanted to hear my car. the other night on the way home from widener my RPMs shot way up to the 7 and 8 and i had to pull over. he said he'd follow me home. so he did. and i'm here.
mike broke plans tonight supposedly to have dinner with his grandparents for their anniversery... but vince accidently blurted out that mike was playing football with the guys. nice. reaaaalll fucking night. all he had to do was say he felt like playing football. i'm so annoyed.
whatever.. i pretty much am committed to steve anyway.
but today was the day from hell and tomorrow's not going to be much better..