Weak Knees

[ticklemeblack]

And it's only in moments of true weakness,
when darkness blurs the line
between my conscious state ,
and the frantic backroads of my mind
that  I pull your note out and read it.
Just a few times for good measure,
Pushing down on the corners 
Pressing hard against the creases time has alotted
and laughing at the faded red smilies dotting the frame 
of a tattered notebook paper promising the world inbetween
rigid blue lines.
I do all this in secretive shame,
hoping against my instincts and bitter cynism
that maybe I'll feel that again
about someone
anyone.