It's a lonely feeling;
To feel lonely is a frightening feeling. Here I am, on Christmas Eve, at home, on the computer, doing absolutely nothing productive. Last year, it was an absolutely fun Christmas Eve cause I got to spend it with all my friends, whom I dearly miss now. Even though it wasn't exactly a bright, with sudden downpours every hour or so, I still felt like that was the best outing we've had that year cause of the company I had. The subtle yet frighteningly comfortable flirting, the stupidity we showcased, the play-off between genders, everything seemed so perfect that day. Yet today, I'm still home, not out getting into the festive mood, even though I don't celebrate it. This year, a lot had changed. I seriously mean a lot. It's seriously very tiring to keep in touch with different cliques of friends. I feel like I'm drifting apart from all of them. No more common topics or interests. Grr, sometimes I just wish time would stand still, not move forward and that nothing would change. At all! But if nothing ever changes, I won't meet new friends whom I love just as I equally love my old friends. Or meet the guy I like now. Or have the team that sometimes makes me happy.
I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster, going through my emotions. It passes a different emotion within seconds and moves on to the next. It's a thrilling ride that leaves me speechless and thoughtless. Getting my emotions together in words is a frustrating thing cause if I, myself, don't know what I'm feeling right now, how am I to gather it all together and put on a new front for others to see? Gosh, this post doesn't even make sense anymore.
On another note, there's the canoeing xmas celebration tonight and I still don't know whether I'm going or not. Sucks actually. I want to go out with a certain someone but I don't want to make it so friggin' obvious nor pull him away from anything important.
I want to runaway, to a far away island paradise or another shopping paradise.
To get myself distracted from all these ridiculous distractions!
I'm absolutely in love with my new phone, though the battery life sucks big time and it's not really a new model, but hey! A new phone is better than no phone at all! :D Gosh, I love my daddy so much for getting me a new phone! I'd really miss using the Motorola :(:(:(
I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster, going through my emotions. It passes a different emotion within seconds and moves on to the next. It's a thrilling ride that leaves me speechless and thoughtless. Getting my emotions together in words is a frustrating thing cause if I, myself, don't know what I'm feeling right now, how am I to gather it all together and put on a new front for others to see? Gosh, this post doesn't even make sense anymore.
On another note, there's the canoeing xmas celebration tonight and I still don't know whether I'm going or not. Sucks actually. I want to go out with a certain someone but I don't want to make it so friggin' obvious nor pull him away from anything important.
I want to runaway, to a far away island paradise or another shopping paradise.
To get myself distracted from all these ridiculous distractions!
I'm absolutely in love with my new phone, though the battery life sucks big time and it's not really a new model, but hey! A new phone is better than no phone at all! :D Gosh, I love my daddy so much for getting me a new phone! I'd really miss using the Motorola :(:(:(