Am I not good enough for the world? Am I destined only to die, the same way that I lived?
Uhm-so....today I got up early! Which, btw, was fantabulous! I like sleeping in but I like being able to watch certain shows. It please me this morning to wake up at 10. Ok that's not early in my parents eyes but to me it's early. Or try this, earlier than when I usually wake up...12.
In other news summer has pros and cons...I like the sleep, but the boredom must come to an end or I'll soon deteriorate. I hate how my lj has become just a daily update and that's rather boring if you ask me. So I'll soon be moving on to what's been on my mind. First I'll end the boring part...the daily event part....uhm-yea...watched tv...got a movie off of ppv...and that's it. Oh Molly(my dog) had yet another seizure....and yes its sad. People think I don't care because when I talk about it I don't suddenly burst into tears. Yes I'm sad, ok? I am dealing with it in my own manor. My mom dealing with it by laughing it off and walking away to do cleaning to sorta clean it away perhaps. I don't know. My step dad kinda doesn't feel comfortable talking about it..and I feel kind of numb sometimes because I see her and she seems fine but I know it's not. When I see her fine like that everything seems to be just an allusion that she's got this brain tumor. So when people ask me how she's doing I say I think she's fine. Details? No. I don't like to discuss the details because that's when I start doing the tearing up thing. I hate crying. So I try to swallow the lump in my throat and trudge on. Does it work? No. I end up in a silent cry over the phone and in my own mind no one notices the fact that I just let my emotions loose. Ok. There. My parents think I'm a little girl who doesn't know/understand death so they talk about it with safety. Yea I'm pretty clear on what's up. So look, my dog is sick and will be put down soon. When? Not sure...but I don't like to talk about it and I truly wanted to make this clear. I'm not offended when you ask about her. It's nice you're checking up. Just don't ask for details. I'll tell you when you ask what I feel like telling. There. That's taken care of...in a way.
I know a lot more has been on my mind...but people do(supposedly) read this. Soooo that's something that will have to be spoken either privately or just not at all. Uhmmm or something. I don't think there's anything else...if there is I'm sure I'll update or something.
byes
<3
Oh...The Lovely Jackie is getting her permit tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!! Yay for her!! Lucky bitch....haha.
In other news summer has pros and cons...I like the sleep, but the boredom must come to an end or I'll soon deteriorate. I hate how my lj has become just a daily update and that's rather boring if you ask me. So I'll soon be moving on to what's been on my mind. First I'll end the boring part...the daily event part....uhm-yea...watched tv...got a movie off of ppv...and that's it. Oh Molly(my dog) had yet another seizure....and yes its sad. People think I don't care because when I talk about it I don't suddenly burst into tears. Yes I'm sad, ok? I am dealing with it in my own manor. My mom dealing with it by laughing it off and walking away to do cleaning to sorta clean it away perhaps. I don't know. My step dad kinda doesn't feel comfortable talking about it..and I feel kind of numb sometimes because I see her and she seems fine but I know it's not. When I see her fine like that everything seems to be just an allusion that she's got this brain tumor. So when people ask me how she's doing I say I think she's fine. Details? No. I don't like to discuss the details because that's when I start doing the tearing up thing. I hate crying. So I try to swallow the lump in my throat and trudge on. Does it work? No. I end up in a silent cry over the phone and in my own mind no one notices the fact that I just let my emotions loose. Ok. There. My parents think I'm a little girl who doesn't know/understand death so they talk about it with safety. Yea I'm pretty clear on what's up. So look, my dog is sick and will be put down soon. When? Not sure...but I don't like to talk about it and I truly wanted to make this clear. I'm not offended when you ask about her. It's nice you're checking up. Just don't ask for details. I'll tell you when you ask what I feel like telling. There. That's taken care of...in a way.
I know a lot more has been on my mind...but people do(supposedly) read this. Soooo that's something that will have to be spoken either privately or just not at all. Uhmmm or something. I don't think there's anything else...if there is I'm sure I'll update or something.
byes
<3
Oh...The Lovely Jackie is getting her permit tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!! Yay for her!! Lucky bitch....haha.