alone
it is saturday morning at around 10:20 on a crisp october day. eh. enough with the whole feel the writing shit. last night was pretty shitty. after school i had to take a quiz with T.A so i did and im pretty sure i didnt do to well cuz all i wanted to do was get outta there. so as im leaving i see adam garland and i was like.ADAm wheres susie cuz she said that she would come and visit and she was talking to some of the teachers. adam was waiting for her too so i waiting with him and it was pretty fun. it's kinda wierd though cuz everyone was like katie .. you look so lost.. (because mike is college visiting and whatever) so after a while susie finally comes back and is like ready! and then a tennis match so we waited for her a little more to go see her coach and whatnot. after that we went to the library cuz thats where they work and we said hello and how much everyone missed susie. who couldnt miss susie. the only way i could really explain her is that she's like this little ray of sunshine and when she comes around its happy cuz she makes you smile. after we go to starbucks but after that!!!!!!! adam and i have to go BAck! to school for the peer leadership thing and it talks about all sad things that made me think of more sad things and i just was like. :( :( of couse i was sitting next to shannon and shes a crazy girl so she made me laugh a while. and thats finally over and shannon and dan give me a ride home and then im sitting here for a long time just doing nothing and feeling like im a loser with no friends. which. in some ways is pretty true cuz i do have friends in school i just never really hang out with them outside of school which also made me even more sad. then i get this call from my dad saying that my grandma is really fading fast (she has cancer) and now she is all disoriented and doesnt really talk or open her eyes much anymore. my dad said i should go see her asap and we called up my grandpa but he wouldnt let me come over so i really dont know what to do because ireally do want to see her but i dont want him to get upset or angry at me because i always feel so bad when he is upset with me. mike calls me YAy hes pretty bored and wants to come home pretty badly but that made me more upset because i know my weekend is going to be a repeat of friday night doing a whole lot of nothing. well today (saturday) it doesnt even matter because i have to work from 2-6 and then i have to babysit from 7:30 -?? so i dont even know whats keeping me going. i just want to crawl in my bed and be like. thats it. im done playing these cruel games. my mom is also sort of being annoying because more than life for my car in june i want to buy a vw beetle (the new one) because it is soooo cute and i adore it. so she found one that is fully loaded sun roof and everything but its 12,000 and shes like i love this car because its fully loaded practically no milage on it but you'd never be able to pay me off... so in essence she's really just saying shes buying the car i LOVE and keeping it for herself. its not like she'd let me drive it because she thinks i suck . which i'll let you all know.. im not really that bad at all shes just crumby when it comes to driving. bah. we're gonna go look or something so i'll write later. bye WAIT! well i guess lastnight it was. i had the weirdest dreamn we( me mike kaitlin zizza and Kristen buckley) <--very random people. were driving around in the car my mom wants to get, that sexy beatle that i just want to be MINE ALL MINE. and then we go to turn around and theres an edge and we are slipping and she has the E brake on and is holding the brakes as well and we are all leaning forward and she turns around to me and mike cuz we're in the back seat and goes i hope you know that we are gonna fall off this edge and we turn around and its a pretty steep drop so then we fall and me and mike get left in the car by the paramedics *well we wake up and kristen and katie are gone* so we are at a college and i see elena's brother in the classroom and im like thats alexander! elenas brother to mike. we are kinda hurt and we see this guy who in another dream helped me because i was hurt cuz he was a paramedic or lived at the paramedic building or something so we go there yet we arent being helped on our injuries we are looking and looking for katie and kristen but we cant find them then we see tara and kat ackermen or hwoever you spell her last name and they are playing cards and eating candy so we sit down and start eating the candy and stuff and it was good but then im like ow. im hurt and where are katie and kristen and then the guy was like oh. they maybe somehwere else and we never found them and i woke up. WEIRD..