i can't help it if i'm just a fool...
it makes it hard for me to open up and give people a chance. sure i try to be friendly and outgoing, but i realize now that i am so afraid of being rejected that i just can't bring myself to allow myself that chance. to obviously flirt is one of the hardest things for me to do. i learned that this year. i'm really bad at letting someone know i like him. and all i'm doing is hurting myself. i'm breaking my own fucking heart and it's so stupid! gah. i do it to myself, so it's really nobody's fault but mine.
i'm being very emo lately and i don't like it at all.
my goal this year is to meet someone who will be crazy about me and i can be crazy about him and we can be crazy together.
so i need to stop squandering in my past crushes/flings/whatevers and realize that i am amazing and someone would be very lucky to have me and i deserve to be loved.
sometimes you just need to vent and put it out there... even if i'm the only one who needs to hear it... because i'm really the only one who can do a damn thing about it...