(no subject)
After trying to conserve energy and careful planning to get to the Manchester Munch tomorrow, it's not going to happen. I've had to take a step back and take a long hard good look at things, and I have to admit that I really am not well enough to go.
The trouble is I try and ignore the fact that I'm not well. I don't want to feel like an invalid. I don't want my illness to take over my life. Well that's all ok in fantasy land, but in reality it's what is happening.
This last pulsing of medication regime, which the specialist calls chemotherapy, seems to have the same kind of side effects as chemo for cancer does. The tiredness, sickness, diarrhoea or constipation, loss of appetite, sore mouth and tongue, skin becoming very dry and scaly, hair falling out all on top of the normal symptoms I'm already struggling with is pulling me down really hard. I'm needing to sleep a lot more, and can't manage to last more than 3 hours without a nap.
So, when you add 2 hours travelling in the car; to the effort needed to get down the steps in the venue, talk to people, the noise, and getting back up the steps and going home, it becomes too much. I was putting too much pressure on myself. Once I'd made the decision to not go, some of that pressure lifted.
It's trying to find a balance, and that's difficult.
So, although I won't make the 10th Birthday, to say congratulations to my dear friend D for being the most loyal, long serving and welcoming munch organiser I've had the pleasure to meet. The success is down to him and his band of helpers who turn up month after month to welcome the new and the nervous, along with the regulars. He deserves recognition for the good job that he's done. So, I hope someone will toast him tomorrow and tell him congratulations from me. xxxxxxxxxx
The trouble is I try and ignore the fact that I'm not well. I don't want to feel like an invalid. I don't want my illness to take over my life. Well that's all ok in fantasy land, but in reality it's what is happening.
This last pulsing of medication regime, which the specialist calls chemotherapy, seems to have the same kind of side effects as chemo for cancer does. The tiredness, sickness, diarrhoea or constipation, loss of appetite, sore mouth and tongue, skin becoming very dry and scaly, hair falling out all on top of the normal symptoms I'm already struggling with is pulling me down really hard. I'm needing to sleep a lot more, and can't manage to last more than 3 hours without a nap.
So, when you add 2 hours travelling in the car; to the effort needed to get down the steps in the venue, talk to people, the noise, and getting back up the steps and going home, it becomes too much. I was putting too much pressure on myself. Once I'd made the decision to not go, some of that pressure lifted.
It's trying to find a balance, and that's difficult.
So, although I won't make the 10th Birthday, to say congratulations to my dear friend D for being the most loyal, long serving and welcoming munch organiser I've had the pleasure to meet. The success is down to him and his band of helpers who turn up month after month to welcome the new and the nervous, along with the regulars. He deserves recognition for the good job that he's done. So, I hope someone will toast him tomorrow and tell him congratulations from me. xxxxxxxxxx