I did it- I broke up with her

[tiamo326]

This morning, I broke up with my girlfriend, Shelly K. To be honest, I only went out with her to get over Shelly Harlin, but it didn't work. I feel so bad. Shelly K. is in love with me, but I am in love with Shelly H. I'm in the kind of situation that would normally be on Jerry Springer. Ok, so I'm in love with Shelly H., and she likes me and all, but she is sort of with someone else, Allyson. Allyson and I were sorta friends, but she hates me now because I came in between her and Shelly. Every time Shelly H. and I are together it is so perfect. It's like a tornado is around us but we stand still. I can't describe it. I feel so guilty for putting her in this situation- having to choose between two people. I wish there was a way that everyone could be happy. Shelly H. and I would be happy together, but Allyson wouldn't be (at least not at first). If Shelly H. stays with Allyson, I wouldn't be happy, but Allyson would be. To be honest, I really don't think Shelly H. would be happy either. I dunno. I dunno what to think. Every time I try to sort things out, every thing gets all the more crazy and confusing. So, anyhoo, Shelly K. took it OK, I guess. I told her that I was in love with someone else, and it wasn't fair to keep leading her on. I told her that if my heart wasn't all fucked up that I would definitely date her. I feel realllllly guilty, though, because I sorta cheated on her with Shelly H. Oops. Why do I get myself in these situations? I can tell you- because I'm retarded. My heart runs my life and not my head. I gotta stop. And for some reason I have Britney Spears stuck in my head "And every time I try to fly I fall, without my wings I feel so small, I guess I need you baby." So, yea. I'm gaining progress- I stopped leading Shelly K. on and avoided breaking her heart even more than I already have. What was I even thinking? I never really even liked the girl. I feel terrible. God, I can't stand hurting people, and lately that's all I seem to have been doing. The bottom line is, I am in love with Shelly H. and I'll stick through it- she is worth it.
eat more cheese, people! ~Jillian