(no subject)
My relationship here is officially over, and I probably will not be remaining in Los Angeles.
What this means to me is that my 50k school debt is for nothing. I'll have to go back to complete my education, and everything I learned at the art institute is pretty much for naught, considering I didn't finish there and cannot transfer credits. Instead of finishing my degree I got a failed relationship and 5 years of wasted life. I shouldn't say it was all a waste, but for 50k I would have liked it to be a lifetime investment, not a fleeting disaster.
I won't stay in LA because I'd be forced to live with a roommate or on my own, and rent is too expensive. I would survive just fine, but I would be out of time and too lacking in money to get back into school. No school means a dead-end career with jobs that don't pay enough for survival.
Most of all I fear being alone, and I don't want to throw away everything I've worked hard to build in my current relationship. All those years of doing things of all sorts together won't mean much of anything except a typical confused friendship. Then again...at least if I did stay in LA, I'd have a friendship of some kind and lots of other acquaintances to hang out with who live around the corner. Moving back in with my parents would mean I'd have...my parents. I don't know if I could stand the "Obama is an asshole" and other similar comments for too long...I need to be around people of like minds.
I don't really know...If I find a good roommate, can I stay in LA and still work out a way to go back to school? I feel very strongly that I cannot survive on my own, but I need to get past that. Its purely psychological.
Overall I'm just so depressed and confused...
What this means to me is that my 50k school debt is for nothing. I'll have to go back to complete my education, and everything I learned at the art institute is pretty much for naught, considering I didn't finish there and cannot transfer credits. Instead of finishing my degree I got a failed relationship and 5 years of wasted life. I shouldn't say it was all a waste, but for 50k I would have liked it to be a lifetime investment, not a fleeting disaster.
I won't stay in LA because I'd be forced to live with a roommate or on my own, and rent is too expensive. I would survive just fine, but I would be out of time and too lacking in money to get back into school. No school means a dead-end career with jobs that don't pay enough for survival.
Most of all I fear being alone, and I don't want to throw away everything I've worked hard to build in my current relationship. All those years of doing things of all sorts together won't mean much of anything except a typical confused friendship. Then again...at least if I did stay in LA, I'd have a friendship of some kind and lots of other acquaintances to hang out with who live around the corner. Moving back in with my parents would mean I'd have...my parents. I don't know if I could stand the "Obama is an asshole" and other similar comments for too long...I need to be around people of like minds.
I don't really know...If I find a good roommate, can I stay in LA and still work out a way to go back to school? I feel very strongly that I cannot survive on my own, but I need to get past that. Its purely psychological.
Overall I'm just so depressed and confused...