Career Change
I wanna be a movie critic. They get paid for doing nothing.
They'll be all watching a movie, and they'll be all 'Hm, this movie needs an adjective to make the idiots happy. How about.... *points to random page in dictionary* Viscous!"
And then the commercials'll be all "THE MOST VISCOUS MOVIE THIS YEAR! SEE WHAT THE CRITICS ARE SAYING! THIS MOVIE IS THE MOST VISCOUS EXPERIENCE YOU'LL EVER HAVE!"
And it'd be like the best selling movie ever. Because 99% of people have no idea what the fuck it means but they'd think it's some new word for 'great and not mindnumbingly boring'.
And the 1% that did see it would either be laughing their asses off or would just go see it to see what kind of idiot describes a movie as viscous. And they'd be all "who the hell uses 'viscous' anymore?"
And then everybody'd be talking about it til one day someone who was finally tired of hearing how it was greater than Star Wars, Cowboy Bebop, and the presidential election of 2000 combined, and they'd be all "SHUT UP ABOUT THE DAMN MOVIE ALREADY! VISCOUS REFERS TO THICK FLUIDS, YOU MORONS!" And everybody'd feel stupid and shut up about it til the dictionary changed the meaning to mean a really great movie. And then everybody'd be happy.
Except the smart people, but they'd all go commit suicide anyways. So the world would be populated by happy idiots.
Until the aliens exploded it to prevent the spread of an interstellar stupidity plague. And all the smart people that offed themselves first would be all 'haha'. Except they'd all be dead, so no one'd really care.
Except maybe the aliens. They'd probably think it was funny.
They'll be all watching a movie, and they'll be all 'Hm, this movie needs an adjective to make the idiots happy. How about.... *points to random page in dictionary* Viscous!"
And then the commercials'll be all "THE MOST VISCOUS MOVIE THIS YEAR! SEE WHAT THE CRITICS ARE SAYING! THIS MOVIE IS THE MOST VISCOUS EXPERIENCE YOU'LL EVER HAVE!"
And it'd be like the best selling movie ever. Because 99% of people have no idea what the fuck it means but they'd think it's some new word for 'great and not mindnumbingly boring'.
And the 1% that did see it would either be laughing their asses off or would just go see it to see what kind of idiot describes a movie as viscous. And they'd be all "who the hell uses 'viscous' anymore?"
And then everybody'd be talking about it til one day someone who was finally tired of hearing how it was greater than Star Wars, Cowboy Bebop, and the presidential election of 2000 combined, and they'd be all "SHUT UP ABOUT THE DAMN MOVIE ALREADY! VISCOUS REFERS TO THICK FLUIDS, YOU MORONS!" And everybody'd feel stupid and shut up about it til the dictionary changed the meaning to mean a really great movie. And then everybody'd be happy.
Except the smart people, but they'd all go commit suicide anyways. So the world would be populated by happy idiots.
Until the aliens exploded it to prevent the spread of an interstellar stupidity plague. And all the smart people that offed themselves first would be all 'haha'. Except they'd all be dead, so no one'd really care.
Except maybe the aliens. They'd probably think it was funny.