(no subject)

[tiahanson]

right now i am really loving sweetsexysadie and moosebp. they are both new friends, and the reasons why i hold them so dear so soon are similar. i'm not exactly sure how to verbalize it. it would seem that both of them took to liking me a lot almost instantly, but it's not just that. to be honest, most people who meet me tend to like me. it is more why they like me.. but i can't really explain it. i feel like they both see something in me that was nearly snuffed out over the years. hearing their words for me inspire me to bring those traits out more and more, and appreciate the good in myself. the light in myself. they both seem to be excellent listeners, genuine feedback leavers, eh.. anyway. i just thought about how completely awesome these two new people in my life are. i hope we can grow closer and closer, and i can contribute to both of your happiness the way you already have to mine.

today i have been thinking about how i let other people give me insecurity. i think about a girl jeremy was into when we broke up, or about people who are pretty, or people who have things that i don't, and i'm filled with envy, insecurity, negativity. just bad awful feelings. i don't want to feel that way about other people or myself. i want to get rid of that part of me. i haven't really learned how yet.. but i'm working on it.it's such a useless feeling. i will break myself of it though and replace hate and envy with love and understanding and confidence.

and now i'm all involved in an irc converation about castrati.. so i'm going to get back to that..