(no subject)
Last night I had a really really long talk with my mom about everything. We talked about both of her marriages have failed and how's she's feeling really shitty about herself. My ex step-dad is takin all of her money even though he came with none. He get's half of the house money, which is a lot, even though we lived there before he came along. All he did was smoke his way through the relationship. He didn't contribute very much. My mom wore the pants and made all the fucking money. So now he tells my mom he wants a shit load of money all at once because "he needs to start his life over again." Considering he didn't even have one before he moved in with us. He lived with his fucking brother. It must be nice. So whatever, anyways, we talked about so much. There were things my mom told me that I had never known before. It made me realize how much of an amazing person she is. She is definetly my best friend. She started to cry last night when we talked about me going to school. It breaks my heart cause I'm really not ready to leave either, but it's something I have to do.
I haven't really been very happy lately. I haven't been happy with myself. I know this is going to sound really bad but I really don't care. I feel like I'm gaining weight, especially in the stomach/hips area. And to be honest with you, I don't like it at all. I know I'm not fat, I'm not saying I am. I'm just used to being one size and have stayed the same size since like sophmore year. The only thing that has gotten bigger were my boobs. The fact is, I like being skinny. I like the size and weight I am. Now that I'm not really how I want to be, I'm eating better and I need to start workin out and doing crunches or something. There's other things I'm not happy with either, but I don't feel like getting into it. There's just a lot of things in my life that I have to really think of. I just want to meet new people and make new friends. It seems like the friends I have now are growing so distant already. Eh what can you do.
Sorry for being emo..no one likes an emo person. They're no fun.
PS- Oh and on a brighter note, Jenny burned me Hanson's first CD again since I threw it away a long time ago cause I thought I was too tight for them. I'm once again obsessed with two of the songs on that CD and am having fantasies about Taylor again. His voice is just so sexy!!! I used to have dreams about him 0=)
I haven't really been very happy lately. I haven't been happy with myself. I know this is going to sound really bad but I really don't care. I feel like I'm gaining weight, especially in the stomach/hips area. And to be honest with you, I don't like it at all. I know I'm not fat, I'm not saying I am. I'm just used to being one size and have stayed the same size since like sophmore year. The only thing that has gotten bigger were my boobs. The fact is, I like being skinny. I like the size and weight I am. Now that I'm not really how I want to be, I'm eating better and I need to start workin out and doing crunches or something. There's other things I'm not happy with either, but I don't feel like getting into it. There's just a lot of things in my life that I have to really think of. I just want to meet new people and make new friends. It seems like the friends I have now are growing so distant already. Eh what can you do.
Sorry for being emo..no one likes an emo person. They're no fun.
PS- Oh and on a brighter note, Jenny burned me Hanson's first CD again since I threw it away a long time ago cause I thought I was too tight for them. I'm once again obsessed with two of the songs on that CD and am having fantasies about Taylor again. His voice is just so sexy!!! I used to have dreams about him 0=)