Drabbles x 4: Guards of a Feather
Four weird drabbles about these five guards, night school and birds. ;-)
Written for rh_drabblefest
A/N: Title changed from Fowler Guards to Guards of a Feather, thanks to the brilliance of whatcatydidnext.
Title: Bird Course
Rating: G
Word count: 162
Characters/Pairings: Five guards and Guy. Marian flashing by. Very vague Guy/Marian.
Prompts: Guards; bird catchers, ye olde medieval night school, Guy. Guy; Marian.
Disclaimer: Robin Hood is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.
“So; you know your orders!” Sir Guy said resolutely. “The five of you sign up for the sheriff’s bird course.”
“Yes, mylord...” four of the guards muttered reluctantly.
“Eer...?” said Swidhelm questioningly. He had not been quite himself since the day in the dungoen, but he refrained from making silly name jokes.
Sir Guy crossed his arms across his chest. “What is it, Swidhelm?” he asked impatiantly.
“Whot birds?”
“Pardon?”
“Whot kind of birds and such, mylord?”
“Yeah!” Osfrid piped up. “Will it be, like, falconry and stuff?”
All guards looked at Sir Guy expectantly.
Sir Guy tilted his hip, raised his eyebrows and smirked enigmatically. Then he turned around and left, striding purposfully, straight forward over the yard. Just then, Lady Marian came swaggering from his left, and Sir Guy immediately changed direction.
“Oi!” said Eadbald, “I’d rather take his bird course myself.” The other guards nodded in agreement, Swidhelm nodded from side to side instead; yet another side effect.
Title: Fowl
Rating: G
Word count: 147
Characters/Pairings: Five guards and Vasey.
Prompts: Vasey; birds, birdsong. Guards; bird catchers, ye olde medieval night school.
Disclaimer: Robin Hood is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.
Five guards stood in the yard, watching with expectation as the sheriff skipped down the stairs while servants and other guards carried out his bird cages.
“Pupils, my dear pupils!” the sheriff exclaimed, stretching out his arms. “Welcome to your first lesson! You need to know all about the birds of Sherwood Forest to get me what I want! Think of birds as... little outlaws! Bring them in, catch them for your sheriff’s delight and amusement! Listen to their beauuuuutifuuul birdsong; especially when they’re caged and hungry!”
“Now THIS is a ROBIN!” shouted the sheriff in a voice bordering between triumph and madness while he held up a cage. “Catch all you can of these! All of them, in fact! The bigger, the better!”
None of the sheriff’s birds of prey were taken out. This was obviously not about falconry at all.
“That was foul,” said Wictred.
Title: Birds of a feather
Rating: PG
Word count: 160
Characters: Five guards, Robin Hood, Much, Will and the rest of the gang.
Prompts: Guards; bird catchers, lost in the forest, ineptitude. Robin; "here I come to save the day!" Outlaws; food fight.
Disclaimer: Robin Hood is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.
Out in the forest, the five newly-educated guards scurried the trees. They were still not sure what Ye Olde Medieval Night Schooling in Fowlery was about. Outlaws? Decoys? Or just birds? Meanwhile, they did catch a lot of nice birds and the sheriff seemed pleased. This was mere accident; Swidhelm went lost all the time since he couldn’t follow a path properly, and looking for him meant they stumbled into several bullrushes. Hlothere was quick with a net.
Behind a ridge, Robin Hood and his gang kept watch over the guards’ odd behaviour.
“Is this a new trick by the sheriff?” Will asked.
“Your guess is as good as mine,” said Robin. “But we ought to show them who rule the forest, don’t you think?” he added with a grin. “MY GANG, THIS WAY!” he shouted and the others followed.
Five guards ran for their lives until Swidhelm collided with a smaller tree. Hlothere was quick with the net.
“Oh NO!” cried Much. “The pigeon tree! NOW what are we gonna have for dinner tonight!?”
Title: A bird in the hand
Rating: PG
Word count: 122
Characters: Five guards, the sheriff, Sir Guy. Mentions Robin and, in a way, Marian.
Pairings: Vague Guy/Marian.
Prompts: Guards
Disclaimer: Robin Hood is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.
The sheriff and his master-at-arms approached the fowler guards on horseback.
“Well, my pupils! Anything new for my aviary today? Hm?” Neither the guards or Sir Guy had ever seen the sheriff so jolly without any menace to accompany it. It was disturbingly odd.
“Ay, mylord!” they answered, embarrassed.
“Aaaahh, what is it then? A mavis or some willow tits to delight ny master-at-arms? Or perhaps a big, bearded Robin, finally?”
“Nah, mylord. Some pigeons.”
“PIGEONS!” yelled the sheriff. “NO pigeons, you fools! What do I need pigeons for, they’re only good for outlaws’ palate and target practice!” Vasey glanced maliciously at Sir Guy. “Besides, Gisborne’s brought home a leper pigeon already!” he said and laughed evilly.
Sir Guy rolled his eyes.
~fin~
Written for rh_drabblefest
A/N: Title changed from Fowler Guards to Guards of a Feather, thanks to the brilliance of whatcatydidnext.
Title: Bird Course
Rating: G
Word count: 162
Characters/Pairings: Five guards and Guy. Marian flashing by. Very vague Guy/Marian.
Prompts: Guards; bird catchers, ye olde medieval night school, Guy. Guy; Marian.
Disclaimer: Robin Hood is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.
“So; you know your orders!” Sir Guy said resolutely. “The five of you sign up for the sheriff’s bird course.”
“Yes, mylord...” four of the guards muttered reluctantly.
“Eer...?” said Swidhelm questioningly. He had not been quite himself since the day in the dungoen, but he refrained from making silly name jokes.
Sir Guy crossed his arms across his chest. “What is it, Swidhelm?” he asked impatiantly.
“Whot birds?”
“Pardon?”
“Whot kind of birds and such, mylord?”
“Yeah!” Osfrid piped up. “Will it be, like, falconry and stuff?”
All guards looked at Sir Guy expectantly.
Sir Guy tilted his hip, raised his eyebrows and smirked enigmatically. Then he turned around and left, striding purposfully, straight forward over the yard. Just then, Lady Marian came swaggering from his left, and Sir Guy immediately changed direction.
“Oi!” said Eadbald, “I’d rather take his bird course myself.” The other guards nodded in agreement, Swidhelm nodded from side to side instead; yet another side effect.
Title: Fowl
Rating: G
Word count: 147
Characters/Pairings: Five guards and Vasey.
Prompts: Vasey; birds, birdsong. Guards; bird catchers, ye olde medieval night school.
Disclaimer: Robin Hood is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.
Five guards stood in the yard, watching with expectation as the sheriff skipped down the stairs while servants and other guards carried out his bird cages.
“Pupils, my dear pupils!” the sheriff exclaimed, stretching out his arms. “Welcome to your first lesson! You need to know all about the birds of Sherwood Forest to get me what I want! Think of birds as... little outlaws! Bring them in, catch them for your sheriff’s delight and amusement! Listen to their beauuuuutifuuul birdsong; especially when they’re caged and hungry!”
“Now THIS is a ROBIN!” shouted the sheriff in a voice bordering between triumph and madness while he held up a cage. “Catch all you can of these! All of them, in fact! The bigger, the better!”
None of the sheriff’s birds of prey were taken out. This was obviously not about falconry at all.
“That was foul,” said Wictred.
Title: Birds of a feather
Rating: PG
Word count: 160
Characters: Five guards, Robin Hood, Much, Will and the rest of the gang.
Prompts: Guards; bird catchers, lost in the forest, ineptitude. Robin; "here I come to save the day!" Outlaws; food fight.
Disclaimer: Robin Hood is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.
Out in the forest, the five newly-educated guards scurried the trees. They were still not sure what Ye Olde Medieval Night Schooling in Fowlery was about. Outlaws? Decoys? Or just birds? Meanwhile, they did catch a lot of nice birds and the sheriff seemed pleased. This was mere accident; Swidhelm went lost all the time since he couldn’t follow a path properly, and looking for him meant they stumbled into several bullrushes. Hlothere was quick with a net.
Behind a ridge, Robin Hood and his gang kept watch over the guards’ odd behaviour.
“Is this a new trick by the sheriff?” Will asked.
“Your guess is as good as mine,” said Robin. “But we ought to show them who rule the forest, don’t you think?” he added with a grin. “MY GANG, THIS WAY!” he shouted and the others followed.
Five guards ran for their lives until Swidhelm collided with a smaller tree. Hlothere was quick with the net.
“Oh NO!” cried Much. “The pigeon tree! NOW what are we gonna have for dinner tonight!?”
Title: A bird in the hand
Rating: PG
Word count: 122
Characters: Five guards, the sheriff, Sir Guy. Mentions Robin and, in a way, Marian.
Pairings: Vague Guy/Marian.
Prompts: Guards
Disclaimer: Robin Hood is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.
The sheriff and his master-at-arms approached the fowler guards on horseback.
“Well, my pupils! Anything new for my aviary today? Hm?” Neither the guards or Sir Guy had ever seen the sheriff so jolly without any menace to accompany it. It was disturbingly odd.
“Ay, mylord!” they answered, embarrassed.
“Aaaahh, what is it then? A mavis or some willow tits to delight ny master-at-arms? Or perhaps a big, bearded Robin, finally?”
“Nah, mylord. Some pigeons.”
“PIGEONS!” yelled the sheriff. “NO pigeons, you fools! What do I need pigeons for, they’re only good for outlaws’ palate and target practice!” Vasey glanced maliciously at Sir Guy. “Besides, Gisborne’s brought home a leper pigeon already!” he said and laughed evilly.
Sir Guy rolled his eyes.
~fin~