You are absolutely horrible. For once, just once, could you post a chapter of Checkmarks without saying something about how it isn't the best, or you did it really quickly so it isn't that good? Okay, I'm finally seeing the significance (or some of the significance) of the title. I was wondering where it came from, but now I feel less clueless. So Jessi's life is in checkmarks and the lack of checkmarks. Interesting. Painting seems to be her way of releasing emotion, so the picture she does of herself and Mayer only makes sense. It's interesting that the stairs were scraped off and now they're "trapped"...foreshadow? I see how Jessi maybe considers herself trapped, so being trapped with Mayer could turn out to be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on how they're trapped. If that makes sense. I loved the bit about perfection. That does so much for Jessi's character, those few short paragraphs. She's dealing with someone seeking perfection, but she believes perfection lies in a person's flaws. How can she get along with her father with such radically different views? Whenever she finds perfection, it isn't to him. When she feels she's done something good with her life, he won't feel the same way. It seems like her issue is largely going to be struggling to accept that she's going to have to live without her father's approval to do what she dreams. She loves him because of his flaws, but he loves her because, to him, he's working on her perfection. She is potential. She could become perfection, so he has to nurture that. And...I'm going on again. I've exhausted my comments, but I would say do a read over...I noticed one or two typos. Nothing major - I didn't even catch them first time through, but I would do a short edit. And I'm done now. It was a good chapter. I really liked this one, actually, particularly the last couple of paragraphs...but I already mentioned that in detail. : )
okay, i know i always always say that, but i meant it especially with this chapter. for some reason it was really hard for me to write. some sections of it i've had done for weeks, others got thrown in today. so i think that's why i have quite a few grammatical errors, which i will go and fix... some parts i even combined sentences and all that.
but you really seem to get exactly what i want out of the story... and i figured i would wait awhile to introduce the checkmarks thing so it didn't seem so obvious. i hope that was okay.
thanks, as always for the comments! yours always rock!
I'm glad I'm picking up on things...it makes me feel better as a reader/critique-y person. ^_^ And yes - introducing the checkmarks system a little into the story makes perfect sense. Of course it's "okay" - it makes sense where you put it in, and it didn't need to be explained at any point before that. Anyway...you're perfectly welcome for the comments. I enjoy reading it, really, and if I have to slow down reading anything I have time to think, and wonder about what will happen...so with yours I have to wonder, and that's where the comments come from. I just hope I'm being helpful, and I'm glad they "rock". ^_^
noooooooooo i had a whole comment, and now i think it's gone. fine then. i'll try to re-type it. stupid computer. next i'm going to find out it really didn't delete it, and i typed all this for nothing. okay here goes. again.
i love that our comments are always longer than the actual posts. i don't know why, i just think that's really cool. i know in this case it's because the chapter is longer, but still. i love being able to look back and read what all my friends said.
and i'm glad you're okay with waiting a little longer. you're definitely good at noticing the subtleties more. did i spell that right . . . ? lol. probably not. but anyway. i still don't feel like my slump is over. the only reason i got this chapter up was becauuse i had a (basic) outline in my head of the story, and this plotline was very very essential to the rest of the story. *sigh* i want to write the rest so badly. for some reason, it just won't come. oddly enough, i think it's because i actually really, really like all of my characters and i don't want to screw this up for them. if that makes any sense.
i just have to add (to prove you wrong, lol!) chapter 4... when i posted the link (it's still at the bottom of the page) i didn't say anything about it being bad, or whatever. i just said that i had writer's block. although looking back, i only had writer's block for the first few paragraphs. it went away! i wish that had happened this time...
Sure it makes sense. Characters are like people - I've spent more time with Arienne than with anybody else in the world, and I'm ridiculously fond of her. I'm a sucker for happy endings myself, and I imagine I'd feel more guilt about putting her through what she has to go through if I didn't know that it will end (not necessarily happily) but in a manner I feel is appropriate, and not too hard on her. But yes - it is hard to screw up their lives. You just have to be mean, Anni! Get evil! I'm really intrigued about what you'll be screwing up for them...hm...when are you putting up more? If you ever need somebody to bounce plot lines off, or something, I'm here, and I love talking about writing (as you've probably already guessed ^_^).
haha, it's okay i love talking about it too! obviously. i'll probably actually write another chapter by saturday. i want to leave myself saturday for all that harry potter-ness. there's kinda something in my head that has to happen with the plot, and i'm not sure if i want to put it yet. it's quite a major thing with jess's dad, so i don't want to put it in too early. i think i need to add something in to make him nicer, plus i need another chapter more focused on posie and/or mayer. i think. i don't know. i feel weird if i go too long on one storyline, if that makes any sense. has ANY of this made sense? sorry. i think only i know what i'm talking about. i just don't want to give anything away prematurely. but it actually HAS helped me sort out my thoughts, which is always good. lol.
Okay, I'm finally seeing the significance (or some of the significance) of the title. I was wondering where it came from, but now I feel less clueless. So Jessi's life is in checkmarks and the lack of checkmarks. Interesting.
Painting seems to be her way of releasing emotion, so the picture she does of herself and Mayer only makes sense. It's interesting that the stairs were scraped off and now they're "trapped"...foreshadow? I see how Jessi maybe considers herself trapped, so being trapped with Mayer could turn out to be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on how they're trapped. If that makes sense.
I loved the bit about perfection. That does so much for Jessi's character, those few short paragraphs. She's dealing with someone seeking perfection, but she believes perfection lies in a person's flaws. How can she get along with her father with such radically different views? Whenever she finds perfection, it isn't to him. When she feels she's done something good with her life, he won't feel the same way. It seems like her issue is largely going to be struggling to accept that she's going to have to live without her father's approval to do what she dreams. She loves him because of his flaws, but he loves her because, to him, he's working on her perfection. She is potential. She could become perfection, so he has to nurture that.
And...I'm going on again. I've exhausted my comments, but I would say do a read over...I noticed one or two typos. Nothing major - I didn't even catch them first time through, but I would do a short edit. And I'm done now. It was a good chapter. I really liked this one, actually, particularly the last couple of paragraphs...but I already mentioned that in detail. : )
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but you really seem to get exactly what i want out of the story... and i figured i would wait awhile to introduce the checkmarks thing so it didn't seem so obvious. i hope that was okay.
thanks, as always for the comments! yours always rock!
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i love that our comments are always longer than the actual posts. i don't know why, i just think that's really cool. i know in this case it's because the chapter is longer, but still. i love being able to look back and read what all my friends said.
and i'm glad you're okay with waiting a little longer. you're definitely good at noticing the subtleties more. did i spell that right . . . ? lol. probably not. but anyway. i still don't feel like my slump is over. the only reason i got this chapter up was becauuse i had a (basic) outline in my head of the story, and this plotline was very very essential to the rest of the story. *sigh* i want to write the rest so badly. for some reason, it just won't come. oddly enough, i think it's because i actually really, really like all of my characters and i don't want to screw this up for them. if that makes any sense.
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