You're not pathetic, you're just suffering from what sounds like a severe case of the dreaded Writer's Block. So you go back to the old, comfortable writings you have. I was terrible about that - I'd hardly write anything new, just go back and stare at my old chapters. I finally found inspiration, though, and I've been cranking off pages at an embarrassing rate. (Yes, I do have a life outside of writing...I do!) It's okay! I think you're worrying about it too much. When you can write, you'll write... I get hung up on names all the time. : P I would just use Jessi, if it fits, no matter where else you've used it.
If you think sitting down and just writing will lead to something written as if you were the character, pretend you're the character. It sounds cheesy, I know, but it's that walk a mile in their shoes thing. I really do think your biggest problem is that you're stressing over this - and you're entitled to, but try and step back from it for a bit. Don't try and force yourself too much. If the words aren't coming out, then take a break. There's no time schedule for writing it! It's yours; you can do whatever you want with it. You're in control, even if you feel stuck.
Whoo! Thanks but by the time I read your comment, I already have some 384 words written . . . yes, not much, but I have my whole first chapter planned out. Yeah, the rest of the story is still slightly in the dark, but I have my character. And yeah, her name is Jessi. Yep, I'm a loser, but I don't care anymore, because I've officially started . . .
If you think sitting down and just writing will lead to something written as if you were the character, pretend you're the character. It sounds cheesy, I know, but it's that walk a mile in their shoes thing. I really do think your biggest problem is that you're stressing over this - and you're entitled to, but try and step back from it for a bit. Don't try and force yourself too much. If the words aren't coming out, then take a break. There's no time schedule for writing it! It's yours; you can do whatever you want with it. You're in control, even if you feel stuck.
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