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I haven't updated in forever. I have a lot to say, but I won't. It's cold and i'm loving it. Well i just wanted to update with a song. I like it becuase of MEMORIES, that's about all I have to say about it. Listen to it. I'm scared to get off probation cause I wont' have anythign to worry about and I won't have anything to stop me from doing things
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I will miss you more than you'd ever know.
It is so odd, we've been in each other's lives for so long, but in such small ways...
we met in 7th grade, at that damned youth group. In the summer, our little group (You, Lindsay, Daniel, AJ, me) went to NASA and Astroworld in Daniel's mom's van.
do you remember?
Freshman year, our same group sat at lunch together everyday for the first semester. You'd always play that one APC song, and I taught Lindsay Chick Magnet, and she played it everyday...
That year I entered a guitar playing contest at Guitar Center, and you just happened to be there when I played. You were my only friend there. You said you wanted this guitar:
remember?
Sophomore year I sat behind you in Chemistry. I tore out letters from someone's sophomore council campaign sticker and spelt your name with them. You stuck them to your red binder. I felt special.
That year I tried to set you and Joe up, but I guess it wasn't met to happen. To tell you the truth, I was kinda jealous that you liked Joe.
You asked "Is my hair straight?" everyday.
and it always was.
This year I got to sit next to you in guitar class (well, on days you felt like coming to class). It was fun, you would read your book of "emo" poems, playing that guitar you "borrowed" from Lindsay and always talking to Selena about some guy who is "so hott". Thanks again for letting me use your phone all those times.
...
They called you a "projectile", and I don't know if this is appropriate or not, but when Brian and I heard that, we couldn't help but laugh. You're so tall and thin, you must have been like an arrow in the air. Its so tragic, I know, but the mental picture was funny
I guess you can consider yourself lucky, the rest of us have to grow old and ugly, but in our memories, you will be young and beautiful forever.
you are so beautiful, really.
things that always remind me of you:
orange juice
Jamie Lee Curtis
Thursday
you know why.
It hasn't hit me yet, that you're not coming back, that "Kayla" is over, but I'm sure it will soon. Maybe when I can't say hi to you and Jilayne in the halls everyday, or when I go to 7th period and sit next to your empty chair.
I promise I won't steal your seat.
I will miss you so much,
Wherever you are now, I know you're ok.
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And like you said, Kayla and Jilayne are ok now. They are watching over each and every one of us, reading these entries and wishing we did not have to feel this pain. And just remember, that when you go back to school, that chair won't be empty. You may not see Kayla, but she will be sitting right next to you, playing guitar with you.
Both she and Jilayne will be with all of us at school, walking us to our classes, watching over us, and holding our hands the whole way. And you're right, they will live in our memories as young, beautiful, and carefree. We will not have to remember them as bitter, cruel, or ugly, because that isn't who they were. I know Kayla got into her share of trouble, but I can't say I didn't admire her for being so carefree. That is something I could never say for myself, and I will always remember and admire those qualities she possessed.
Neither she nor Jilayne will ever have to deal with the pains of adulthood, and we will be able to remember them as they were a few days ago..Young, free, and beautiful.
Candace
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Love,
Lisette
Remember they are there with you, every step, every troubled time that arises they are with you now.
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