"What If" Challenge
Title: Meet Me In The Light, Part 2
Author: gorenrocks
Rating: T
Genre: Angst
Characters: Goren/Eames/Deakins (for now)
Summary: What Alex's request for a new partner went through?
Warnings: A "What If" Challenge Story, so it is A/U
Spoilers: Just in case, first season up to Homo Homini Lupis (The Maggie Colter Case)
Meet Me In The Light Part 2
gorenrocks
Alex leaned against the wall next to the door to Captain Deakins’ office, listening to the rise and fall of muffled voices, trying to gauge the volume, glean something to prepare her for what would come next: Facing her confused partner.
She could hear no actual words; she could only discern the familiar tones and cadences of her colleagues - Bobby Goren and Jimmy Deakins. Finally she heard footsteps, and then quiet, and could take it no longer.
The wood felt cool against her knuckles when she rapped sharply on the office door. Not waiting for an answer, she opened it and looked around the room. Bobby stood with his jacket off and back toward her; his arms tightly folded and shoulders straining his shirt. Deakins sat at his desk; his head had been resting in one palm, but when she entered he raised it and immediately spoke.
“Alex, it’s not the time.”
Bobby turned and studied her. He unwrapped his arms and curled his hand around the back of his neck.
“No, it’s good…it’s great, a great time.” He stepped a bit closer. “Eames, why didn’t you talk to me? Talk to me about how you feel?”
Alex couldn’t remember feeling so sick about something she’d done, not since she was young and in trouble with her parents. She took a deep breath and smoothed her sleeveless black silk blouse over her black pants, and then met Bobby’s gaze full on.
“Bobby, at the time I handed in this request, I didn’t understand you. I--“
“No!” he shouted. “That’s not what I mean.”
Shocked by her usually calm partner’s outburst, adrenaline surged through her blood and Alex literally jumped.
Deakins instantly stood. “Bobby, calm down.”
“Okay, fair enough,” the big detective raised both hands, palms up, “I’m sorry. Captain, Eames.” he nodded toward Alex and then at Deakins, and then, his eyes became unfocused for a moment, and his voice became much softer. He added, “And, um, Eames, a call came in, while, uh, the Captain and I were talking. I think you should know.” After that he looked pointedly at the Captain.
“Oh, right. Thanks, Bobby.” Captain Deakins focused on Alex. “You’re cleared by internal affairs. The shooting of the kidnapper, no problems.”
“Thank you, Sir,” Alex replied, relieved, but her voice was shaking, and she turned to Goren. “Bobby,” she started.
“Eames, look, I know why you put in the request. Or… or maybe I don’t know, I just think I know, but why you did it-it’s not important to me. It happened. But why didn’t you talk to me about how you feel? We’re partners - why?”
“She was under no obligation to talk to you, Bobby. “
Bobby’s eyes widened and his lips parted, and there were a few beats of silence before Bobby could manage, “No… no obligation? “
“Bobby,” Alex tried again.
“Is that the official party line? The united front?” Bobby shouted.
“No!” she insisted.
“Goren,” Deakins warned.
Bobby nodded and held up one hand, but he quietly stepped closer to Alex until he was only inches away and she could feel his body heat. From the corner of her eye, she could see Deakins shift uncomfortably in his chair.
“For nearly three weeks after,” Bobby’s voice lowered, “… after, the request, we’ve worked together, covered each other’s backs, ready to die for each other if necessary” and at that his eyes bored into hers, “and I know I’m right about that.”
Alex pulled her fist to her mouth; silently, she nodded, yes.
The big man tilted his head so that his face was level with hers. “But during all those hours we spent together, you couldn’t find any time, and didn’t see any reason, to talk to me about this.”
Alex could only close her eyes and hold on to the back of the chair for support.
“I’ve had more than enough of this.” Captain Deakins’ stern voice startled both of them; Deakins now stood behind his desk. “Goren, pull that chair to my desk and sit.
“Yes, Sir,” Bobby obeyed.
Alex,” he motioned to the chair already there, “have a seat.”
“Now lets get a few things straight,” Deakins began, shifting his gaze between his seated but anxious detectives. “The order went through and we have to comply with it - for now. That doesn’t mean it has to be permanent.”
Deakins waited a moment, and Alex tried to digest the bit of news. Maybe all was not lost! She glanced at Bobby, but he was staring down at his lap.
“Both of you listen to me. “ Bobby slouched, but shifted his eyes to his Captain’s face. Alex watched Deakins intently.
“Two weeks ago we had a temp worker come in, a secretary. She wanted a permanent position here and was eager - much too eager - to impress. Her first day here I was gone most the day. Apparently, she decided to organize my desk, and sent out everything in what she believed to be my inbox. Including Alex’s letter.
“Alex,” and he paused, and made a point to look directly at her, “I would have never sent that letter without speaking with you personally, and making absolutely sure you were certain about your decision. Do you understand that?”
“Yes, Sir.” Alex felt her body relax and the knots in her head untangled. Her relief was so powerful; she felt it was as if a cool, cleansing sea breeze drifted through room.
She watched Bobby, expecting possibly smile, or at least some kind of positive reaction, but there was nothing. He didn’t look at her or even look up; he sat still and acted bored.
“Bobby,” said Deakins.
“Yes, Captain.”
“Do you understand what I said? The request should not have been sent. The switch is a mistake. My secretary found out what the temp worker did, and she thought she corrected all the mistakes before any action was taken - they never told me what happened until after this approval came through and I hit the roof.”
“A mistake. Yeah.”
“Bobby?”
“I mean, a mistake, Sir.”
Confused, Alex looked at Deakins, who looked just as puzzled.
“Captain, if you don’t mind my asking, did you sign the request?” Alex asked.
Captain Deakins folded his arms. “Well that’s what I don’t quite understand. No, I didn’t sign it. I’m sure of it. I’m waiting to get back a copy of the original, but I don’t need that to know that I didn’t sign it. As I said, I was waiting to talk to you, Alex, before taking that action. I have to get to the bottom of this.”
Goren looked up, finally, and then at Alex. “Am I allowed to ask why now?”
“Wait, Bobby,” Deakins started.
“Please, Captain, let me try,” asked Alex. She took his silence as acquiesce. “Bobby, we were so busy, too busy. And then I changed my mind, but I kept forgetting to talk to the Captain, I just knew he wasn’t going to hand it in - and I was right! We’ll get it fixed.”
Bobby turned his head away from her, ignoring her, and addressed the Captain. “What do I have to do now?”
“Report to SVU on Monday. I’m working on this already.”
“Don’t bother.”
“What?” Alex and Deakins said together.
“I said don’t bother. She’s lying to me. I don’t trust her anymore.” Bobby stood. “And I need a week off. To get my head together. Can I do that? Please?”
“All right, Goren. But I want you to call in during the week. Let me know how you’re doing.”
“Thank you, Sir.”
“You can go. Finish up the paperwork tomorrow.”
As Bobby headed out of the office, Alex started to follow him.
“Alex.”
She turned. “Sir?”
“Stay,” the Captain told her, gently.
“But Captain!”
“Let him go. He won’t hear you now. Try later tonight, or tomorrow. Give him time to cool down.”
If I let him go, I might not ever get him back. Alex plopped down in the chair, elbows on the Captain’s desk, and rested her head in her hands. Her cheeks felt hot against her palms and she thought that if she lifted her head the room might start to spin out of control, just like her world tilted off the axis. She doubted anything would ever be normal again - the new normal with Bobby Goren that she had begun to grow quite fond of.
“Alex? Where are you?” Strong fingers grasped her small ones, tugging her hand, forcing her to lift her head. Smiling, the Captain squeezed her hand for just a moment, and then let go.
“He’s an intelligent man. Gifted, if you ask me. He’ll calm down, and come to understand.”
“How can he possibly understand something I don’t understand myself?”
The two were quiet. And then the Captain asked, “Why didn’t you talk to him, Alex?”
“I don’t know, Captain.” Alex sighed. “I don’t know."
~tbc
Author: gorenrocks
Rating: T
Genre: Angst
Characters: Goren/Eames/Deakins (for now)
Summary: What Alex's request for a new partner went through?
Warnings: A "What If" Challenge Story, so it is A/U
Spoilers: Just in case, first season up to Homo Homini Lupis (The Maggie Colter Case)
Meet Me In The Light Part 2
gorenrocks
Alex leaned against the wall next to the door to Captain Deakins’ office, listening to the rise and fall of muffled voices, trying to gauge the volume, glean something to prepare her for what would come next: Facing her confused partner.
She could hear no actual words; she could only discern the familiar tones and cadences of her colleagues - Bobby Goren and Jimmy Deakins. Finally she heard footsteps, and then quiet, and could take it no longer.
The wood felt cool against her knuckles when she rapped sharply on the office door. Not waiting for an answer, she opened it and looked around the room. Bobby stood with his jacket off and back toward her; his arms tightly folded and shoulders straining his shirt. Deakins sat at his desk; his head had been resting in one palm, but when she entered he raised it and immediately spoke.
“Alex, it’s not the time.”
Bobby turned and studied her. He unwrapped his arms and curled his hand around the back of his neck.
“No, it’s good…it’s great, a great time.” He stepped a bit closer. “Eames, why didn’t you talk to me? Talk to me about how you feel?”
Alex couldn’t remember feeling so sick about something she’d done, not since she was young and in trouble with her parents. She took a deep breath and smoothed her sleeveless black silk blouse over her black pants, and then met Bobby’s gaze full on.
“Bobby, at the time I handed in this request, I didn’t understand you. I--“
“No!” he shouted. “That’s not what I mean.”
Shocked by her usually calm partner’s outburst, adrenaline surged through her blood and Alex literally jumped.
Deakins instantly stood. “Bobby, calm down.”
“Okay, fair enough,” the big detective raised both hands, palms up, “I’m sorry. Captain, Eames.” he nodded toward Alex and then at Deakins, and then, his eyes became unfocused for a moment, and his voice became much softer. He added, “And, um, Eames, a call came in, while, uh, the Captain and I were talking. I think you should know.” After that he looked pointedly at the Captain.
“Oh, right. Thanks, Bobby.” Captain Deakins focused on Alex. “You’re cleared by internal affairs. The shooting of the kidnapper, no problems.”
“Thank you, Sir,” Alex replied, relieved, but her voice was shaking, and she turned to Goren. “Bobby,” she started.
“Eames, look, I know why you put in the request. Or… or maybe I don’t know, I just think I know, but why you did it-it’s not important to me. It happened. But why didn’t you talk to me about how you feel? We’re partners - why?”
“She was under no obligation to talk to you, Bobby. “
Bobby’s eyes widened and his lips parted, and there were a few beats of silence before Bobby could manage, “No… no obligation? “
“Bobby,” Alex tried again.
“Is that the official party line? The united front?” Bobby shouted.
“No!” she insisted.
“Goren,” Deakins warned.
Bobby nodded and held up one hand, but he quietly stepped closer to Alex until he was only inches away and she could feel his body heat. From the corner of her eye, she could see Deakins shift uncomfortably in his chair.
“For nearly three weeks after,” Bobby’s voice lowered, “… after, the request, we’ve worked together, covered each other’s backs, ready to die for each other if necessary” and at that his eyes bored into hers, “and I know I’m right about that.”
Alex pulled her fist to her mouth; silently, she nodded, yes.
The big man tilted his head so that his face was level with hers. “But during all those hours we spent together, you couldn’t find any time, and didn’t see any reason, to talk to me about this.”
Alex could only close her eyes and hold on to the back of the chair for support.
“I’ve had more than enough of this.” Captain Deakins’ stern voice startled both of them; Deakins now stood behind his desk. “Goren, pull that chair to my desk and sit.
“Yes, Sir,” Bobby obeyed.
Alex,” he motioned to the chair already there, “have a seat.”
“Now lets get a few things straight,” Deakins began, shifting his gaze between his seated but anxious detectives. “The order went through and we have to comply with it - for now. That doesn’t mean it has to be permanent.”
Deakins waited a moment, and Alex tried to digest the bit of news. Maybe all was not lost! She glanced at Bobby, but he was staring down at his lap.
“Both of you listen to me. “ Bobby slouched, but shifted his eyes to his Captain’s face. Alex watched Deakins intently.
“Two weeks ago we had a temp worker come in, a secretary. She wanted a permanent position here and was eager - much too eager - to impress. Her first day here I was gone most the day. Apparently, she decided to organize my desk, and sent out everything in what she believed to be my inbox. Including Alex’s letter.
“Alex,” and he paused, and made a point to look directly at her, “I would have never sent that letter without speaking with you personally, and making absolutely sure you were certain about your decision. Do you understand that?”
“Yes, Sir.” Alex felt her body relax and the knots in her head untangled. Her relief was so powerful; she felt it was as if a cool, cleansing sea breeze drifted through room.
She watched Bobby, expecting possibly smile, or at least some kind of positive reaction, but there was nothing. He didn’t look at her or even look up; he sat still and acted bored.
“Bobby,” said Deakins.
“Yes, Captain.”
“Do you understand what I said? The request should not have been sent. The switch is a mistake. My secretary found out what the temp worker did, and she thought she corrected all the mistakes before any action was taken - they never told me what happened until after this approval came through and I hit the roof.”
“A mistake. Yeah.”
“Bobby?”
“I mean, a mistake, Sir.”
Confused, Alex looked at Deakins, who looked just as puzzled.
“Captain, if you don’t mind my asking, did you sign the request?” Alex asked.
Captain Deakins folded his arms. “Well that’s what I don’t quite understand. No, I didn’t sign it. I’m sure of it. I’m waiting to get back a copy of the original, but I don’t need that to know that I didn’t sign it. As I said, I was waiting to talk to you, Alex, before taking that action. I have to get to the bottom of this.”
Goren looked up, finally, and then at Alex. “Am I allowed to ask why now?”
“Wait, Bobby,” Deakins started.
“Please, Captain, let me try,” asked Alex. She took his silence as acquiesce. “Bobby, we were so busy, too busy. And then I changed my mind, but I kept forgetting to talk to the Captain, I just knew he wasn’t going to hand it in - and I was right! We’ll get it fixed.”
Bobby turned his head away from her, ignoring her, and addressed the Captain. “What do I have to do now?”
“Report to SVU on Monday. I’m working on this already.”
“Don’t bother.”
“What?” Alex and Deakins said together.
“I said don’t bother. She’s lying to me. I don’t trust her anymore.” Bobby stood. “And I need a week off. To get my head together. Can I do that? Please?”
“All right, Goren. But I want you to call in during the week. Let me know how you’re doing.”
“Thank you, Sir.”
“You can go. Finish up the paperwork tomorrow.”
As Bobby headed out of the office, Alex started to follow him.
“Alex.”
She turned. “Sir?”
“Stay,” the Captain told her, gently.
“But Captain!”
“Let him go. He won’t hear you now. Try later tonight, or tomorrow. Give him time to cool down.”
If I let him go, I might not ever get him back. Alex plopped down in the chair, elbows on the Captain’s desk, and rested her head in her hands. Her cheeks felt hot against her palms and she thought that if she lifted her head the room might start to spin out of control, just like her world tilted off the axis. She doubted anything would ever be normal again - the new normal with Bobby Goren that she had begun to grow quite fond of.
“Alex? Where are you?” Strong fingers grasped her small ones, tugging her hand, forcing her to lift her head. Smiling, the Captain squeezed her hand for just a moment, and then let go.
“He’s an intelligent man. Gifted, if you ask me. He’ll calm down, and come to understand.”
“How can he possibly understand something I don’t understand myself?”
The two were quiet. And then the Captain asked, “Why didn’t you talk to him, Alex?”
“I don’t know, Captain.” Alex sighed. “I don’t know."
~tbc