31 days blog challenge; day 1.
I'm not exactly sure how this is going to turn out. I am a living disaster when it comes to livejournal and posting regular entries. Nonetheless, I thought a meme would be a nice way to settle back into blogging. The fact that two members of my f-list (1stepcl0ser & theviolonist) are doing it at the moment was the little push I needed, well, I just hope doing this is as fun as reading it.
1. Introduction and recent photo
This is a picture from this week, so the most recent I have. Well, hello everyone.
Behind thunggyu is Céline. I am 23 and will turn 24 before the year ends, on December 21st. I live in northern France, near Belgium. Always have but can't say I always will.
In a few words, I am a quite short person (around 1m51/5 feet) with quite a temper. I sometimes feel like I have two persons inside of me: a really nice, friendly one and a more darker - jealous, greedy - one. I haven't figured out if this was normal or if I was just abnormal.
I am currently in my final year of college (for the second time) majoring in secondary education with minors in history and geography (they go together in this case which sucks). If internships and my final dissertation don't kill me, I might graduate on June 2014. The irony is that I don't find any pleasure in teaching and certainly have no intention of teach. I'm not a bad teacher per se (blame my perfectionist side).
I have always been a good student - calm, studious - because I love learning. I have this problem though; I only do well on courses I like. This caused me to repeat my junior year of high school, I was failing too many classes (math, dutch, spanish and p.e ;;).
After graduating, I thought I would do what I loved and enrolled myself in an English degree. Dropped out after a few months because I didn't think my English skills were enough... and I had this fear of speaking English in front of people (still have it, somewhat). I went even crazier, moved 7 hours away from my home to learn Korean. It ended up with me going back home after a month. I don't know if I just wasn't ready or it it just wasn't for me. I don't regret it though (I try to).
Talking about Korea, kpop has been my main fandom for years now. Not always with the same intensity but I have always been there. Thanks to it, I managed to meet tons of wonderful people. I also managed to get heartbreaks over ruined friendships. Overall, you better not get too involved in it because this shit is crazy.
I went to South Korea two times, 6 weeks in total and I am dreaming of going again. Someday, maybe. I might be going to Prague and Vienna this summer with my two close friends, Alizée and Pauline. Loveliest girls ever and probably the only two real friends I have irl. Sad, I know.
I am healing (or so I believe) from depression. It hit me hard around the beginning of 2013 and I realize healing is no easy feat. There are days I am still struggling a lot but thankfully, I am not alone, no thanks to my family though.
Family... it's complicated. I have parents who I believe should have separated long ago. I also have a mom who has unresolved childhood issues but isn't ready to confront them. All of this makes my home a really... difficult place to be, sometimes. I can't say at 100% they don't love us (my sister - she's 20 - and I) but I wouldn't be surprised to find out it's the truth.
I'm not getting love from a boyfriend either, I have been single since birth. I was truly an unattractive child and teenager. I only managed to somewhat look decent recently and even then, a short girl with a slight fat body isn't exactly appealing. I don't really mind to be honest.
That's it, I guess? I am truly nothing special. An average girl with issues.
1. Introduction and recent photo
This is a picture from this week, so the most recent I have. Well, hello everyone.
Behind thunggyu is Céline. I am 23 and will turn 24 before the year ends, on December 21st. I live in northern France, near Belgium. Always have but can't say I always will.
In a few words, I am a quite short person (around 1m51/5 feet) with quite a temper. I sometimes feel like I have two persons inside of me: a really nice, friendly one and a more darker - jealous, greedy - one. I haven't figured out if this was normal or if I was just abnormal.
I am currently in my final year of college (for the second time) majoring in secondary education with minors in history and geography (they go together in this case which sucks). If internships and my final dissertation don't kill me, I might graduate on June 2014. The irony is that I don't find any pleasure in teaching and certainly have no intention of teach. I'm not a bad teacher per se (blame my perfectionist side).
I have always been a good student - calm, studious - because I love learning. I have this problem though; I only do well on courses I like. This caused me to repeat my junior year of high school, I was failing too many classes (math, dutch, spanish and p.e ;;).
After graduating, I thought I would do what I loved and enrolled myself in an English degree. Dropped out after a few months because I didn't think my English skills were enough... and I had this fear of speaking English in front of people (still have it, somewhat). I went even crazier, moved 7 hours away from my home to learn Korean. It ended up with me going back home after a month. I don't know if I just wasn't ready or it it just wasn't for me. I don't regret it though (I try to).
Talking about Korea, kpop has been my main fandom for years now. Not always with the same intensity but I have always been there. Thanks to it, I managed to meet tons of wonderful people. I also managed to get heartbreaks over ruined friendships. Overall, you better not get too involved in it because this shit is crazy.
I went to South Korea two times, 6 weeks in total and I am dreaming of going again. Someday, maybe. I might be going to Prague and Vienna this summer with my two close friends, Alizée and Pauline. Loveliest girls ever and probably the only two real friends I have irl. Sad, I know.
I am healing (or so I believe) from depression. It hit me hard around the beginning of 2013 and I realize healing is no easy feat. There are days I am still struggling a lot but thankfully, I am not alone, no thanks to my family though.
Family... it's complicated. I have parents who I believe should have separated long ago. I also have a mom who has unresolved childhood issues but isn't ready to confront them. All of this makes my home a really... difficult place to be, sometimes. I can't say at 100% they don't love us (my sister - she's 20 - and I) but I wouldn't be surprised to find out it's the truth.
I'm not getting love from a boyfriend either, I have been single since birth. I was truly an unattractive child and teenager. I only managed to somewhat look decent recently and even then, a short girl with a slight fat body isn't exactly appealing. I don't really mind to be honest.
That's it, I guess? I am truly nothing special. An average girl with issues.