The Fandom Bicycles
Title: The Fandom Bicycles
Pairings: Kyuhyun/everyone, Jaejoong (DBSK)/everyone, Kyuhyun/Jaejoong
Rating: R
Word count: 1,011
Summary: Kyuhyun and Jaejoong make a bet as to who can fuck more people in Kpop.
A/N: Prompted by hyungdeul in kpopficwangst 6.0. Pure crack.
___
It starts off as nothing more than a drunken dare, but Jaejoong quickly realises Kyuhyun is dead serious about this, as he is about all his games from Starcraft to Final Fantasy. He discovers this when, 5 minutes after agreeing on the dare, he spies Kyuhyun dragging Changmin into the men's room. Kyuhyun comes out half an hour later with a satisfied smirk, and walks past Jaejoong, index finger pointing up. One.
Jaejoong slams his drink down on the counter in fury. Kyuhyun has the nerve to move in on his band when he already has an unfair advantage, with 14 boys?
He looks around and sees Kyuhyun engaging Yoochun in conversation, at a dark corner of the club, and Kyuhyun's fingers are already skating lazily over Yoochun's hip as they talk. Gritting his teeth, he swings around and stomps over to the nearest Super Junior member he can see, who happens to be a drunk Kangin.
No matter. The drunker he is, the easier it is for Jaejoong.
___
Jaejoong wastes no time in hunting Kyuhyun down after he'd left Kangin sleeping in one of the private rooms and sucked Heechul off in the bathroom.
"Two," he calls out triumphantly, and Kyuhyun only smirks at him.
"Only two?" he says lazily. "Four for me, already."
Jaejoong's jaw drops. "What the fuck."
Kyuhyun ticks off his fingers as he speaks. "Changmin, down. Yoochun, down. Sungmin, down. Henry, down." He quirks an eyebrow at Jaejoong. "Learn to be fast like me, hyung."
Jaejoong is furious, but Kyuhyun only laughs at him, chucking his chin, before striding away with a loud, "By the way, I didn't wash my hand after Henry."
"Fuck you," Jaejoong screams across the dance floor.
___
Kyuhyun really is fast - much faster than Jaejoong expects. It's Day 4 of their dare, and Kyuhyun's already taken Kibum - all three Kibums, in fact, from Super Junior, SHINee, and U-Kiss - as well as Chansung, TOP, G-Dragon, and Siwon.
Jaejoong, for his part, has claimed only Junsu (he hasn't managed to contact Junsu from 2 PM yet - he makes a mental note to get to him quickly, before Kyuhyun can), Yunho, Ryeowook, and Yesung. When they meet at a cafe to compare notes and figures, he finds himself humiliated as Kyuhyun proudly scrawls a large number "11" under his name in their tally book, next to Jaejoong's own small "6".
"You're a slut, Kyuhyun," he says with more than a hint of jealousy.
"Comes in handy for games like these," Kyuhyun says flippantly. "You might want to speed up, hyung, I'm sure you're not this useless."
"I would," Jaejoong grumbles. "But I needed a break after Yesung, all right."
Kyuhyun grins. "That's why I left him for you."
"You son of a bitch, my ass was in pain for hours," Jaejoong snarls at him, and Kyuhyun laughs hard.
___
It's Day 8, and Kyuhyun has taken only Onew, Junho, and Donghae because he was struck by an unfortunate bout of flu. This gives Jaejoong time to catch up; while Kyuhyun's confined to his bed yelling obscenities at his life, his nose stuffed and voice hoarse, Jaejoong triumphantly claims 2 PM's Junsu and Taecyeon, together with Hankyung, Leeteuk, Zhou Mi, Minho, and Jonghyun. He stops at Taemin though; that's something he really can't bear to do, dare or no dare.
"13 to your 14," Jaejoong tells Kyuhyun over the phone, and is answered by a growl.
"Once I'm back on my feet, I will wipe out your 13."
"Do your fucking worst," Jaejoong says, and hangs up. He stares at his phone for a moment, contemplating if his mouth is too sore for today, and then decides, screw it, this dare is more important than his damned mouth.
He dials a number quickly, and smiles when the other person picks up. "Hey, Hyukjae, are you free now? Junsu says he wants to meet."
He turns up for his meeting with Hyukjae with no Junsu in tow, but a very big grin, and before long he's able to tell Kyuhyun that he's now on the same number as him, and that he left Hyukjae jelly-legged and unable to walk properly.
___
Day 10, the last day of their dare, sees them in Jaejoong's apartment, comparing notes. The final count is 18 to Kyuhyun and 17 to Jaejoong, and it makes Jaejoong hurl their tally book to the ground in frustration. He can't even swear to make himself feel better, because his mouth is hurting so much from all the sucking he's been doing, and the only consolation he's gaining is that Kyuhyun looks in worse shape than he does, lips swollen and bruised and walking with a noticeable duck-footed gait, grimacing with every step.
"I won this round, then," Kyuhyun said, grinning even through his discomfort, and as Jaejoong stares at him, wondering if he ought to hit him, an idea takes shape in his mind.
"No," he says. "No, I'd say it's a tie."
"How can it be a tie - oof."
Jaejoong's pushed him down on the couch and straddled him, kissing him furiously, and almost before he knows it he has Kyuhyun's legs hitched to his shoulders and Kyuhyun's moans in his ears and Kyuhyun's cock in his hand, as he fucks him roughly and quickly and hard and good, until he's coming all over himself, and Jaejoong's hand, crying his name all the way.
Kyuhyun's breathing has barely slowed when Jaejoong looks down at him and says, triumph in his voice, "18 to me now too."
Kyuhyun blinks, then laughs through his gasps for breath, dragging a hand across his sweaty forehead. "That makes it 19 for me then, hyung. You still lose."
"Aw, fuck," Jaejoong swears, and Kyuhyun rolls over, laughing, unintelligible words streaming from his mouth, until Jaejoong punches him in the arm.
"Let's do this again," he says, his mouth set. "This time, we'll go for JE. I'm not losing to you, you brat."
Kyuhyun grins wickedly at him, eyes gleaming. "Bring it on."
Pairings: Kyuhyun/everyone, Jaejoong (DBSK)/everyone, Kyuhyun/Jaejoong
Rating: R
Word count: 1,011
Summary: Kyuhyun and Jaejoong make a bet as to who can fuck more people in Kpop.
A/N: Prompted by hyungdeul in kpopficwangst 6.0. Pure crack.
___
It starts off as nothing more than a drunken dare, but Jaejoong quickly realises Kyuhyun is dead serious about this, as he is about all his games from Starcraft to Final Fantasy. He discovers this when, 5 minutes after agreeing on the dare, he spies Kyuhyun dragging Changmin into the men's room. Kyuhyun comes out half an hour later with a satisfied smirk, and walks past Jaejoong, index finger pointing up. One.
Jaejoong slams his drink down on the counter in fury. Kyuhyun has the nerve to move in on his band when he already has an unfair advantage, with 14 boys?
He looks around and sees Kyuhyun engaging Yoochun in conversation, at a dark corner of the club, and Kyuhyun's fingers are already skating lazily over Yoochun's hip as they talk. Gritting his teeth, he swings around and stomps over to the nearest Super Junior member he can see, who happens to be a drunk Kangin.
No matter. The drunker he is, the easier it is for Jaejoong.
___
Jaejoong wastes no time in hunting Kyuhyun down after he'd left Kangin sleeping in one of the private rooms and sucked Heechul off in the bathroom.
"Two," he calls out triumphantly, and Kyuhyun only smirks at him.
"Only two?" he says lazily. "Four for me, already."
Jaejoong's jaw drops. "What the fuck."
Kyuhyun ticks off his fingers as he speaks. "Changmin, down. Yoochun, down. Sungmin, down. Henry, down." He quirks an eyebrow at Jaejoong. "Learn to be fast like me, hyung."
Jaejoong is furious, but Kyuhyun only laughs at him, chucking his chin, before striding away with a loud, "By the way, I didn't wash my hand after Henry."
"Fuck you," Jaejoong screams across the dance floor.
___
Kyuhyun really is fast - much faster than Jaejoong expects. It's Day 4 of their dare, and Kyuhyun's already taken Kibum - all three Kibums, in fact, from Super Junior, SHINee, and U-Kiss - as well as Chansung, TOP, G-Dragon, and Siwon.
Jaejoong, for his part, has claimed only Junsu (he hasn't managed to contact Junsu from 2 PM yet - he makes a mental note to get to him quickly, before Kyuhyun can), Yunho, Ryeowook, and Yesung. When they meet at a cafe to compare notes and figures, he finds himself humiliated as Kyuhyun proudly scrawls a large number "11" under his name in their tally book, next to Jaejoong's own small "6".
"You're a slut, Kyuhyun," he says with more than a hint of jealousy.
"Comes in handy for games like these," Kyuhyun says flippantly. "You might want to speed up, hyung, I'm sure you're not this useless."
"I would," Jaejoong grumbles. "But I needed a break after Yesung, all right."
Kyuhyun grins. "That's why I left him for you."
"You son of a bitch, my ass was in pain for hours," Jaejoong snarls at him, and Kyuhyun laughs hard.
___
It's Day 8, and Kyuhyun has taken only Onew, Junho, and Donghae because he was struck by an unfortunate bout of flu. This gives Jaejoong time to catch up; while Kyuhyun's confined to his bed yelling obscenities at his life, his nose stuffed and voice hoarse, Jaejoong triumphantly claims 2 PM's Junsu and Taecyeon, together with Hankyung, Leeteuk, Zhou Mi, Minho, and Jonghyun. He stops at Taemin though; that's something he really can't bear to do, dare or no dare.
"13 to your 14," Jaejoong tells Kyuhyun over the phone, and is answered by a growl.
"Once I'm back on my feet, I will wipe out your 13."
"Do your fucking worst," Jaejoong says, and hangs up. He stares at his phone for a moment, contemplating if his mouth is too sore for today, and then decides, screw it, this dare is more important than his damned mouth.
He dials a number quickly, and smiles when the other person picks up. "Hey, Hyukjae, are you free now? Junsu says he wants to meet."
He turns up for his meeting with Hyukjae with no Junsu in tow, but a very big grin, and before long he's able to tell Kyuhyun that he's now on the same number as him, and that he left Hyukjae jelly-legged and unable to walk properly.
___
Day 10, the last day of their dare, sees them in Jaejoong's apartment, comparing notes. The final count is 18 to Kyuhyun and 17 to Jaejoong, and it makes Jaejoong hurl their tally book to the ground in frustration. He can't even swear to make himself feel better, because his mouth is hurting so much from all the sucking he's been doing, and the only consolation he's gaining is that Kyuhyun looks in worse shape than he does, lips swollen and bruised and walking with a noticeable duck-footed gait, grimacing with every step.
"I won this round, then," Kyuhyun said, grinning even through his discomfort, and as Jaejoong stares at him, wondering if he ought to hit him, an idea takes shape in his mind.
"No," he says. "No, I'd say it's a tie."
"How can it be a tie - oof."
Jaejoong's pushed him down on the couch and straddled him, kissing him furiously, and almost before he knows it he has Kyuhyun's legs hitched to his shoulders and Kyuhyun's moans in his ears and Kyuhyun's cock in his hand, as he fucks him roughly and quickly and hard and good, until he's coming all over himself, and Jaejoong's hand, crying his name all the way.
Kyuhyun's breathing has barely slowed when Jaejoong looks down at him and says, triumph in his voice, "18 to me now too."
Kyuhyun blinks, then laughs through his gasps for breath, dragging a hand across his sweaty forehead. "That makes it 19 for me then, hyung. You still lose."
"Aw, fuck," Jaejoong swears, and Kyuhyun rolls over, laughing, unintelligible words streaming from his mouth, until Jaejoong punches him in the arm.
"Let's do this again," he says, his mouth set. "This time, we'll go for JE. I'm not losing to you, you brat."
Kyuhyun grins wickedly at him, eyes gleaming. "Bring it on."