(no subject)
I'm not sure what to think of Apple Cider weekend. As I'm sitting at work I miss it like crazy. I miss the atmosphere, all the people milling around, the buildings, the scenery, the memories. However, I'm not sure how I feel about it. Of course it was great to be back, great to relieve myself of the piles of stress that had been building up, but it didn't have the same feeling as the weekends used to. People are different than the people I knew orignally and it's hard to shake the feeling of seperation I feel from them. I suppose in a lot of ways I have a hard time dealing with change. Still, that doesn't change the fact that it's home, more of a home than anywhere else. The little time I spent there this weekend was excellent regardless.
In general, I can't seem to decide whether I'm happy of sad. There are moments when life seems wonderful and I'm content, then life goes right back to bland. There are even moments that arise in which I can't tell if they're innocent and nice, or pathetic and depressing. I'm also extremely unnerved by time. Somehow, it seems to be flying at me full force. Weeks go by like days and nothing changes. A forth of the school year is almost over, and though I'm that much closer to summer, that much closer to graduation, a large part of me wants it to slow down. There's that large part of me that want to give each moment in life its own consideration, because it's true when they say life is short. I want sleep, but even more so I'm looking forward to apple cider and donuts after our band concert.
In general, I can't seem to decide whether I'm happy of sad. There are moments when life seems wonderful and I'm content, then life goes right back to bland. There are even moments that arise in which I can't tell if they're innocent and nice, or pathetic and depressing. I'm also extremely unnerved by time. Somehow, it seems to be flying at me full force. Weeks go by like days and nothing changes. A forth of the school year is almost over, and though I'm that much closer to summer, that much closer to graduation, a large part of me wants it to slow down. There's that large part of me that want to give each moment in life its own consideration, because it's true when they say life is short. I want sleep, but even more so I'm looking forward to apple cider and donuts after our band concert.