(no subject)
I am having trouble knowing myself right now and would rather exist in a state of unconsciousness but can't manage to do that. Been feeling some intense depersonalization with all of this. Looking in the mirror and wondering who the hell that is.
I've been reading about iPhones and the app store for hours on end for a project I'm working on. The amount of money and resources being poured into the development of these sorts of things, as well as the pace at which this development is taking place is starting to really make my head spin. I'm not scared of the direction our world is headed technologically any more than I'm scared of anything else that is unknown. That is to say, if I didn't have a clue it wouldn't matter, but I've got an inkling of what it's going to be like and it's just enough to make me shit my pants with the lights on. We're going some very very very strange places. I think the world might be unrecognizable 20 years from now.
It makes me really happy to think that space flight will be affordable for normal people within my lifetime, though.
I miss photography. I don't like the idea of working in traditional journalism*. I don't think that I'm capable of investing myself in a career the way everyone around me expects me to. I value people more than financial success. I hate the fact that I've got a 16K (not huge with regard to most student loans, I know, but not pleasant to think about either) debt tying me to the material world and I've got no clue what I'm going to do to help me get rid of it. Panic attacks have increased in frequency lately. I've spent the past two months or so head-over-heels in love but then got my heart broken.
It's a shame that I only use this thing to vent. Those of you who only know me on livejournal have got such a skewed perspective on my life, but there's also a lot of truth that gets distilled here.
Hey-ho.
*as a sidenote, that's kind of a funny thing for me to say because the field is changing so rapidly before our eyes. But that goes hand in hand with the idea of technological development taking our society to very strange and unknown places, anyway. In any case, all that my professors have to say to their students these days is "we have no idea what journalism is going to look like five years from now. We have no clue what your jobs are going to consist of so we're trying to teach you along the lines of what we think maybe might happen, but since we're bunch of old farts you know the answer to that better than we do, probably." Then they chuckle and tell us stories about how much of a bitch it was to edit on typewriters and lay out newspapers by hand.
I've been reading about iPhones and the app store for hours on end for a project I'm working on. The amount of money and resources being poured into the development of these sorts of things, as well as the pace at which this development is taking place is starting to really make my head spin. I'm not scared of the direction our world is headed technologically any more than I'm scared of anything else that is unknown. That is to say, if I didn't have a clue it wouldn't matter, but I've got an inkling of what it's going to be like and it's just enough to make me shit my pants with the lights on. We're going some very very very strange places. I think the world might be unrecognizable 20 years from now.
It makes me really happy to think that space flight will be affordable for normal people within my lifetime, though.
I miss photography. I don't like the idea of working in traditional journalism*. I don't think that I'm capable of investing myself in a career the way everyone around me expects me to. I value people more than financial success. I hate the fact that I've got a 16K (not huge with regard to most student loans, I know, but not pleasant to think about either) debt tying me to the material world and I've got no clue what I'm going to do to help me get rid of it. Panic attacks have increased in frequency lately. I've spent the past two months or so head-over-heels in love but then got my heart broken.
It's a shame that I only use this thing to vent. Those of you who only know me on livejournal have got such a skewed perspective on my life, but there's also a lot of truth that gets distilled here.
Hey-ho.
*as a sidenote, that's kind of a funny thing for me to say because the field is changing so rapidly before our eyes. But that goes hand in hand with the idea of technological development taking our society to very strange and unknown places, anyway. In any case, all that my professors have to say to their students these days is "we have no idea what journalism is going to look like five years from now. We have no clue what your jobs are going to consist of so we're trying to teach you along the lines of what we think maybe might happen, but since we're bunch of old farts you know the answer to that better than we do, probably." Then they chuckle and tell us stories about how much of a bitch it was to edit on typewriters and lay out newspapers by hand.