Annual post Folk Fest post
Didn't do psychedelics but still lost mind. Am quite a bit happier and so so over this one friendship that includes some intimacies but is lacking in the conversation, so much.
Was that even coherent? I just want to feel heard if a friendship (with or without cuddles, etc) is going to continue. Like, when you tell me that you have a type of woman you're attracted to for the millionth time & I tell you that it gives me the heebie-jeebies, maybe express curiosity as to why? Or just ignore it, that's a really good approach too. (That was sarcasm, the last sentence.)
If you're wondering, I think it's creepy to have a type because when I fit someone's "type" I feel fetishized, rather than appreciated for my actual self. Anyway, LIST:
-Watching Belle Star, I suspected I might have begun to menstruate (I picked & brewed yarrow a few times, out there). I informed Siobhan of my suspicion and told her that it would be too tragic if I went to the portapotty to check and found I wasn't, and had missed any of the concert for naught. She said "so that would be worse than bleeding on your skirt?" I pointed out that the skirt was red and she offered to cover me with a blanket while I checked. Still no blood.
-Yesterday I had a 17 minute nap next to Kevin on a sleeping bag with a tarp loosely blocking the sun above us. I woke up laughing because my subconscious had told me the funniest joke ever: instead of apologizing by saying you're sorry or that you apologize, simply let loose a string of words. The first word is always 'hungry', like "Hungry. Lightning. Barnyard. Battleship. Warren."
- I ran into Boeseya, who I know from elementary school. She's been working with Dan for the last few months, archaeology outside T Bay, and is best friends with the woman Dan is seeing. She was able to confirm that the woman is a good person, which was so heartwarming to hear. I'm a bit shy to ask Dan about her, yet, but I'm glad that he's dating someone wonderful. ON THAT NOTE
-Adam is from Minnesota. I can't tell you how I knew we were flirting, as neither of us is very good at it, but he followed me into the outhouse by accident. We'd been walking for a few minutes, in the dark, talking, and I hadn't said "and here is the outhouse I am going to use" so he just came in with me. I turned and said "I think I would like to go to the outhouse by myself" and he apologized and waited outside. When I came out, he apologized (in the traditional sense, not the new kind) some more and I told him it was fine and we looked at the stars.
-Yesterday, being the last day, I left a message with the neighbours, Tommy and Juanita (who had brought a 2-day old baby to FF): if Adam comes by, tell him he can wake me up to flirt with me. They delivered the message and reported that it had made him turn red. I caught him yesterday as he was packing up and we are exchanging fb messages. Ah, brief romances.
-I remembered what it feels like to have lots of energy, and what it's like to enjoy a concert without worrying about how I appear to other humans. This is optimal.
-My all-time favourite response to learning that a) I'm hard of hearing and b) that though you might have known me for 10 years, I only got hearing aids three years ago:
"OHHH. I thought you were slow!"
-baby rabies from camping with all the babies. Somewhat cancelled by the reality of parenting as witnessed, but like holy crap. Loved hanging with Kara and Aya, Aya being just over a year old and the most social little human I've ever seen. I gave her a piece of my apple, which she ate, and a second one, which she trotted over to offer to another baby. It was all I could do to keep my insides inside.
-No poison ivy. Wow!
-Devotchka, being gypsy punk, enabled me to do Hungarian folk dancing for the first time in ages. ♥
I'm hungry. Very, very hungry. Hungry like the wolf.
Was that even coherent? I just want to feel heard if a friendship (with or without cuddles, etc) is going to continue. Like, when you tell me that you have a type of woman you're attracted to for the millionth time & I tell you that it gives me the heebie-jeebies, maybe express curiosity as to why? Or just ignore it, that's a really good approach too. (That was sarcasm, the last sentence.)
If you're wondering, I think it's creepy to have a type because when I fit someone's "type" I feel fetishized, rather than appreciated for my actual self. Anyway, LIST:
-Watching Belle Star, I suspected I might have begun to menstruate (I picked & brewed yarrow a few times, out there). I informed Siobhan of my suspicion and told her that it would be too tragic if I went to the portapotty to check and found I wasn't, and had missed any of the concert for naught. She said "so that would be worse than bleeding on your skirt?" I pointed out that the skirt was red and she offered to cover me with a blanket while I checked. Still no blood.
-Yesterday I had a 17 minute nap next to Kevin on a sleeping bag with a tarp loosely blocking the sun above us. I woke up laughing because my subconscious had told me the funniest joke ever: instead of apologizing by saying you're sorry or that you apologize, simply let loose a string of words. The first word is always 'hungry', like "Hungry. Lightning. Barnyard. Battleship. Warren."
- I ran into Boeseya, who I know from elementary school. She's been working with Dan for the last few months, archaeology outside T Bay, and is best friends with the woman Dan is seeing. She was able to confirm that the woman is a good person, which was so heartwarming to hear. I'm a bit shy to ask Dan about her, yet, but I'm glad that he's dating someone wonderful. ON THAT NOTE
-Adam is from Minnesota. I can't tell you how I knew we were flirting, as neither of us is very good at it, but he followed me into the outhouse by accident. We'd been walking for a few minutes, in the dark, talking, and I hadn't said "and here is the outhouse I am going to use" so he just came in with me. I turned and said "I think I would like to go to the outhouse by myself" and he apologized and waited outside. When I came out, he apologized (in the traditional sense, not the new kind) some more and I told him it was fine and we looked at the stars.
-Yesterday, being the last day, I left a message with the neighbours, Tommy and Juanita (who had brought a 2-day old baby to FF): if Adam comes by, tell him he can wake me up to flirt with me. They delivered the message and reported that it had made him turn red. I caught him yesterday as he was packing up and we are exchanging fb messages. Ah, brief romances.
-I remembered what it feels like to have lots of energy, and what it's like to enjoy a concert without worrying about how I appear to other humans. This is optimal.
-My all-time favourite response to learning that a) I'm hard of hearing and b) that though you might have known me for 10 years, I only got hearing aids three years ago:
"OHHH. I thought you were slow!"
-baby rabies from camping with all the babies. Somewhat cancelled by the reality of parenting as witnessed, but like holy crap. Loved hanging with Kara and Aya, Aya being just over a year old and the most social little human I've ever seen. I gave her a piece of my apple, which she ate, and a second one, which she trotted over to offer to another baby. It was all I could do to keep my insides inside.
-No poison ivy. Wow!
-Devotchka, being gypsy punk, enabled me to do Hungarian folk dancing for the first time in ages. ♥
I'm hungry. Very, very hungry. Hungry like the wolf.