the beginning of everything else--an introduction.
So, I decided in the here and now that I'd just start over and make a new start. I guess that's saying a lot more than I can actually do, because I doubt I'll wake up tomorrow with this same idea. I've done it before. But I decided to revive the livejournal-ness fun for myself, with a whole new account. Yes, arisadonna is still there, but I'll probably just use it for other stuff that doesn't exactly relate to the actual reality of things.
I've come to realize that I think an awful lot--way more than I thought I did. I've found myself -looking- for people to rant to. But you can't just rant to anyone at all, because one, not everyone cares. Even if they're willing to listen, you can kind of tell they're only listening because they don't want to be mean or anything. And I kind of hate having to force people to listen to me and my mess and then try to find something to say to make me feel better. I'm not good with giving people reassuring words either, so I try not to ask for it.
Two, well, I tend not to explain things clearly. I rant and rant just to get words off my chest, but they don't come out in a way that people can comprehend it. Sometimes I don't even comprehend my words. In a sense, the type of ranting I do is just to release it off my chest. Not to explain it or have it understood, just to get it out of me and relieve myself of all the crap that's in my head that's driving me insane.
So to get things off my chest--and not throw it on other people's--I figured I might as well just finally make use of livejournal. I've had my old account for some years now and I just used it for crap. So finally, I'll use a journal to write. Something I love to do yet get so lazy that I just stop and don't write again for weeks.
Who knows how often I'll update. I don't really care right now. It's not as though it matters. Whenever I just need to write, I'll come here and take a breath. I could definitely use one right about now.
-arisa.
I've come to realize that I think an awful lot--way more than I thought I did. I've found myself -looking- for people to rant to. But you can't just rant to anyone at all, because one, not everyone cares. Even if they're willing to listen, you can kind of tell they're only listening because they don't want to be mean or anything. And I kind of hate having to force people to listen to me and my mess and then try to find something to say to make me feel better. I'm not good with giving people reassuring words either, so I try not to ask for it.
Two, well, I tend not to explain things clearly. I rant and rant just to get words off my chest, but they don't come out in a way that people can comprehend it. Sometimes I don't even comprehend my words. In a sense, the type of ranting I do is just to release it off my chest. Not to explain it or have it understood, just to get it out of me and relieve myself of all the crap that's in my head that's driving me insane.
So to get things off my chest--and not throw it on other people's--I figured I might as well just finally make use of livejournal. I've had my old account for some years now and I just used it for crap. So finally, I'll use a journal to write. Something I love to do yet get so lazy that I just stop and don't write again for weeks.
Who knows how often I'll update. I don't really care right now. It's not as though it matters. Whenever I just need to write, I'll come here and take a breath. I could definitely use one right about now.
-arisa.