I wish I knew what this means.
I fit into my old Abercrombie size 4 jeans. I am freaking the FUCK out. That means I'm the same size as I was at the end of senior year. How the fuck did that happen? There's no way I'm eating nearly enough to gain fat, especially with my lifestyle. And I exercise religiously at least every other day. The waist is looser than it was in senior year, so I guess that's a plus - a hint that it's muscle, not fat. I keep telling myself that's what it has to be. If I flex the muscles anywhere on my body and then pinch, there's very little there. So if my muscles are getting bigger (they must be, with all that exercise...right?), the little fat I have (NECESSARY fat! HEALTHY fat!) just rests on top of those. That's logical. That's what it is. I'm not blubbering up. I'm not going to turn into a cow in 10 years. I better not be, because I don't think I could stop eating again. That's really good, I know, but damned if it doesn't scare me shitless. Fuck. Growing up (yes, I'm still growing up) just wasn't complicated enough without this, was it.