i already miss you.
today i was walking to my car across the parking lot at school, and I just started thinking about a lot of random things, and one thing led to another, and my thought were moving so fast...
...I thought about a comedy piece i saw, and then i started smiling, and then i was wondering if people were looking at me smiling and thinking that i was crazy, and then i wondered why i even cared, because I probably don't like them to begin with, and then i wondered why i care when i'm getting my drawing stuff out of my trunk in front of people, i guess i think they might think that i have a body in the trunk, but i know that i don't, so why am i nervous? why would i even think that they would think that? why am i even thinking about any of this? i wondered if you think things like this, and then i wondered why i thought of you, and then i thought, oh no. stay cool, ice cold.
then i thought about people. I thought about linkous, and all of the bands we want to start, and how being in a full-time band would probably be the only thing in this world that would make him happy and interested enough to put all of his heart into it. And then i thought about andy, and how i barely know him, and how i have probably spent less than 3 hours hanging out with him, but how highly i think of him, and how that probably has something to do with who he is, because it seems like everybody reacts that way to him. then that made me think of hallie, and how she smiles like a chesire cat, and then i thought of grant and how he made fun of that crazy kid who washed dishes for a week...at some point today i thought about my cousin, and how i hope he can overcome all of the things he's had handed to him with grace, i thought about T.A. Pt. 1 and how she said she wanted to hang out, and then disappeared, i thought about david and the tattoo he wants to get, and how bad of a kid he's become, and how i hope that's not my fault, i thought about Dan and Mike, and how I hope we'll get to play ultimate frisbee every day now that michael is coming home, I thought about school, and how badly i'm doing, and how i don't really care! i thought about adam, and his tattoo that i haven't seen, and how dumb everyone tells me that it is, then i wondered if you like tattoos, and then i thought about mine, whatever it's going to be, then i thought about danny's, and then i thought about what he said about you remembering things that i say and that being a good sign, then i thought about agoraphobic nosebleed, and i tried to leave a message on my machine like the one on frozen corpse stuffed with dope, but later on i heard it, and it didn't really sound like it. when i got off of work, i saw that i had three missed calls, and i didn't even notice that the last two were from steponme, but i just saw your number right away. then i drove home and blasted fcsw/d next to some yo-boyz, and they looked at me like i was crazy, and then i listened to the faint, and then some joy electric. what a weird progression. and then i thought about how much i love my music, and i thought about why the good music isn't on the radio, i mean, come on, if there was any justice in this world, stairwell and starflyer 59 would be millionaires. I know converge and the mars volta aren't for everyone, but how can you deny west coast friendship? or champion weekend? gay-vin degraw would kill himself if he ever heard those songs, or at least stop writing music. how if brittney spears put out only songs like toxic, and none like that every time i cry song, the world would be so much cooler, how the killers are so much better than the strokes, but everyone isn't all over their nuts like they were the strokes and the stripes, how much i hate 311, nickleback, 3 doors down, metallica, poison the well, most of oc, and any other music where the term artist applies only very loosely to the creators. how my house is too cold at night, and how it makes me sick, and i thought about trying to wear a ski mask to sleep, but i might scare myself in the morning, or suffocate...so that's out.
now i'm tired, and trying to think what i'm going to put on repeat to play all night while i sleep, i was thinking maybe neurosis, but that'll give me nightmares for sure, maybe the killers, maybe the faint, maybe interpol, or joy electric, or starflyer, no, that cd already had a hole in it...why do my cds get so effed so quick? cult of luna, converge, isis? stairwell.
...I thought about a comedy piece i saw, and then i started smiling, and then i was wondering if people were looking at me smiling and thinking that i was crazy, and then i wondered why i even cared, because I probably don't like them to begin with, and then i wondered why i care when i'm getting my drawing stuff out of my trunk in front of people, i guess i think they might think that i have a body in the trunk, but i know that i don't, so why am i nervous? why would i even think that they would think that? why am i even thinking about any of this? i wondered if you think things like this, and then i wondered why i thought of you, and then i thought, oh no. stay cool, ice cold.
then i thought about people. I thought about linkous, and all of the bands we want to start, and how being in a full-time band would probably be the only thing in this world that would make him happy and interested enough to put all of his heart into it. And then i thought about andy, and how i barely know him, and how i have probably spent less than 3 hours hanging out with him, but how highly i think of him, and how that probably has something to do with who he is, because it seems like everybody reacts that way to him. then that made me think of hallie, and how she smiles like a chesire cat, and then i thought of grant and how he made fun of that crazy kid who washed dishes for a week...at some point today i thought about my cousin, and how i hope he can overcome all of the things he's had handed to him with grace, i thought about T.A. Pt. 1 and how she said she wanted to hang out, and then disappeared, i thought about david and the tattoo he wants to get, and how bad of a kid he's become, and how i hope that's not my fault, i thought about Dan and Mike, and how I hope we'll get to play ultimate frisbee every day now that michael is coming home, I thought about school, and how badly i'm doing, and how i don't really care! i thought about adam, and his tattoo that i haven't seen, and how dumb everyone tells me that it is, then i wondered if you like tattoos, and then i thought about mine, whatever it's going to be, then i thought about danny's, and then i thought about what he said about you remembering things that i say and that being a good sign, then i thought about agoraphobic nosebleed, and i tried to leave a message on my machine like the one on frozen corpse stuffed with dope, but later on i heard it, and it didn't really sound like it. when i got off of work, i saw that i had three missed calls, and i didn't even notice that the last two were from steponme, but i just saw your number right away. then i drove home and blasted fcsw/d next to some yo-boyz, and they looked at me like i was crazy, and then i listened to the faint, and then some joy electric. what a weird progression. and then i thought about how much i love my music, and i thought about why the good music isn't on the radio, i mean, come on, if there was any justice in this world, stairwell and starflyer 59 would be millionaires. I know converge and the mars volta aren't for everyone, but how can you deny west coast friendship? or champion weekend? gay-vin degraw would kill himself if he ever heard those songs, or at least stop writing music. how if brittney spears put out only songs like toxic, and none like that every time i cry song, the world would be so much cooler, how the killers are so much better than the strokes, but everyone isn't all over their nuts like they were the strokes and the stripes, how much i hate 311, nickleback, 3 doors down, metallica, poison the well, most of oc, and any other music where the term artist applies only very loosely to the creators. how my house is too cold at night, and how it makes me sick, and i thought about trying to wear a ski mask to sleep, but i might scare myself in the morning, or suffocate...so that's out.
now i'm tired, and trying to think what i'm going to put on repeat to play all night while i sleep, i was thinking maybe neurosis, but that'll give me nightmares for sure, maybe the killers, maybe the faint, maybe interpol, or joy electric, or starflyer, no, that cd already had a hole in it...why do my cds get so effed so quick? cult of luna, converge, isis? stairwell.