Oh Napoleon
I love Napoleon dearly, but I'm seriously not kidding when I say he's secretly a teenage girl.
For good or for awesome, here is an unfinished fake episode, which was going to include hijinks like a twelve year old girl in Napoleon's body getting a crush on Illya, but I guess kleenexwoman and I got distracted or something:
MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E. episode: "The Gender-Switch Affair." Starring, I don't know, someone's niece.
In which THRUSH stages an elaborate kidnapping scheme at the New York Museum of Natural History. Right in the gem exhibit, so it's a red herring--UNCLE thinks they are going to steal the gemstones, but they are in fact going to steal NAPOLEON SOLO, SUPER SECRET AGENT! They also accidentally steal a twelve-year-old girl. Oh snap, THRUSH, there is some egg on your face.
Oh no, THRUSH is testing out a mind-swapping ray! They were originally going to swap Napoleon's brain with that of a stuffed dodo, but it turns out that that doesn't work because the stuffed dodo doesn't have its brain any more. Nobody ever said THRUSH had critical thinking skills. So they swap his brain with the twelve-year-old girl and let them go! Oh, what confusion it will cause back at UNCLE headquarters. Oh, how the THRUSHes laugh.
The twelve-year-old, confused, tries to go back and join her field trip group and her friends. There is some misunderstanding when an older man in a suit tries to take hold of a twelve-year-old girl's hand in the middle of a crowded museum room. Someone gets hit with an indignant teacher's umbrella. Someone also gets kicked hard in the shins. Finally, Napoleon finds his twelve-year-old infested body and drags her off to UNCLE.
They have some difficulty getting into the Del Floria's entrance ("Why, Mr. Solo, it's not Take-Your-Daughter-To-Work-Day yet!") until Napoleon basically tells the twelve-year-old what to do, unhappily aware that he is giving out important espionage secrets. They manage to get Illya alone and explain the situation. Illya makes jokes about how Napoleon's conquests are just getting younger and younger.
For good or for awesome, here is an unfinished fake episode, which was going to include hijinks like a twelve year old girl in Napoleon's body getting a crush on Illya, but I guess kleenexwoman and I got distracted or something:
MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E. episode: "The Gender-Switch Affair." Starring, I don't know, someone's niece.
In which THRUSH stages an elaborate kidnapping scheme at the New York Museum of Natural History. Right in the gem exhibit, so it's a red herring--UNCLE thinks they are going to steal the gemstones, but they are in fact going to steal NAPOLEON SOLO, SUPER SECRET AGENT! They also accidentally steal a twelve-year-old girl. Oh snap, THRUSH, there is some egg on your face.
Oh no, THRUSH is testing out a mind-swapping ray! They were originally going to swap Napoleon's brain with that of a stuffed dodo, but it turns out that that doesn't work because the stuffed dodo doesn't have its brain any more. Nobody ever said THRUSH had critical thinking skills. So they swap his brain with the twelve-year-old girl and let them go! Oh, what confusion it will cause back at UNCLE headquarters. Oh, how the THRUSHes laugh.
The twelve-year-old, confused, tries to go back and join her field trip group and her friends. There is some misunderstanding when an older man in a suit tries to take hold of a twelve-year-old girl's hand in the middle of a crowded museum room. Someone gets hit with an indignant teacher's umbrella. Someone also gets kicked hard in the shins. Finally, Napoleon finds his twelve-year-old infested body and drags her off to UNCLE.
They have some difficulty getting into the Del Floria's entrance ("Why, Mr. Solo, it's not Take-Your-Daughter-To-Work-Day yet!") until Napoleon basically tells the twelve-year-old what to do, unhappily aware that he is giving out important espionage secrets. They manage to get Illya alone and explain the situation. Illya makes jokes about how Napoleon's conquests are just getting younger and younger.