It's been a little while
Wow, I haven't posted in a while. Caltech has really been eating up all my time. This depresses me, as I feel like so many things that are important in my life are getting thrown by the wayside. I don't have time for my friendships, and I'm seriously wondering about the direction I want my life to take. I've really been getting interested in both writing and film-making, and Caltech is lacking in both these regards. I want to write on my story and movie script, but I don't have the time. I want to learn Maya and Final Cut, I want to read and watch movies, I want to see all the people who've become just ghosts on the internet and hang out like the out days. I miss everybody, and I just feel this emotional void in my life right now. I'm also constantly paranoid that I'm saying stupid shit and fucking up the relationships I do have. I know that people like me and are understanding of my occasional foot-in-mouth, but I get worried nonetheless. I just sometimes feel like everybody else is so much closer and they're always doing stuff and I'm the guy who's left out, not because he's unwelcome, but just because he's somehow not as much a part of the group. Every break I tell myself I'm going to see everybody and do all this fun stuff, but it somehow doesn't happen, and then everybody seems to doing all this cool stuff when I'm not around. When I get back in December, I want to see everybody, and I want feel like I belong.
When did life get so complicated, sigh?
When did life get so complicated, sigh?