Why Isn't Love Enough?
The rock band Extreme wrote the song "More Than Words" as a caution to the world that the three simple, yet most complicated words "I love you" were going to one day lose their fervor. This song and claim has intrigued me to explore my own thoughts and feelings on the subject. It makes me think about loving someone and being in love with someone and how the difference between the two seems to be pretty grand. But what exactly is the difference? Do we use the verb 'love' too mindlessly?
You could argue that 'love' might be something you feel towards a family member or close friend, but you aren't in love with them. On the other hand you love a partner, and you are also in love with them. Is being in love with someone a constant feeling? Is it something we need confirmation of on a daily basis? Or do with fall in love with someone and loving them unconditionally is what carries us through the best and worst of all situations?
I don't know. When I think of the giving side of love, I want to say that it's just love, and there are different levels of it. There are certain sacrifices you make for some people in your life that you wouldn't for others. There are certain secrets you tell your best friend who you've married, and certain ones you tell your best friend, and some you tell both. I personally and selfishly don't like to examine the giving side of love, because I feel confident in how I portray my feelings and hope that I do enough to tell those people that I love how much they mean to me. Although maybe I should revisit this more often to really make sure I keep that confidence.
I feel like I'm pretty emotional person, but when you here someone is emotional it paints a picture of instability; a scene of a woman with red, puffy eyes who might start laughing, screaming, hitting or sobbing, or all of the above, at any given moment. For those of you who know me, know that doesn't usually describe me. However, when it comes to love, at least in the present, I feel like I am pretty tapped into my emotions and am usually pretty clear on how I portray them. I believe in honesty above all and when it comes to love, I'm not very good at holding that back or swinging the other way and faking it. That is how I view myself at least, but I might also be a little biased. But for whatever reason, I have a hard time interpreting other's emotions. Everyone has had someone give them a complement that was truly genuine and meaningful and have felt that swelling of the heart that feels like happiness and causes you to pause in your thoughts and for once your thoughts turn to yourself and you give a smile you would have no chance of holding back if you even wanted to. So it seems to me like if I can recognize that moment of feeling loved, why does the daily in and outs of being loved become so difficult to interpret? I know I am loved; my brain is fairly functional and bright. And for the most part, I feel loved, but why isn't love enough? Why do we hear "I love you" and not always feel convinced of it? Brain says yes I know you love me, I love you too. Heart says yeah, I think I feel that love, and I give you love back. But why is it that the slightest bit of sliver of a doubt suddenly demands that we feel more? Why isn't love enough?
Maybe that's a poor phrase choice. Love is enough. Love is something we are lucky to have and feel and to even be a part of our lives. I could go on, talk about the over use of "I love you" in society, especially as a young teen and how maybe that softens the impact of those words, but that would be a bunch of fluff. No matter how often you say those words and think you mean them and don't or receive them and look back and realize you were naive, it doesn't take away from the moment you hear them from that one person. I could talk about movies and fairytales and how disney has misled all of the females in the world about what real love will amount to. I'm pretty sure that argument is an insult to all intelligent women who have half a brain. No shit I'm not going to marry a prince who rides up to save me on his white horse, this is America, we are a democratic republic, not a constitutional monarchy. Does the idea of hopeless romantic love stories with grand gestures make life tougher for the males in the world to be able to sweep a woman off her feet? Not really, not the first time at least. But maybe it is just me, or the fault of the fact that most females just want attention, to know you're thinking of them, or to be surprised every now and then, but I enjoy being swept off my feet by my husband. And it really doesn't take much. Sometimes I think that evolution screwed up somewhere with the men being the masculine one that traditionally is supposed to romantically woo their woman or whatever, yet gave them the emotional competence of a camel. That comparison might be unfair or completely incorrect, I know nothing of camels. Of course I'm also being really stereotypical of men. It's not an insensitivity thing, but possibly a lack of attention to detail. Or the inability to read minds. Mmm. Yeah, that's it. Get working on that, men.
Bottom line. Be grateful for what you have, be grateful you're alive and on earth to give the people that deserve it your love. Because when you think about your life and the difference between being alive or dead, days are always numbered to give love, but receiving love is something that never really ends.
You could argue that 'love' might be something you feel towards a family member or close friend, but you aren't in love with them. On the other hand you love a partner, and you are also in love with them. Is being in love with someone a constant feeling? Is it something we need confirmation of on a daily basis? Or do with fall in love with someone and loving them unconditionally is what carries us through the best and worst of all situations?
I don't know. When I think of the giving side of love, I want to say that it's just love, and there are different levels of it. There are certain sacrifices you make for some people in your life that you wouldn't for others. There are certain secrets you tell your best friend who you've married, and certain ones you tell your best friend, and some you tell both. I personally and selfishly don't like to examine the giving side of love, because I feel confident in how I portray my feelings and hope that I do enough to tell those people that I love how much they mean to me. Although maybe I should revisit this more often to really make sure I keep that confidence.
I feel like I'm pretty emotional person, but when you here someone is emotional it paints a picture of instability; a scene of a woman with red, puffy eyes who might start laughing, screaming, hitting or sobbing, or all of the above, at any given moment. For those of you who know me, know that doesn't usually describe me. However, when it comes to love, at least in the present, I feel like I am pretty tapped into my emotions and am usually pretty clear on how I portray them. I believe in honesty above all and when it comes to love, I'm not very good at holding that back or swinging the other way and faking it. That is how I view myself at least, but I might also be a little biased. But for whatever reason, I have a hard time interpreting other's emotions. Everyone has had someone give them a complement that was truly genuine and meaningful and have felt that swelling of the heart that feels like happiness and causes you to pause in your thoughts and for once your thoughts turn to yourself and you give a smile you would have no chance of holding back if you even wanted to. So it seems to me like if I can recognize that moment of feeling loved, why does the daily in and outs of being loved become so difficult to interpret? I know I am loved; my brain is fairly functional and bright. And for the most part, I feel loved, but why isn't love enough? Why do we hear "I love you" and not always feel convinced of it? Brain says yes I know you love me, I love you too. Heart says yeah, I think I feel that love, and I give you love back. But why is it that the slightest bit of sliver of a doubt suddenly demands that we feel more? Why isn't love enough?
Maybe that's a poor phrase choice. Love is enough. Love is something we are lucky to have and feel and to even be a part of our lives. I could go on, talk about the over use of "I love you" in society, especially as a young teen and how maybe that softens the impact of those words, but that would be a bunch of fluff. No matter how often you say those words and think you mean them and don't or receive them and look back and realize you were naive, it doesn't take away from the moment you hear them from that one person. I could talk about movies and fairytales and how disney has misled all of the females in the world about what real love will amount to. I'm pretty sure that argument is an insult to all intelligent women who have half a brain. No shit I'm not going to marry a prince who rides up to save me on his white horse, this is America, we are a democratic republic, not a constitutional monarchy. Does the idea of hopeless romantic love stories with grand gestures make life tougher for the males in the world to be able to sweep a woman off her feet? Not really, not the first time at least. But maybe it is just me, or the fault of the fact that most females just want attention, to know you're thinking of them, or to be surprised every now and then, but I enjoy being swept off my feet by my husband. And it really doesn't take much. Sometimes I think that evolution screwed up somewhere with the men being the masculine one that traditionally is supposed to romantically woo their woman or whatever, yet gave them the emotional competence of a camel. That comparison might be unfair or completely incorrect, I know nothing of camels. Of course I'm also being really stereotypical of men. It's not an insensitivity thing, but possibly a lack of attention to detail. Or the inability to read minds. Mmm. Yeah, that's it. Get working on that, men.
Bottom line. Be grateful for what you have, be grateful you're alive and on earth to give the people that deserve it your love. Because when you think about your life and the difference between being alive or dead, days are always numbered to give love, but receiving love is something that never really ends.