random venting-i promise the next one will be better
I DON'T GET IT....
I try to be realistic about who I am, and who I am not. This is such a teenage girl kind of post, but really....there's some things I don't get.
I know I'm "in-between". I know I'm not one thing or the other. I'm not "this" or "that". I'm not tall and skinny with long legs. I'm not really curvy. I'm not really tiny and cute, and I'm not lean and beautiful, and i'm not busty and sexy. I'm not super flirtatious. I'm not easy. I'm not in-your-face sexual. I'm not exotic and mysterious.
I'm not the life of a party. I'm not the nice girl. I'm not the super romantic. I'm not different enough or crazy enough for the different/crazy guys....yet i'm too different and crazy for the more reserved guys. I'm too loud for the quiet guys and I'm not loud enough for the LOUD guys. I'm not smart enough or a deep enough thinker for the truly philosophical, political guys, and I'm wayyyy too much of a thinker for lots of other guys. The list goes on and on....
I don't know where I fit in. Is my mediocrity ever going to be enough for someone?
I see these girls that all look and seemingly act like clones of each other. The trendy girls. The girls who act like obnoxious sluts when they're drunk. The girls who don't like trying anything new. The girls who aren't random or quirky and don't have a unique thought in their head. Then I see these nasty ass girls who look like they haven't showered, eaten right, or exercised since....well, never.....and they're walking around with a boyfriend. People who take no pride in their appearance and their body are somehow getting guys, and girls who take too much pride in their clothes, hair and makeup (but no pride in their goddamn brain) are also getting guys.
Fat girls.
Clingy girls.
Obnoxious drunk girls.
Slutty girls.
STUPID girls.
Girls who just aren't that funny.
I try to maintain a good body. I try to look cute and comfortable. I have alot of qualities that guys CLAIM they want in a girl...but realistically, they're all fucking lying. They say they want a "smart girl" who "doesn't wear too much makeup or show too much skin" or "act like a slut". They say they want a girl who "speaks their mind" and "does her own thing".
BULLSHIT.
Those girls are out there, doing their own thing, trying new things, just being themselves and being chill. And wondering why they can't get boyfriends. Welllll, its because most guys are full of shit.
They want the bar sluts.They want the girls who laugh at every joke, but don't make their own jokes. They want girls with half a brain, who won't question anything or argue. They want girls who wear slutty clothes. They want all that stereotypical bullshit.
Why do I care?
I guess I'm tired of being lonely.
I'm tired of wondering if there will ever be someone who measures up to what I had....
I'm tired of hoping my "medium-ness" will be enough for someone, someday...
To all the mediocre girls, I feel your pain
I try to be realistic about who I am, and who I am not. This is such a teenage girl kind of post, but really....there's some things I don't get.
I know I'm "in-between". I know I'm not one thing or the other. I'm not "this" or "that". I'm not tall and skinny with long legs. I'm not really curvy. I'm not really tiny and cute, and I'm not lean and beautiful, and i'm not busty and sexy. I'm not super flirtatious. I'm not easy. I'm not in-your-face sexual. I'm not exotic and mysterious.
I'm not the life of a party. I'm not the nice girl. I'm not the super romantic. I'm not different enough or crazy enough for the different/crazy guys....yet i'm too different and crazy for the more reserved guys. I'm too loud for the quiet guys and I'm not loud enough for the LOUD guys. I'm not smart enough or a deep enough thinker for the truly philosophical, political guys, and I'm wayyyy too much of a thinker for lots of other guys. The list goes on and on....
I don't know where I fit in. Is my mediocrity ever going to be enough for someone?
I see these girls that all look and seemingly act like clones of each other. The trendy girls. The girls who act like obnoxious sluts when they're drunk. The girls who don't like trying anything new. The girls who aren't random or quirky and don't have a unique thought in their head. Then I see these nasty ass girls who look like they haven't showered, eaten right, or exercised since....well, never.....and they're walking around with a boyfriend. People who take no pride in their appearance and their body are somehow getting guys, and girls who take too much pride in their clothes, hair and makeup (but no pride in their goddamn brain) are also getting guys.
Fat girls.
Clingy girls.
Obnoxious drunk girls.
Slutty girls.
STUPID girls.
Girls who just aren't that funny.
I try to maintain a good body. I try to look cute and comfortable. I have alot of qualities that guys CLAIM they want in a girl...but realistically, they're all fucking lying. They say they want a "smart girl" who "doesn't wear too much makeup or show too much skin" or "act like a slut". They say they want a girl who "speaks their mind" and "does her own thing".
BULLSHIT.
Those girls are out there, doing their own thing, trying new things, just being themselves and being chill. And wondering why they can't get boyfriends. Welllll, its because most guys are full of shit.
They want the bar sluts.They want the girls who laugh at every joke, but don't make their own jokes. They want girls with half a brain, who won't question anything or argue. They want girls who wear slutty clothes. They want all that stereotypical bullshit.
Why do I care?
I guess I'm tired of being lonely.
I'm tired of wondering if there will ever be someone who measures up to what I had....
I'm tired of hoping my "medium-ness" will be enough for someone, someday...
To all the mediocre girls, I feel your pain