in the midnight sun - act II, scenes ix-xii
The first night of the full moon, Jeff Maker comes over for dinner, which Jack has cooked. Alex isn’t sure they aren’t all going to die, but at least Jack is trying. They are all trying to get along without ripping each other’s heads off, which is a huge feat when there are three of them living under the same roof together. Mostly Jeff is there to guide Alex and Jack through their first change. They’re both nervous, Alex particularly so. After dinner they all walk out to the forest together. “Stop being so nervous, you’re making me nervous,” Grieco says. Jack laughs awkwardly.
Jeff looks at the three of them. “You’d better strip now,” he sighs. “It’s getting dark and we don’t need anyone freaking out if they get stuck in their clothes. They’re a lot harder to take off when you lack opposable thumbs.” It’s supposed to be a joke to lighten the mood, but no one is laughing. Jack undresses first, keeping his back turned while he does. Then Alex goes, not caring if anyone sees him naked because he’s pretty sure everyone present has witnessed it at least once before. Soon enough they are all naked; it’s pretty awkward and embarrassing and nothing happens at first.
“When is something going to happen?” Jack wants to know. He’s restless. Nobody has figured out how to get him to stop pulling his hair out and picking at his skin. At least it doesn’t scar that much; Alex silently thanks God every day for their speedy recovery time.
Jeff looks at them and says, “It is happening.”
Sure enough, there is hair in places it shouldn’t be. It’s hard to explain how it feels, exactly, like waking up and stretching and feeling the sensation of bones cracking everywhere at once. It’s hot and itchy and uncomfortable and it hurts. The worst part is the tailbone. It feels like being chopped in half. Alex means to ask how he’ll know when it’s over because the pain is kind of unbearable, but his jaw is mangled and half-animal so he can’t form words anymore. The howls coming up from deeper in the trees send shivers down his spine.
He looks at Grieco, like, Are we supposed to find them? and Grieco-wolf rolls his eyes.
(It’s kind of weird and uncomfortable that he still finds his boyfriend attractive as a wolf. It’s downright awkward and disconcerting and he doesn’t know if they’re supposed to, like, do stuff because he kind of really wants to but he doesn’t actually know if that’s a thing. And if it is a thing… how? Just how exactly does this all work?)
But then he gets distracted by running and leaping and swimming and rolling in the leaves and hunting. He howls some, too, but it’s not the mournful sounds he sometimes hears. It’s I am so happy to be alive right now, I love you I love you IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou mine mine mine MINE until they find a place to curl up and fall asleep together. Grieco licks him and bites him playfully. They spend a long time nuzzling each other in the morning. Then, Grieco shows him the best way to catch rabbits and they spend the majority of the next afternoon stalking some jackrabbits and scaring them shitless.
Being a werewolf doesn’t suck as much as he expected it to. The days run together a little bit, but he doesn’t mind.
*
You decide to catch up with the pack on the last night. Alex… has a tendency to let his attention wander with each new smell, so it does take a while to herd him to the usual meeting spot. Although, admittedly, sometimes it is your fault he gets distracted because you can’t stop touching him either. He’s pretty, okay? Which is why, when you lead him into the clearing, your head is held high and so is your tail. You’re thinking mineminemine hi this is Alex and he’s pretty and he’s MINE.
You can literally feel Alex thinking, stop wagging your tail like an asshole you’re embarrassing me but you also know that he’s nervous because he doesn’t know anyone. Well, he does. He just doesn’t know that he knows them.
Rian growls and circles around with his tail held low, teeth bared. Alex lowers his head, puts his ears back; you sort of told him what to do when he meets the pack leader and he’s doing a good job of being submissive. He whines softly, so you nuzzle his side encouragingly and lick his face. It’s okay, you think. I love you. Everything is going perfectly fine, until Jack - who Jeff was supposed to be keeping an eye on, what the fuck happened to that - comes flying out of the bush and tackles Alex, then you, yipping joyfully and generally acting like an idiot. This was not part of the plan at all. This is actually incredibly counterproductive, because your plan was to get Alex accepted by the pack so everything could be business as usual.
You were kind of hoping, pretty much, that you would get to pretend Jack doesn’t exist. You do it enough at home that you’ve gotten pretty good at it.
But then Jack had to come along and ruin everything again. Rian flattens his ears against his head and growls at the three of you; the others start moving in and you grit your teeth. This… is not going to end well. Oh, this is probably the worst thing that has happened in a very long time because you can see Rian eyeing Alex with a predatory glare you’ve seen once before. Pretty much you had hoped that, uh, if Alex acted submissive enough Rian might just ignore the fact that he is… basically reeking of alpha wolf. And now Jack has essentially just claimed Alex as his pack leader and you, by extension, a member of his pack, which is a very, very bad thing. You could tear his throat out right now. You are so fucking angry at him.
It catches you slightly off-guard when Rian lunges at Jack first. You’re not sure why he’s angry at Jack, or what Jack has done to offend him, but you aren’t surprised when Alex leaps to his defense. The look Alex gives you clearly says I know he’s weird and embarrassing but he’s my best friend and you can’t really fault him for that. Alex growls deep and curls his lips back. He has impressive teeth, you think, as far as teeth go.
The sun is slowly rising. You nip Alex on the shoulder and push your head against his neck. Let’s go, we have to go home, you think. You growl at Jack and bite his back leg. He is the mangiest fucking werewolf you’ve ever seen.
Once everyone is changed and clothed again, Alex looks at you and says, “Well, that wasn’t terrible.”
“Are you fucking insane?” you snap. “Now we have to keep him.” Jack shrinks away. You don’t miss the tears welling up in his eyes; you’re not heartless and you do feel bad for making him cry, but that’s part of being a werewolf, the mood swings, and he just made things a hell of a lot worse for all three of you. You’re allowed to be angry at him.
Considering the last stupid kid who thought he’d make a great pack leader and could start his own pack without knowing the consequences ended up dead on the side of the highway, you’re pretty sure you’re allowed to be angry about all of this. Alex has been a werewolf for a month. He is not leadership material; despite your best efforts he barely knows how to hunt and he is just not equipped for this kind of thing! None of you are!
Jack says, “I’m sorry.” He really means it, too, you can tell. He looks so sad all the time. You wish you could fix him - if not for his sake, then for Alex’s, because Alex is his best friend and therefore if he’s sad, Alex is also sad. And if Alex is sad, then you are sad too. You love him that much. So, even though you kind of hate Jack for the mess he’s caused, you also love him some for being Alex’s best friend.
*
It is so easy to get annoyed with Jack for following Alex around like a lost puppy until you realize that he really can’t help it. You forget sometimes what it’s like to be that new to everything. Finally Alex pulls him aside and says, “Jack, you’ve gotta give us some space for a bit. We’re all tired and I don’t want to fight with anyone right now. I want a nap, and then I want breakfast.” You could kiss him right now. It is mid-morning; you’re exhausted and kind of crabby and you just want to dive into bed with Alex and stay there all day. Alex wraps his arm around your waist and murmurs, “I swear I’m gonna make this up to you as soon as we’re alone.” You lean into him. He’s gained a lot of muscle since he was bitten, a result of which has been the fact that you can’t keep your hands off him lately. His arms are just, like, Jesus Christ. He whispers, “I’ve been thinking about what I want to do to you all morning.”
“Mm,” you sigh. That is a plan you can get behind. “Goodnight, Jack.”
Jack shrugs and curls up on his couch. “’s not really night, but okay.” He won’t be awake much longer, you can tell. Where Alex has gotten more muscle mass, Jack has only gotten lankier. You can count his ribs through his shirt now. He looks so tired all the time. It’s worrisome, but it’s also not your problem right now. He’s not sick, he’s not running a fever or anything but you’ll keep an eye on him all the same. The other thing that worries you is that he hasn’t stopped picking at his skin; he wears long sleeves most of the time to try and hide it, but sometimes you catch a glimpse and seeing what he does to himself makes you worried. You’ve never heard of anyone self-harming like that before - you’re pretty sure that a large percentage of the werewolf population at large must do it, but you’d never be able to tell who because of the healing factor involved - but it’s the fact that Jack scars that’s… off. He scares you, sometimes.
Alex tugs on your hand. “Hey, c’mon. Bed.” When you don’t follow him right away, he grabs you around your waist and throws you over his shoulder. He never used to be able to do that. You laugh and hang on so he won’t drop you. Not that you think he would, it’s just instinct.
“You’re incredible,” you breathe. He lets you fall onto the bed on your back and then straddles your hips, grinning as he kisses you hard. You pull Alex closer, open your mouth to him. “What are you-?” you whine when he pulls away.
He shuts the bedroom door and locks it. “Privacy.” You lie back on the bed and watch him strip out of his clothes. God, he has a nice body, you think. He comes back to the bed, kisses you again; you don’t resist when he undresses you. That would defeat the purpose. “I love you,” Alex whispers against your skin. “I’m sorry you keep getting dragged into my shit. I’m sorry.” His teeth graze the side of your neck. You know exactly how he plans to make it up to you. And you don’t mind at all.
The mattress squeaks with every roll of his hips. It’s good, so good. You wrap your legs around his waist, pull him deeper into you. You think I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Afterward, you doze off for a while. Alex kisses the top of your head and mumbles, “I love you so much.”
“Love you too,” you reply sleepily. “Go to sleep. ‘m tired.” You nuzzle his shoulder and brush your lips over the skin before curling up in his arms for what will hopefully be a good, long nap. Alex squeezes your waist affectionately. It’s good to be home again. It’s good to be with him. He’s going to make a good pack leader, you think, with a little work. He’s likeable, he’s good with people. You’re not sure exactly how it’s going to work with just the three of you, but. It’s not like you haven’t had to work through bigger problems than this over seven years. After all, he’s already survived the first real challenge; you thank God for that because so many new wolves don’t survive the first month. Everything else is peanuts compared to that.
Next
Jeff looks at the three of them. “You’d better strip now,” he sighs. “It’s getting dark and we don’t need anyone freaking out if they get stuck in their clothes. They’re a lot harder to take off when you lack opposable thumbs.” It’s supposed to be a joke to lighten the mood, but no one is laughing. Jack undresses first, keeping his back turned while he does. Then Alex goes, not caring if anyone sees him naked because he’s pretty sure everyone present has witnessed it at least once before. Soon enough they are all naked; it’s pretty awkward and embarrassing and nothing happens at first.
“When is something going to happen?” Jack wants to know. He’s restless. Nobody has figured out how to get him to stop pulling his hair out and picking at his skin. At least it doesn’t scar that much; Alex silently thanks God every day for their speedy recovery time.
Jeff looks at them and says, “It is happening.”
Sure enough, there is hair in places it shouldn’t be. It’s hard to explain how it feels, exactly, like waking up and stretching and feeling the sensation of bones cracking everywhere at once. It’s hot and itchy and uncomfortable and it hurts. The worst part is the tailbone. It feels like being chopped in half. Alex means to ask how he’ll know when it’s over because the pain is kind of unbearable, but his jaw is mangled and half-animal so he can’t form words anymore. The howls coming up from deeper in the trees send shivers down his spine.
He looks at Grieco, like, Are we supposed to find them? and Grieco-wolf rolls his eyes.
(It’s kind of weird and uncomfortable that he still finds his boyfriend attractive as a wolf. It’s downright awkward and disconcerting and he doesn’t know if they’re supposed to, like, do stuff because he kind of really wants to but he doesn’t actually know if that’s a thing. And if it is a thing… how? Just how exactly does this all work?)
But then he gets distracted by running and leaping and swimming and rolling in the leaves and hunting. He howls some, too, but it’s not the mournful sounds he sometimes hears. It’s I am so happy to be alive right now, I love you I love you IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou mine mine mine MINE until they find a place to curl up and fall asleep together. Grieco licks him and bites him playfully. They spend a long time nuzzling each other in the morning. Then, Grieco shows him the best way to catch rabbits and they spend the majority of the next afternoon stalking some jackrabbits and scaring them shitless.
Being a werewolf doesn’t suck as much as he expected it to. The days run together a little bit, but he doesn’t mind.
*
You decide to catch up with the pack on the last night. Alex… has a tendency to let his attention wander with each new smell, so it does take a while to herd him to the usual meeting spot. Although, admittedly, sometimes it is your fault he gets distracted because you can’t stop touching him either. He’s pretty, okay? Which is why, when you lead him into the clearing, your head is held high and so is your tail. You’re thinking mineminemine hi this is Alex and he’s pretty and he’s MINE.
You can literally feel Alex thinking, stop wagging your tail like an asshole you’re embarrassing me but you also know that he’s nervous because he doesn’t know anyone. Well, he does. He just doesn’t know that he knows them.
Rian growls and circles around with his tail held low, teeth bared. Alex lowers his head, puts his ears back; you sort of told him what to do when he meets the pack leader and he’s doing a good job of being submissive. He whines softly, so you nuzzle his side encouragingly and lick his face. It’s okay, you think. I love you. Everything is going perfectly fine, until Jack - who Jeff was supposed to be keeping an eye on, what the fuck happened to that - comes flying out of the bush and tackles Alex, then you, yipping joyfully and generally acting like an idiot. This was not part of the plan at all. This is actually incredibly counterproductive, because your plan was to get Alex accepted by the pack so everything could be business as usual.
You were kind of hoping, pretty much, that you would get to pretend Jack doesn’t exist. You do it enough at home that you’ve gotten pretty good at it.
But then Jack had to come along and ruin everything again. Rian flattens his ears against his head and growls at the three of you; the others start moving in and you grit your teeth. This… is not going to end well. Oh, this is probably the worst thing that has happened in a very long time because you can see Rian eyeing Alex with a predatory glare you’ve seen once before. Pretty much you had hoped that, uh, if Alex acted submissive enough Rian might just ignore the fact that he is… basically reeking of alpha wolf. And now Jack has essentially just claimed Alex as his pack leader and you, by extension, a member of his pack, which is a very, very bad thing. You could tear his throat out right now. You are so fucking angry at him.
It catches you slightly off-guard when Rian lunges at Jack first. You’re not sure why he’s angry at Jack, or what Jack has done to offend him, but you aren’t surprised when Alex leaps to his defense. The look Alex gives you clearly says I know he’s weird and embarrassing but he’s my best friend and you can’t really fault him for that. Alex growls deep and curls his lips back. He has impressive teeth, you think, as far as teeth go.
The sun is slowly rising. You nip Alex on the shoulder and push your head against his neck. Let’s go, we have to go home, you think. You growl at Jack and bite his back leg. He is the mangiest fucking werewolf you’ve ever seen.
Once everyone is changed and clothed again, Alex looks at you and says, “Well, that wasn’t terrible.”
“Are you fucking insane?” you snap. “Now we have to keep him.” Jack shrinks away. You don’t miss the tears welling up in his eyes; you’re not heartless and you do feel bad for making him cry, but that’s part of being a werewolf, the mood swings, and he just made things a hell of a lot worse for all three of you. You’re allowed to be angry at him.
Considering the last stupid kid who thought he’d make a great pack leader and could start his own pack without knowing the consequences ended up dead on the side of the highway, you’re pretty sure you’re allowed to be angry about all of this. Alex has been a werewolf for a month. He is not leadership material; despite your best efforts he barely knows how to hunt and he is just not equipped for this kind of thing! None of you are!
Jack says, “I’m sorry.” He really means it, too, you can tell. He looks so sad all the time. You wish you could fix him - if not for his sake, then for Alex’s, because Alex is his best friend and therefore if he’s sad, Alex is also sad. And if Alex is sad, then you are sad too. You love him that much. So, even though you kind of hate Jack for the mess he’s caused, you also love him some for being Alex’s best friend.
*
It is so easy to get annoyed with Jack for following Alex around like a lost puppy until you realize that he really can’t help it. You forget sometimes what it’s like to be that new to everything. Finally Alex pulls him aside and says, “Jack, you’ve gotta give us some space for a bit. We’re all tired and I don’t want to fight with anyone right now. I want a nap, and then I want breakfast.” You could kiss him right now. It is mid-morning; you’re exhausted and kind of crabby and you just want to dive into bed with Alex and stay there all day. Alex wraps his arm around your waist and murmurs, “I swear I’m gonna make this up to you as soon as we’re alone.” You lean into him. He’s gained a lot of muscle since he was bitten, a result of which has been the fact that you can’t keep your hands off him lately. His arms are just, like, Jesus Christ. He whispers, “I’ve been thinking about what I want to do to you all morning.”
“Mm,” you sigh. That is a plan you can get behind. “Goodnight, Jack.”
Jack shrugs and curls up on his couch. “’s not really night, but okay.” He won’t be awake much longer, you can tell. Where Alex has gotten more muscle mass, Jack has only gotten lankier. You can count his ribs through his shirt now. He looks so tired all the time. It’s worrisome, but it’s also not your problem right now. He’s not sick, he’s not running a fever or anything but you’ll keep an eye on him all the same. The other thing that worries you is that he hasn’t stopped picking at his skin; he wears long sleeves most of the time to try and hide it, but sometimes you catch a glimpse and seeing what he does to himself makes you worried. You’ve never heard of anyone self-harming like that before - you’re pretty sure that a large percentage of the werewolf population at large must do it, but you’d never be able to tell who because of the healing factor involved - but it’s the fact that Jack scars that’s… off. He scares you, sometimes.
Alex tugs on your hand. “Hey, c’mon. Bed.” When you don’t follow him right away, he grabs you around your waist and throws you over his shoulder. He never used to be able to do that. You laugh and hang on so he won’t drop you. Not that you think he would, it’s just instinct.
“You’re incredible,” you breathe. He lets you fall onto the bed on your back and then straddles your hips, grinning as he kisses you hard. You pull Alex closer, open your mouth to him. “What are you-?” you whine when he pulls away.
He shuts the bedroom door and locks it. “Privacy.” You lie back on the bed and watch him strip out of his clothes. God, he has a nice body, you think. He comes back to the bed, kisses you again; you don’t resist when he undresses you. That would defeat the purpose. “I love you,” Alex whispers against your skin. “I’m sorry you keep getting dragged into my shit. I’m sorry.” His teeth graze the side of your neck. You know exactly how he plans to make it up to you. And you don’t mind at all.
The mattress squeaks with every roll of his hips. It’s good, so good. You wrap your legs around his waist, pull him deeper into you. You think I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Afterward, you doze off for a while. Alex kisses the top of your head and mumbles, “I love you so much.”
“Love you too,” you reply sleepily. “Go to sleep. ‘m tired.” You nuzzle his shoulder and brush your lips over the skin before curling up in his arms for what will hopefully be a good, long nap. Alex squeezes your waist affectionately. It’s good to be home again. It’s good to be with him. He’s going to make a good pack leader, you think, with a little work. He’s likeable, he’s good with people. You’re not sure exactly how it’s going to work with just the three of you, but. It’s not like you haven’t had to work through bigger problems than this over seven years. After all, he’s already survived the first real challenge; you thank God for that because so many new wolves don’t survive the first month. Everything else is peanuts compared to that.
Next