Fic From Ficgames
Title: If You Never Tell Me, I’ll Still Figure It Out.
Rating: R (for one small scene : ( )
Pairing: Jun/?, JunMa, Ohmiya, REALLY squint Tomapi and Sakuraiba
Summary: On his 30th birthday Jun starts getting secret admirer poems and curiously they turn up in the most private of places. Idiotic band mates, Tattle tales, overprotective best friends and a copycat admirer turn his already stressful idol life just that much more stressful.
Prompt: Tell me the news, baby.
Warnings: Poor interpretation of the Shakespearean Sonnets. If you think you shall kill rather than read a less than satisfying interpretation then please Don’t Read. I do apologize I used them to fit my story best and mean no offence.
Notes: I do admit all my fics are greatly stupid and claim no involvement of my atrociously sexy beta camaronzin and thanks to 0_konayuki_0 for stepping in when I was so desperate
On Jun’s 30th birthday he’s expecting the things that he’s always expected.
A drink out with the guys and coming back home to a pile of gifts carefully sorted out by his manager into three groups.
1) From Friends
2) From Fans which would interest him
3) From Fans which he wouldn’t bother opening.
Most of the stuffed toys must have already been bundled together to be sent on over to Aiba’s already. Jun always wonders what in the world Aiba does with all those toys the five of them receive collectively. Aiba claims to have given them to charity. According to Nino’s theory however he conducts secret experiments on them in his basement; even though he does agree more with Neen’s theory no way is he going to contact the government to set up a ‘Protection for Toy Abuse’ board as Nino had further suggested.
Jun cherishes every day that Arashi is famous and going strong so he refuses to be pegged down as some nut job and ruin it all.
Jun picks out the smaller ones and knows that they’re jewellery; stuffs them into another pile to open later. He picks out the rectangular ones next, opening them right away to pick out a book he could curl up around with a coffee mug and read immediately, sends out a ‘thank you’ text with each gift opened. He smiles at the book Toma gives him. How thoughtful of him to remember which book he wanted to read.
Last of all he touches upon Riida’s gift. It’s the largest and it’s the same each year, a portrait of all of them, with added age as the years pass. If you put them side by side, the change in their faces ad bodies is just as prominent as in any other still photo.
He smiles at the portrait as he carefully unwraps it; it’s already laminated and he has some tacks ready to put them up on the board.
Once he’s picking up the mess of the wrappings a small envelope slips out from the folds. It’s a shiny purple; an indecent colour to anyone who doesn’t love purple as much as he does. He opens it without thinking since it’s already in the ‘From Friends” pile.
Out comes a thick brown paper, with an almost burnt texture giving it an ancient feel and there are a few tiny purple flowers as backdrop to an elegant calligraphic writing.
My Love,
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course untrimmed.
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;
Nor shall death brag thou wand'rest in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st,
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
Yours Truly,
Secret Admirer
Huh? A Stalker? Or a prank?
--------------------------------------------------------
“Oi! You bloody bastard! Is this your idea of a joke?”
Jun held out the elegant poem to Nino’s face blocking his vision from his DS.
“What’s the matter with you DoS? Shoving paper into my face while I’m playing! You know interrupting me from a game pisses me off!”
Ohno ran his fingers through Nino’s hair calming the slighter man down as he glared at Jun. The forever 17 year old, 30 year old almost purred as he settled back against Ohno with his DS, forgetting all about Jun and his poem in an instant.
Jun let out an exasperated sigh before plopping down on the nearest couch flicking the purple envelope on the coffee table in front.
“Oooh! Pretty!” Aiba picked it up, fingering the fragile looking yet sturdy paper, “Jun-chan! I don’t understand it!” By this time Sho having run out of things to read jumped at the sight of new material, plucking it out of Aiba’s fingers.
“This is sappy.” He concludes after reading through the poem.
“What is it?” Aiba flails behind Sho, clutching at his hair after a second attempt at reading it.
“Well Jun has an admirer, possibly a stalker.” Sho draws up his theory.
“Or a hoax!” and Jun draws his breath with a steely glare in the preoccupied Nino’s direction.
“Nino come clean, did you do this? Or force other, weaker of mind Johnny’s perhaps one of the Juniors to do it for you?” Jun cheered at the fact that Sho was on his side and that yes it was obvious that Nino sent this or else there would be no way that this would end up in the friend pile of his gifts.
“But what does it mean?!” Aiba screeched desperate.
Sho sighed, “It’s a Shakespearean Sonnet.”
“18 in particular.” Jun added not wanting to lose out to Sho because damn it literature is one topic on which he could surely compete with the older male.
“Yes, Jun it is Sonnet 18. If the admirer is addressing this to Jun then he’s basically trying to say that Jun’s beauty is eternal and unflawed as compared to the other beauties of nature. If it is Nino then probably he’s taking a crack at how Jun is an unrelenting perfectionist.” Sho looked solemnly at the other occupants of the room as though challenging them to disagree. Jun tried to look indignant but heck it is true he is a perfectionist to the point of it being classified as some sort of phobia; who is he to deny his unarguable charms?
Nino clicked his tongue then flipped his DS close, chewing on an end of the pointer, “I can’t concentrate with you people talking about me behind my back!”
“We haven’t been talking behind your back! We’re asking you if you are behind this in any form!”
“NO! Jun, I did NOT send you a love poem. I gave you those onsen passes but obviously someone found a cheaper way to celebrate birthdays. I spend money on you and you suspect me? I wish I sent you that stupid poem; it sure as hell is getting more attention than my thirty thousand yen passes!”
“Then who sent this?” Jun looked to Sho in confusion.
“Stalker or prankster we’ll have to find him.” Sho nodded to Jun matter-of-factly. Aiba cheered in glee.
-------------------------------------------
“You know Sho-chan you don’t really need to find him.” Aiba whined to a highly focused Sho.
“Of course I do, I’m a newscaster!”
“Right you’re a caster NOT a reporter!”
“I do both!”
“Even SO, it’s not like you can tell everyone that Jun has a stalker in the news! I mean what if it is someone we know? Or worse, what if it is Nino but NOT a hoax?”
Sho shuddered, at the terrifying prospect that Aiba just proposed and the fact that Aiba made a perfectly logical progression to his proposal. What happened to unicorn babies galloping here from the magical world of faeries to show their love to the magnificence that is Arashi? I mean has Aiba really grown up from thinking unicorns loved them?
But Sho-chan Unicorns do love us! Why wouldn’t they?
“Or maybe it was the unicorns. They love us, especially Jun because he’s so shiny, you know?”
...Or maybe not.
“I think it’s someone we definitely know. Not just someone we know but I think it’s one of the staff members from our shows.”
“How did you draw that conclusion?” Aiba sighed at the nth theory Sho came up with.
“It’s not just some crazed declaration of love if it’s from someone Jun knows right? No, it’s a declaration of love but if Jun knows this person then this declaration of love is one that the admirer wants to be fulfilled hence, there must be clues to who the admirer really is based on what she sends.”
“I have no idea why you would think that. I mean it could be someone who just loves Jun and knows he likes to read.”
“Great Aiba, that is SO helpful, now we can rule out a third of the Japanese population!”
“Oh...thank you Sho-chan I thought you would totally berate me or something!” Aiba got himself a smack on the head.
“Of course I’m berating you! Plus my theory is much more specific, we have something to work on.”
“Oh...” Aiba rubbed the back of his sore head pouting, “Like what?”
“Like checking out the profiles of the women Jun works with on a regular basis, maybe find out if anyone has keys to his apartment. I mean I’m sure he’s bedded one or the other of the staff, which gives them perfect opportunity to make a copy or steal his spare.” Sho rolled his eyes at Aiba’s blank expression.
“See here. Shakespeare tells his beloved that he has made him eternal by writing about him, right? But there hasn’t been any publication that includes Jun, so I’m guessing it has something to do with recording him. It still makes him eternal after all.”
Aiba nodded in understanding. “So we’re not REALLY newscasters but detectives!”
“Well Aiba...I’m still a newscaster...”
“Oh...right.” Aiba grinned sheepishly.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Ah! Jun go slower, I have dance practice after this.”
“Sorry, can’t baby...mmfh” Jun grunted as his thrusts sped up and his partner moaned despite his better judgment, “Just needed to thank you for that great book.”
Jun’s right hand slid down the narrow waist to wrap around the other’s erection while the other roamed the broad chest.
Moans ricocheted off the walls of the narrow store room as both men reached their climax.
Jun put the used condom in a packet to dispose off in the nearest bin while the other grabbed a tissue roll from the shelf and cleaned both of them thoroughly and their surroundings hastily and stuffed the used paper into the same packet.
Where usually light would flood the dark cupboard when the door would be opened, this time it was blocked by a very pissed off figure tapping his foot on the floor.
“TOMA! JUN! I TOLD YOU BEFORE! YOU NEED TO STOP THIS!” Yamapi screamed not so subtly at the two and Jun cringed at the loud noise he made as Toma tried to shush his so-called best friend.
“Tomo PLEASE! Not so loud!”
“NO! I’ll be loud! You’re old enough to stop playing around! That too right in the building. It could be ANYONE walking in on you two getting it on! Really be more responsible!”
Toma barked in laughter as he ruffled Yamapi’s hair, “Alright Tomo, we’ll be more responsible, won’t we?”
Jun nodded absentmindedly, “Uh yeah sure, careful next time. But I really gotta go now, Arashi filming. Tonight is still on right?”
And Jun ran off from two longing looks.
------------------------------------------
“It’s her.” Sho concluded intelligently
“Who?” Aiba asked excited that Sho had solved the mystery so quickly and expecting no less from his very intelligent friend.
“The girl in the pink shorts who just handed Jun his coffee, look how she’s staring at him. It spells stalker!”
“The AD is staring at him too.” Aiba added with a roll of his eyes irritated that he got excited for nothing, “Come to think of it when you REALLY try to notice it, a lot of people actually stare at Jun.”
“Including Ohno...” Nino added with a bit of annoyance into Sho and Aiba’s conversation glaring at Ohno who was staring at Jun getting his make up done.
“Aww come on Nino, he probably just wants to draw him. Jun is Ohno’s favourite muse after all.”
Nino grunted, “I guess...”
Aiba frowned at Nino whose spirits remained dampened the rest of the shoot.
----------------------------------------------------
“MUAHAHAHAHAHA!” Sho laughed as Aiba ducked behind the sofa he was lounging on a moment before.
“Sho-chan is being crazy.” Aiba whimpered, remembering the time Sho used to start dancing randomly for a long time after he did Quiz Show Two.
“I’m not being crazy, I just got the pink shorts girl’s profile. She had a restraining order set on her before.”
“Oh. By who?”
“Domoto Tsuyoshi. Apparently she used to snoop around the Kinki Kids dressing room.”
“I wonder how she still has her job.” Aiba scratched his head.
“Who cares? She’s our admirer, I’m sure. She has a record and a very obvious crush on our victim.”
Just then the dressing room door flung open.
“Hey guys I got another letter and I don’t think it’s Nino...”
My Love,
A woman's face with nature's own hand painted,
Hast thou, the master mistress of my passion;
A woman's gentle heart, but not acquainted
With shifting change, as is false women's fashion:
An eye more bright than theirs, less false in rolling,
Gilding the object whereupon it gazeth;
A man in hue all hues in his controlling,
Which steals men's eyes and women's souls amazeth.
And for a woman wert thou first created;
Till Nature, as she wrought thee, fell a-doting,
And by addition me of thee defeated,
By adding one thing to my purpose nothing.
But since she prick'd thee out for women's pleasure,
Mine be thy love and thy love's use their treasure
Yours truly,
Secret Admirer
Same paper, same flowers, same neat, graceful handwriting.
“I still don’t see how you ruled Nino out, Jun.”
“Because I found it on him.” Jun fingered the red and purple envelope.
“I’ll repeat my question: How the HELL do you rule Nino out?” Sho screamed.
“You guys! I’m right here! And I’m innocent! God Sho you’re such a pain in the ass!” Nino entered the dressing room in pursuit of Jun’s trail
“Sho, Nino’s not as careless as to leave the envelope lying about incriminating him so very convincingly!”
“I told you! Some one gave it to me!”
“Really? Who?”
“I don’t know! I was playing, okay? I heard a door open in the rehearsal room but I didn’t pay any attention, I mean hundreds of people come in and go out of the room right? I felt a hand brush over my jacket but I didn’t get up to see who it was! I was resting so I thought it was one of you guys...I mean we all like to touch each other, right?”
Sho shuddered, “You have forever impaired my will to touch any of you henceforth. It sounds so very wrong when you say it like that.” Sho wrapped his arms around himself trying to shake off the feeling that Nino’s words evoked. Just then Aiba hugged him from behind making his shriek shrilly.
Nino rolled his eyes at both the hideous accusations and his idiot band mates (but mostly just the latter)
“Listen, I’m not sending Jun love poems. It’s too much work to develop such a lame prank. I mean Jun has SO many stalkers it isn’t even funny. I think whoever is sending this is absolutely serious.”
“That still doesn’t mean we can rule you out.” Sho whispered as though scared of uttering his thought.
“OH C’MON! I’M NOT SUICIDAL!”
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
“So it isn’t Nino.”
“No Sho, it isn’t me.” Nino rolled his eyes, “I wish you’d stop talking about me as though I’m not here.”
“But it is a guy.”
“Eh? How’d you come to that conclusion?”
“Well that would be-
“Sonnet 20” Jun finished for Sho.
“Yes, and to put it simply the admirer says that Jun is as beautiful as a woman.”
“Nice observation.” Nino snickered and Aiba joined in hi-fiving.
“AND that he wishes Jun were a girl.” Sho said sternly as an indication that Nino and Aiba should discontinue their teasing. And they did before Jun’s rings could leave a nice print on their cheeks.
“That still leaves the whole of JE and those who have access to the building.” Nino said as he sobered up.
“Do you think its one of the K-TTUNs?” Aiba asked.
“Yeah maybe it’s that sappy one; Junno.” Sho joined in.
“Hey...where’s Ohno?” Jun suddenly sensed their Leader’s absence.
The other three looked at him, noticing Ohno’s absence all at once.
-------------------------------------------------------------
“I AM NOT STALKING YOU!!” Jun was suddenly faced with a very rare sight of Junno getting mad.
“Huh?”
“And I’M NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU!” He screamed just as furious, “Other than the platonic brotherly love thing, dude.” He added, calming down a little.
“What the hell are you talking about?!”
“Tegoshi’s been going around telling everyone I’m stalking you.”
“WHAT?”
As soon as Jun rushed out of the room all the random people walking around the hall started wolf whistling and making smart comments about him and Junno. Honestly if he wasn’t so angry at Tegoshi right now, he’d strangle the guy singing “Jun and Junno sitting in a tree-” He blocked the rest of the horror out.
He stalked right up to the NewS dressing room.
“Tegoshi Yuya I’m GONNA KILL YOU!”
Tegoshi took one look at him and sprinted for the fire exit outside the window and Ryo lunged at him before he could follow.
---------------------------------------------------
Jun was tired after a whole day of chasing Tegoshi and listening to his whining of But I’m in NewS it’s my job to tell everyone! and further shrill bleats of Noooo. I wasn’t listening at the door!
There’s a lovely shape etched onto Tegoshi’s neck that perfectly resembles the square of his ring and that alone give his troubled mind some solace.
Truth is, he himself became a little curious as to who this inside admirer is. He thinks it would be lucky if it’s someone as attractive as Junno. Maybe, maybe he’d try his hand at a real relationship. After years of running away from the exact same thing Jun felt ready, felt he had reached that level of stability to love someone wholeheartedly; if he couldn’t choose than it might as well be someone who chose him.
Who chose him...that made him feel kind of tingly; it was a feeling of being wanted.
He opened the door to his apartment preoccupied with his thoughts and a shy “Okaeri” surprised him out of his reverie.
Jun smiled, Toma was here already and he was early, maybe he was cooking. The prospect didn’t excite him because Toma cooked particularly well; it just meant he didn’t have to.
“Tadaima.” He whispered softly and laughed when it was reciprocated with a hug. He didn’t let go of the embrace and instead went in for a kiss. Toma’s lips curled into a smile against his and he happily slid his hands from the broad shoulders along the muscular sides and slid his arms around the narrow waist. He sighed happily into the kiss when his hands cupped Toma’s ass; the guy didn’t boast about it without reason, it really was a great ass.
Toma giggled when Jun massaged his behind lightly but he could feel something hard, like a card pricking against his palm and it annoyed it. His hands slid into the back pocket of the jeans ready to pluck the card out and throw it away but before he could flick his wrists, a flash of shiny purple caught his eyes.
Jun’s eyes widened as he realized what it was and Toma’s expression changed from sappy to alarmed, “Jun! I don’t know how that-
“I get it.”
“Jun I’m not-”
“Yeah, I know.”
“What?”
“I found one tucked into the hood of Nino’s parka. The admirer has a tendency to leaving his declarations of love on my friends.” Jun grinned at Toma sheepishly, as though it was his fault his secret admirer used his friends as mail boxes, before carefully prying the glue-tacked cover open, smiling secretly at the way the envelope was rounded slightly in the shape of Toma’s butt.
My Love,
When in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself, and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featur’d like him, like him with friends possess’d,
Desiring this man’s art, and that man’s scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee,-and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven’s gate;
For thy sweet love remember’d such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with king
Yours truly,
Secret Admirer
“Hey Toma, who knew you might meet me today?”
“Probably all of News and I met Yoko today so maybe all of Eito other than that my parents.”
“Hmm...and Arashi knows I’m meeting you.”
“If you’re asking to narrow down the admirer search I’d like to point out that it really isn’t very conclusive. I mean the admirer knows I’d give it to you if and when I find it in my back pocket.”
Jun groaned, “You’re right! This sucks!” and he stalked on over to the couch and plopped down onto it frustrated.
Toma slid a reassuring hand across his shoulder as he joined Jun on the couch.
“I’ll make tea.”
---------------------------------------------------------
“Hey guys I just foun-
“Jun you got another poem!” Aiba exclaimed brandishing a shiny yellow envelope in one hand and a burnt ancient looking paper in another.
“Where did you find that?” Jun asked confused because until then the letters took at least a few days in between to arrive and here were two poems arriving almost at the same time
“It was here when I came in today but Sho-chan says there is something weird about this one!” Aiba said frowning at Sho.
“Yeah well I just got one yesterday.” Jun waved the one he found in Toma’s back pocket in front of the other four reflecting their confused faces.
“You got one yesterday?” Sho questioned, “Then what’s this one?” He handed the paper Aiba was clutching to Jun.
My Love,
In faith, I do not love thee with mine eyes,
For they in thee a thousand errors note;
But 'tis my heart that loves what they despise,
Who, in despite of view, is pleas'd to dote.
Nor are mine ears with thy tongue's tune delighted;
Nor tender feeling, to base touches prone.
Nor taste nor smell desire to be invited
To any sensual feast with thee alone:
But my five wits nor my five senses can
Dissuade one foolish heart from serving thee,
Who leaves unsway'd the likeness of a man,
Thy proud heart's slave and vassal wretch to be:
Only my plague thus far I count my gain,
That she that makes me sin awards me pain
Yours truly,
Secret Admirer
“Well it’s a secret admirer note, alright!” Jun muttered confused.
Sho was still contemplating on it, “But this Sonnet is in discordance with the rest. Jun, do you still have the previous ones?”
Jun pulled out his wallet and pulled out the two previous sonnets carefully tucked into a card holder and handed them to Sho along with the one he received yesterday.
Sho made a strangled, triumphant noise as he pulled out the first poem Jun received, “Look here, this one declared that you’re simply perfect and that one,” Sho pointed to the newest one in the yellow envelope that Aiba was clutching, “ Sonnet 141 says that he has no idea why he likes you because you’re simply brimming with flaws.”
“Maybe he just changed his mind!” Ohno exclaimed suddenly as the other four were deep in thought, catching their surprised attention.
“Riida...this is the first time you’ve shown interest.” Jun exclaimed incredulously.
“Wha-what are you talking about I’ve always been interested!” Ohno pouted at Jun as though he had eaten the last cupcake. Aiba patted Ohno’s head consolingly, draping himself along his side.
“There, there Jun-chan knows you love him, right?” Aiba looked hopefully at Jun.
“Of course I do.” Jun conceded, “But this is still freaking confusing.”
“You guys are a bunch of idiots.” Nino commented dryly.
“What? Why?” Sho was highly offended to be addressed as such.
“Look at the one Aiba found closely.” He added with a roll of his eyes and Aiba suddenly exclaimed happily.
“Nino’s right!!! Look this one has yellow flowers.”
“So...it’s not for me?”
“A copycat admirer.” Sho seemed to conclude.
“Or it’s to throw us off his trail!” Nino exclaimed cynical as ever.
“What trail? We haven’t even-OH! This one’s for NINO!!” Aiba jumped excitedly “The flower and the envelope are yellow!” Aiba kept on jumping though no one was really sure why he was so happy.
“Shut up, it is NOT!”
----------------------------------------
“Spill it.”
Nino had Ohno cornered in an empty room, arms on either side of his head to prevent him from pulling a fast one on him.
“I SAID SPILL IT!” He banged the wall with his palm to intimidate the older man and by the way the other shivered slightly it seemed to have worked.
“It was you! No one else can do calligraphy in JE.”
“No-not true! Many people can do calligraphy! An-and it might have been custom ordered from a shop!”
“But it isn’t, is it now Oh-chan? Cause YOU WROTE THEM!” Nino raised his voice, having enough practice from dramas and movies over the years to know what can be most effectively menacing.
“Fine I DID IT!” Ohno gave in and Nino smirked.
“Do you mind telling me what you plan to do with your crush on Jun?” Nino still kept up that infuriating smug smile as he looked at Ohno pitifully.
“I didn’t send them! Not all of them, I gave most of them to my manager!” Ohno continued when Nino stayed silent, “You know the one Aiba found wasn’t for Jun.” Ohno countered feeling a lot more confident now that Nino wasn’t pressed up against him.
Nino’s gaze snapped up to Ohno’s suddenly very confident one, and the latter held it until Nino had to look away,
“Whatever.”
And he left with Ohno yearning in his wake.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
“Ah so you see Aiba, the one Jun got from Toma yesterday is Sonnet 29. The admirer is telling him that he feels lucky to have him or at least to have had him at one point though his luck on all other things is bad. Even so just because his bad luck involves one good thing and that is Jun, I presume, he wouldn’t like to change his luck with anyone.”
“Oh...So it’s like an ex?”
“Or anyone Jun’s been with romantically or maybe even only physically. The contents of what the admirer refers to as ‘have’ is enormous”
“And it probably also includes all of JE. Maybe I should ask Jun to list people he’s been with.”
“Get it done alphabetically, will ya?”
Aiba nodded, not sure how alphabetizing would help, and he suddenly backtracked, “Wait. What about Nino’s one?”
“I did NOT get any poems!” Nino suddenly appeared beside the two engaged in solemn discussion.
“That one’s for you! Yellow! Your admirer could not have been anymore obvious!” Sho exclaimed taking Aiba’s side.
“OH! Maybe the admirer is playing both you and Jun!” Aiba giggled with the thought and ran out of the room at Nino’s death glare.
“So how did it go?” Sho suddenly asked, shaking Nino out of his reverie.
“How did what go?”
“You said you were going snooping to find out who’s been sending the poems...so any luck?”
Nino looked thoughtfully at Sho for awhile before shaking his head, “No, none at all.”
“Oh that’s too bad. But I think if Jun can list his past sexual ventures we can narrow down the list of possible admirers, though there are no leads on yours as of yet.”
“I don’t have admirers!”
“Why are you so hell bent on denying this? No way is that yellow flowered poem for Jun.”
“I was wondering....” Nino trailed off hoping that it would pique Sho’s interest enough to let the matter of his admirer go.
“What?” And it seemed to be working.
“Have you considered the managers?”
------------------------------------------------------------
Aiba had to spend the last three days compiling Sho’s desired list, just because Jun wouldn’t answer his question of “So Jun-chan who have you been fucking lately?” with anything but a glare. And so he had to ask around, gathering names.
All that was left now was alphabetizing!
Aiba grabbed a towel ready to swipe his sweaty forehead (because this was a hell lot of work!) when a yellow envelope fluttered out of the folds and fell to the ground and he picked it up excitement already bubbling out to the surface and evident on his face.
Nino looked in alarm as Aiba started brandishing the envelope happily above his head until Jun grabbed it from him and tore it open.
It was another one with a yellow flowered background.
My Love,
Love is too young to know what conscience is;
Yet who knows not conscience is born of love?
Then, gentle cheater, urge not my amiss,
Lest guilty of my faults thy sweet self prove:
For, thou betraying me, I do betray
My nobler part to my gross body's treason;
My soul doth tell my body that he may
Triumph in love; flesh stays no father reason;
But, rising at thy name, doth point out thee
As his triumphant prize. Proud of this pride,
He is contented thy poor drudge to be,
To stand in thy affairs, fall by thy side.
No want of conscience hold it that I call
Her 'love' for whose dear love I rise and fall.
Yours truly,
Secret Admirer
“This admirer is a really big piss-off!” Jun exclaimed shoving the paper into Sho’s hand, annoyed at the limelight suddenly shifting onto Nino. His admirer should really call shotgun on confessing through poems or get it trademarked or something
“Yeah Nino, I’m not really sure if he likes you or hates you.” Sho agreed, “His last poem was sort of degrading, but not quite. And this one, well it’s like he’s saying he just wants to have sex with you.”
Nino cringed as Jun continued Sho’s statement, “Yeah, beware, Nino; he could be a rapist!”
“He’s an admirer!” And the room again looked to Ohno surprised at his suspicious involvement in the matter, “I mean...it says he’s an admirer. He signed it with Admirer, so he’s an Admirer.”
“He sounds like a really horny admirer.” Aiba giggled.
“Well that could be true.” Ohno mumbled.
“SHUT UP! NO ONE WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH ME!”
“That’s not true Nino I want to have sex with you.” Aiba consoled.
“Yeah I really wouldn’t mind either.” Jun conceded as well and Nino shuddered.
“Please SHUT UP before my ear drums burst, or worse before I burst them MYSELF!”
Jun looked at Nino disapprovingly, “You’re just jealous my admirer is more appreciative and sweeter.”
“He seems to be more romantic too!” Aiba contributed.
“I agree.” Sho nodded.
“I’m sure Nino’s admirer loves him very much!” Ohno exclaimed again.
Nino stiffened as the other three looked to Ohno curiously, “Riida is acting REALLY weird.”
Jun and Sho nodded suspecting foul play.
----------------------------------------------------------------
“You know who your secret admirer is.”
“The copycat admirer you mean.” Jun felt the need to correct Sho who only rolled his eyes.
Nino smothered the deer-caught-in-the-headlights look off his face before setting the two a scowl.
“And you are completely ignoring him!”
“SO?”
“We know you don’t want to.” For a moment Nino considered punching that all knowing look off Sho’s face.
Nino ended up just turning away
“Oh come one don’t snub us!”
“Especially not when we are completely ignoring the more important admirer who actually is still secret to help you get together with yours!”
“Chew on this Jun: I don’t want to get together with mine!” Nino screeched but before he could huff out the door Sho blocked his path.
“Oh yes you do Nino! We know you like Riida, have liked him for a long time.”
“Or do you want us to recount all your failing relationships to prove it to you?”
“My relationships failed because Johnny is a bitch and he made them fail!” Jun snorted at Nino’s indignant denial.
“Is that what you tell yourself really?” Nino growled at Jun’s cheekiness.
“It’s Riida; Riida who stopped dating because you get upset whenever he does!” Sho started.
“I never-
“Riida who should be married by now or at least have had gone through a few omiais.” Jun continued.
“I didn’t tell him-
“Riida who probably hasn’t even gotten laid in the past six months.” Sho took over.
“I haven’t forbidden him from...wait... how do you know-
“You know what that means don’t you?” Jun asked.
Nino shook his head slowly, unsurely, “That Riida is asexual?”
“NO! Riida is in love with you!”
“And he probably stole the admirer idea as a very messy way to confess when he saw how well it worked with Jun.”
“Yeah! What?! Wait a minute are you insinuating that I like my secret admirer?”
This time Sho paired up with Nino to flash a pitying smile before hooking his arms around the smaller man’s shoulder and walking out the door.
Jun ran after them, “I don’t even KNOW HIM!”
----------------------------------------------------
“Jun-chaaan! You got a secret admirer note!” Aiba and Sho sing-songed to a disbelieving Jun who shook his head disapprovingly to hide the fact that his heart suddenly lifted at the purple peeking out from under his day cream on his dresser.
His insides fluttered as he pulled the paper out from its sheath and his heart warmed at the familiar purple flowered background.
My Love,
The expense of spirit in a waste of shame
Is lust in action: and till action, lust
Is perjur'd, murderous, bloody, full of blame,
Savage, extreme, rude, cruel, not to trust;
Enjoy'd no sooner but despised straight;
Past reason hunted; and no sooner had,
Past reason hated, as a swallow'd bait,
On purpose laid to make the taker mad:
Mad in pursuit and in possession so;
Had, having, and in quest to have, extreme;
A bliss in proof,- and prov'd, a very woe;
Before, a joy propos'd; behind a dream.
All this the world well knows; yet none knows well
To shun the heaven that leads men to this hell.
Yours truly,
Secret Admirer
“Oh! All the admirers are so horny nowadays!” Aiba giggled.
Even Sho smiled as he read it, “Yeah this one is about sex too...Aiba...you understood this?” Sho asked, evidently surprised, embarrassing Aiba who rubbed his nape unsurely.
“Yeah...uh...I guess I researched.” He grinned, “It’s sonnet 129, right?”
“Yeah. But still it’s not as seductive as Oh-I mean Nino’s admirer’s poem. In fact it’s almost as though the admirer hates the lure of sex.”
“So Jun’s admirer doesn’t want to have sex? Oh. Tough luck, man!” Aiba exclaimed disappointedly.
But Nino only smirked, “No, I don’t think that’s it at all. I think our admirer here disapproves Arashi’s youngest member’s promiscuous ways.”
Jun tries to feign innocence.
-------------------------------------
Jun, Aiba and Sho were sighing contentedly all three lying side by side on the floor after a scratching contest over the sofa.
“I can’t believe it all fell into place so perfectly.” Sho sighed speaking slowly as though savouring his words.
“Yes. It’s magical. Jun’s secret admirer spurred Ohno into copying him and boom Ohmiya are happily fucking next door.”
“Well summarized, my friend!” And Sho lifted his hand clutching his imaginary glass of champagne towards Aiba, who clinked his own imaginary glass against Sho’s, before they downed their non-existent drinks down.
“Hey guys...” Jun spoke after another solemn but lazy silence, “You don’t really think they’re fucking next door do you? Cause that would be the NewS dressing room and that would be really weird.”
“Well...as long as they’re fucking somewhere it doesn’t matter.” Aiba, as always, ready to get to the gist of things.
“Maybe it’s a bathroom quickie.”
And Sho raised another imaginary toast to his proposition which Aiba reciprocated eagerly. Jun was beginning to think those two really were getting drunk over fantasy
champagne.
“Bathroom quickies are nice.” Jun nodded finally conceding to the two air-drunk band mates lying down beside him.
“You should definitely do it with yours.” Aiba giggled.
“I don’t know him silly!”
“You do, I’m sure you do somehow. You’ll see it’ll turn out to be someone as close as Ohno.”
Jun thought about Sho’s words.
As close as Ohno, huh?
Truth is Jun had a feeling that it was someone close to him or maybe it was just his wishful thinking. Johnny’s was so strict about relationships that Jun had given up on them long before. But this admirer seemed thoughtful and kind of well...nice. It wouldn’t be bad to be with someone like that, right?
He just hoped that it wasn’t Yamapi. I mean it was just a coincidence that both Yamapi and the secret admirer disapproved his no-strings attached relationships (It just HAD to be!). Romantic dinners spent looking into his dead fish eyes really did not appeal to Jun much. But it could be someone much worse than Yamapi.
Thankfully Jin is in the states.
But really, he wished Aiba and Sho weren’t nearly as incompetent detectives as they were and would find out his admirer’s identity. Maybe, his admirer didn’t really want to be with him?
“Did you know Jun, that your admirer is most probably Oh-chan’s manager?” Suddenly Nino came in cheeks flushed and hair haphazardly fixed. Jun tried to not think about what put him into that state. Maybe if he thought Running...Running...Running! enough times he could convince himself it was because Nino was running. But then Ohno entered behind Nino in much the same state and ruined all of Jun’s chances at an innocently led quarter life.
Nino sat down and scooted away when Ohno occupied the space right beside him, his faint blush brightening again.
Ohno pouted at Nino who was pointedly ignoring him by staring a hole through Aiba’s forehead, “Yeah Jun-kun, I made all those poems you got upon the request of my manager.”
“What!? And you didn’t tell me sooner!” Jun was outraged.
Ohno looked at the blushing Nino and smiled softly, “I’m sorry I was distracted.”
Wrong question...ugh!
“Are there more?”
“I don’t remember...”
“You MADE them!”
Ohno grinned sheepishly and Jun had no choice but to forgive his spacey Leader and concentrate on the information he had at present.
Ohno’s Manager...
Honestly Jun always thought of the man as slightly boring. At 36 he was a just a little older than Oh-chan but acted more like a father. Although Ohno’s disposition was of that that everyone probably other than Nino would like to protect him as a son, his manager was even to him quite fatherly. He chuckled remembering how he used to feed Toma in addition to Ohno during Maou filming.
True that it was difficult to imagine him as a lover but it wasn’t impossible and maybe after the whole elaborate set up of the confession, there might be more to the man than met Jun’s eye.
There definitely was more.
The main idea here was that Jun wasn’t adverse to giving him a try; after all relationships work or they don’t.
Aiba caused a distraction by claiming that he’d create a dust angel and fanned his arms out, flapping them up and down on the floor and Jun realized just then that fuck he’s on the freaking ground and its DIRTY.
Before his cleanliness OCD could kick in Aiba suddenly exclaimed in surprise holding up a small piece of paper that his hands must have come across as he slid them across the ground. Jun snatched it before Sho could get nosy, and peered into the pretty paper with a printed type on it rather than Ohno’s usual elegant calligraphy.
I want to tell you how much I love you
And another print at the back that said At the park at 10
While Sho contemplated on how the paper was slipped under the door without them noticing finally settling on it must have been swooped to Aiba when Nino opened the door earlier, Jun could only think What Park?
But this was a person from JE and probably the vague venue was the most solid proof of it. For the people whose literal second home was this agency building ‘the park’ could only refer to the pathetic field of grass that had been lying almost uselessly across the road to their office building.
Sho was always mourning the economic waste that that useless field was, just sitting there in the heart of the city with a few sporadic trees springing up here and there and one single run down bench that was probably a donation from SMAP when they had their room refurnished.
Even so, people hanging onto the edge of their sanity would go down there for a breather and maybe a smoke. And it was after all a place to just sit and relax so a few old timers and couples hanging around the area weren’t rare either.
Even if Jun had the identity of his secret admirer he had to admit he was a little excited.
It’s been a while since someone other than a screaming girl had said I Love You
----------------------------------------------------------------------
“Hey Jun!”
“Yamapi?”
“Hi!”
“Uh...yeah...hi...”
“You look kind of really happy.” Yamapi observed with a quizzical look in his eyes.
“Uh...yeah maybe cause Sho picked up all the steps within an hour. So it’s like a huge achievement.” Jun smiled brightly, hoping his overly shiny teeth would distract Yamapi’s simple mind and he could run out on him.
He liked Yamapi, really, but right now he was a little preoccupied.
“Hey Jun...” Yamapi started unsurely.
“Yeah?”
“I didn’t hear anymore news about your stalker.”
“It’s not news to be spread! Please explain that to your weasel of a band mate!” Jun almost yelled when he thought about Tegoshi spreading all these preposterous rumours about him.
“Yeah okay...so I guess the admirer has retracted?”
Jun thought about it for a moment. Maybe if he told Yamapi he’d tell everyone or maybe he might really like his admirer and everyone would know anyway. On the other hand he could let Yamapi keep on thinking that someone could actuallylose interest in him
“Well, he asked me to meet him for a proper confession.”
“Oh so...you’re going?”
Jun thought a little about his next answer...he didn’t want to seem too eager. It is a little weird after all to be anticipating meeting a secret admirer.
“I might if I have time. I mean; I’m not dying to meet someone who’s so cowardly that he had to send me anonymous poems.” Jun snorted as if to prove his point, but before he could substantiate that with an affronted exit, Yamapi asked him another question.
“What about Toma?”
“What about him? Listen I know you don’t approve of our risqué trysts but he’s a grown kid, he can take care of himself and he knows the extent to which he can expect commitment from me. Give him more credit will ya?”
“Fine. I just don’t think you should hurt him.” And before he knew it Yamapi walked out on him.
Jun considered that for a moment. Hypothetically if things with the admirer worked out and he wanted to go exclusive he’ll have to break off all his other affairs and that included Toma.
But Toma is a reasonable guy. He wouldn’t be hurt!
...Right?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jun had been stood up.
And honestly as Jun bit down his disappointment after two hours of waiting he wondered why he was even disappointed. Had he really expected a romantic confession out of a person he didn’t know, didn’t know what he even expected. Ohno’s manager popping out of the bushes with a bouquet of flowers?
When did he forget his mother’s warnings of never opening anonymous letters?
Jun felt so, so very stupid right now he felt he could just crawl into a hole and die. He could just feel the practical joker hiding behind a bush and laughing his ass off at him. Jun’s ego was wounded, and badly.
He...he couldn’t believe he fell for it and he couldn’t believe he was hurt.
The park was pitch black. The last giggling laughing couples had left just shortly after he had arrived two hours ago and he waited here alone and in the dark for someone who might as well have ambushed him, drugged him and raped him; or worse drew doodles on his face and post them on youtube to tarnish his impeccably cool and shiny image.
Jun jolted at the rustle of leaves and he turned around in haste only to find...
“Toma?” It was just Toma, his nose prominent in the dim light permeating into the park from the street. It’s okay, his ego was never a problem around Toma. Toma had always accepted him in his highs and lows. Known him when he just started out, when he was nobody. Even now that he was feeling so vulnerable he trusted him.
“Jun?” He could see the confusion he imagined was on his face reflected on Toma’s as well.
“What are you doing here?”
“Nothing.” Toma ducked his head, “I just walk around when I feel kind of stressed, you?”
Why...why is he here? Toma wondered.
“Yeah just walking around, thinking about stuff.”
“ He knows the extent to which he can expect commitment from me.” Yamashita quoting Jun’s words wouldn’t leave his head.
I don’t mean anything to him
“Hey!” Jun almost shouted while waving his arms, the bright purple material almost cutting through the dark, “You there? You’re spacing out”
“Of course. I’m alright and right here.” Toma grinned.
“ I mean I’m not dying to meet someone who’s so cowardly that he had to send me anonymous poems” Those words...they were stuck in his head draining out all courage.
My love means nothing to him.
Jun approached him his face suddenly much clearer under the yellow glow of a street lamp. He looked beautiful; it was a special effect that spot lights dreamed of.
Out of the blue, Jun enveloped him in a hug and sighed, “I don’t...I don’t feel very well.”
I’m sorry. I can’t say it. I’m sorry I can’t tell you it was me.
Jun suddenly cupped his cheeks and caressed them softly, “I know...I know we’re not supposed to get together tonight but just once...a favour really.”
I love you so much
“Can I come over?”
That I don’t want to lose you
“Al-Always”
That I’ll take anything you give me no matter how much I hate it
Toma ducked his head and blushed, the light pink on his cheeks seeming even softer under the dim yellow light and Jun chuckled at the cute way he whispered.
Jun felt laughter bubbling inside when he took Toma’s hand and the latter blushed even brighter. Toma always blushed, he was always so embarrassed. No matter how many times they’d do this Toma would always suffuse bright red and become flustered as he’d unbutton his shirt.
And just like always Toma’s touch would be soft and caring, loving and accepting. He squeezed Toma’s hand tighter caught the edges of a smile appearing and couldn’t help but muster one of his own.
That’s right...with Toma he’s always found acceptance no matter how embarrassed or how reluctant he seemed at first.
Always?
Jun looked at Toma again and they had walked out of the light by this time and nothing was really visible in the darkness that engulfed them. But in the way that Toma’s shuffling was so real, present, warm and comforting beside him that it felt like he was seeing him for the first time.
Jun smiled wider.
Maybe.
Rating: R (for one small scene : ( )
Pairing: Jun/?, JunMa, Ohmiya, REALLY squint Tomapi and Sakuraiba
Summary: On his 30th birthday Jun starts getting secret admirer poems and curiously they turn up in the most private of places. Idiotic band mates, Tattle tales, overprotective best friends and a copycat admirer turn his already stressful idol life just that much more stressful.
Prompt: Tell me the news, baby.
Warnings: Poor interpretation of the Shakespearean Sonnets. If you think you shall kill rather than read a less than satisfying interpretation then please Don’t Read. I do apologize I used them to fit my story best and mean no offence.
Notes: I do admit all my fics are greatly stupid and claim no involvement of my atrociously sexy beta camaronzin and thanks to 0_konayuki_0 for stepping in when I was so desperate
On Jun’s 30th birthday he’s expecting the things that he’s always expected.
A drink out with the guys and coming back home to a pile of gifts carefully sorted out by his manager into three groups.
1) From Friends
2) From Fans which would interest him
3) From Fans which he wouldn’t bother opening.
Most of the stuffed toys must have already been bundled together to be sent on over to Aiba’s already. Jun always wonders what in the world Aiba does with all those toys the five of them receive collectively. Aiba claims to have given them to charity. According to Nino’s theory however he conducts secret experiments on them in his basement; even though he does agree more with Neen’s theory no way is he going to contact the government to set up a ‘Protection for Toy Abuse’ board as Nino had further suggested.
Jun cherishes every day that Arashi is famous and going strong so he refuses to be pegged down as some nut job and ruin it all.
Jun picks out the smaller ones and knows that they’re jewellery; stuffs them into another pile to open later. He picks out the rectangular ones next, opening them right away to pick out a book he could curl up around with a coffee mug and read immediately, sends out a ‘thank you’ text with each gift opened. He smiles at the book Toma gives him. How thoughtful of him to remember which book he wanted to read.
Last of all he touches upon Riida’s gift. It’s the largest and it’s the same each year, a portrait of all of them, with added age as the years pass. If you put them side by side, the change in their faces ad bodies is just as prominent as in any other still photo.
He smiles at the portrait as he carefully unwraps it; it’s already laminated and he has some tacks ready to put them up on the board.
Once he’s picking up the mess of the wrappings a small envelope slips out from the folds. It’s a shiny purple; an indecent colour to anyone who doesn’t love purple as much as he does. He opens it without thinking since it’s already in the ‘From Friends” pile.
Out comes a thick brown paper, with an almost burnt texture giving it an ancient feel and there are a few tiny purple flowers as backdrop to an elegant calligraphic writing.
My Love,
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course untrimmed.
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;
Nor shall death brag thou wand'rest in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st,
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
Yours Truly,
Secret Admirer
Huh? A Stalker? Or a prank?
--------------------------------------------------------
“Oi! You bloody bastard! Is this your idea of a joke?”
Jun held out the elegant poem to Nino’s face blocking his vision from his DS.
“What’s the matter with you DoS? Shoving paper into my face while I’m playing! You know interrupting me from a game pisses me off!”
Ohno ran his fingers through Nino’s hair calming the slighter man down as he glared at Jun. The forever 17 year old, 30 year old almost purred as he settled back against Ohno with his DS, forgetting all about Jun and his poem in an instant.
Jun let out an exasperated sigh before plopping down on the nearest couch flicking the purple envelope on the coffee table in front.
“Oooh! Pretty!” Aiba picked it up, fingering the fragile looking yet sturdy paper, “Jun-chan! I don’t understand it!” By this time Sho having run out of things to read jumped at the sight of new material, plucking it out of Aiba’s fingers.
“This is sappy.” He concludes after reading through the poem.
“What is it?” Aiba flails behind Sho, clutching at his hair after a second attempt at reading it.
“Well Jun has an admirer, possibly a stalker.” Sho draws up his theory.
“Or a hoax!” and Jun draws his breath with a steely glare in the preoccupied Nino’s direction.
“Nino come clean, did you do this? Or force other, weaker of mind Johnny’s perhaps one of the Juniors to do it for you?” Jun cheered at the fact that Sho was on his side and that yes it was obvious that Nino sent this or else there would be no way that this would end up in the friend pile of his gifts.
“But what does it mean?!” Aiba screeched desperate.
Sho sighed, “It’s a Shakespearean Sonnet.”
“18 in particular.” Jun added not wanting to lose out to Sho because damn it literature is one topic on which he could surely compete with the older male.
“Yes, Jun it is Sonnet 18. If the admirer is addressing this to Jun then he’s basically trying to say that Jun’s beauty is eternal and unflawed as compared to the other beauties of nature. If it is Nino then probably he’s taking a crack at how Jun is an unrelenting perfectionist.” Sho looked solemnly at the other occupants of the room as though challenging them to disagree. Jun tried to look indignant but heck it is true he is a perfectionist to the point of it being classified as some sort of phobia; who is he to deny his unarguable charms?
Nino clicked his tongue then flipped his DS close, chewing on an end of the pointer, “I can’t concentrate with you people talking about me behind my back!”
“We haven’t been talking behind your back! We’re asking you if you are behind this in any form!”
“NO! Jun, I did NOT send you a love poem. I gave you those onsen passes but obviously someone found a cheaper way to celebrate birthdays. I spend money on you and you suspect me? I wish I sent you that stupid poem; it sure as hell is getting more attention than my thirty thousand yen passes!”
“Then who sent this?” Jun looked to Sho in confusion.
“Stalker or prankster we’ll have to find him.” Sho nodded to Jun matter-of-factly. Aiba cheered in glee.
-------------------------------------------
“You know Sho-chan you don’t really need to find him.” Aiba whined to a highly focused Sho.
“Of course I do, I’m a newscaster!”
“Right you’re a caster NOT a reporter!”
“I do both!”
“Even SO, it’s not like you can tell everyone that Jun has a stalker in the news! I mean what if it is someone we know? Or worse, what if it is Nino but NOT a hoax?”
Sho shuddered, at the terrifying prospect that Aiba just proposed and the fact that Aiba made a perfectly logical progression to his proposal. What happened to unicorn babies galloping here from the magical world of faeries to show their love to the magnificence that is Arashi? I mean has Aiba really grown up from thinking unicorns loved them?
But Sho-chan Unicorns do love us! Why wouldn’t they?
“Or maybe it was the unicorns. They love us, especially Jun because he’s so shiny, you know?”
...Or maybe not.
“I think it’s someone we definitely know. Not just someone we know but I think it’s one of the staff members from our shows.”
“How did you draw that conclusion?” Aiba sighed at the nth theory Sho came up with.
“It’s not just some crazed declaration of love if it’s from someone Jun knows right? No, it’s a declaration of love but if Jun knows this person then this declaration of love is one that the admirer wants to be fulfilled hence, there must be clues to who the admirer really is based on what she sends.”
“I have no idea why you would think that. I mean it could be someone who just loves Jun and knows he likes to read.”
“Great Aiba, that is SO helpful, now we can rule out a third of the Japanese population!”
“Oh...thank you Sho-chan I thought you would totally berate me or something!” Aiba got himself a smack on the head.
“Of course I’m berating you! Plus my theory is much more specific, we have something to work on.”
“Oh...” Aiba rubbed the back of his sore head pouting, “Like what?”
“Like checking out the profiles of the women Jun works with on a regular basis, maybe find out if anyone has keys to his apartment. I mean I’m sure he’s bedded one or the other of the staff, which gives them perfect opportunity to make a copy or steal his spare.” Sho rolled his eyes at Aiba’s blank expression.
“See here. Shakespeare tells his beloved that he has made him eternal by writing about him, right? But there hasn’t been any publication that includes Jun, so I’m guessing it has something to do with recording him. It still makes him eternal after all.”
Aiba nodded in understanding. “So we’re not REALLY newscasters but detectives!”
“Well Aiba...I’m still a newscaster...”
“Oh...right.” Aiba grinned sheepishly.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Ah! Jun go slower, I have dance practice after this.”
“Sorry, can’t baby...mmfh” Jun grunted as his thrusts sped up and his partner moaned despite his better judgment, “Just needed to thank you for that great book.”
Jun’s right hand slid down the narrow waist to wrap around the other’s erection while the other roamed the broad chest.
Moans ricocheted off the walls of the narrow store room as both men reached their climax.
Jun put the used condom in a packet to dispose off in the nearest bin while the other grabbed a tissue roll from the shelf and cleaned both of them thoroughly and their surroundings hastily and stuffed the used paper into the same packet.
Where usually light would flood the dark cupboard when the door would be opened, this time it was blocked by a very pissed off figure tapping his foot on the floor.
“TOMA! JUN! I TOLD YOU BEFORE! YOU NEED TO STOP THIS!” Yamapi screamed not so subtly at the two and Jun cringed at the loud noise he made as Toma tried to shush his so-called best friend.
“Tomo PLEASE! Not so loud!”
“NO! I’ll be loud! You’re old enough to stop playing around! That too right in the building. It could be ANYONE walking in on you two getting it on! Really be more responsible!”
Toma barked in laughter as he ruffled Yamapi’s hair, “Alright Tomo, we’ll be more responsible, won’t we?”
Jun nodded absentmindedly, “Uh yeah sure, careful next time. But I really gotta go now, Arashi filming. Tonight is still on right?”
And Jun ran off from two longing looks.
------------------------------------------
“It’s her.” Sho concluded intelligently
“Who?” Aiba asked excited that Sho had solved the mystery so quickly and expecting no less from his very intelligent friend.
“The girl in the pink shorts who just handed Jun his coffee, look how she’s staring at him. It spells stalker!”
“The AD is staring at him too.” Aiba added with a roll of his eyes irritated that he got excited for nothing, “Come to think of it when you REALLY try to notice it, a lot of people actually stare at Jun.”
“Including Ohno...” Nino added with a bit of annoyance into Sho and Aiba’s conversation glaring at Ohno who was staring at Jun getting his make up done.
“Aww come on Nino, he probably just wants to draw him. Jun is Ohno’s favourite muse after all.”
Nino grunted, “I guess...”
Aiba frowned at Nino whose spirits remained dampened the rest of the shoot.
----------------------------------------------------
“MUAHAHAHAHAHA!” Sho laughed as Aiba ducked behind the sofa he was lounging on a moment before.
“Sho-chan is being crazy.” Aiba whimpered, remembering the time Sho used to start dancing randomly for a long time after he did Quiz Show Two.
“I’m not being crazy, I just got the pink shorts girl’s profile. She had a restraining order set on her before.”
“Oh. By who?”
“Domoto Tsuyoshi. Apparently she used to snoop around the Kinki Kids dressing room.”
“I wonder how she still has her job.” Aiba scratched his head.
“Who cares? She’s our admirer, I’m sure. She has a record and a very obvious crush on our victim.”
Just then the dressing room door flung open.
“Hey guys I got another letter and I don’t think it’s Nino...”
My Love,
A woman's face with nature's own hand painted,
Hast thou, the master mistress of my passion;
A woman's gentle heart, but not acquainted
With shifting change, as is false women's fashion:
An eye more bright than theirs, less false in rolling,
Gilding the object whereupon it gazeth;
A man in hue all hues in his controlling,
Which steals men's eyes and women's souls amazeth.
And for a woman wert thou first created;
Till Nature, as she wrought thee, fell a-doting,
And by addition me of thee defeated,
By adding one thing to my purpose nothing.
But since she prick'd thee out for women's pleasure,
Mine be thy love and thy love's use their treasure
Yours truly,
Secret Admirer
Same paper, same flowers, same neat, graceful handwriting.
“I still don’t see how you ruled Nino out, Jun.”
“Because I found it on him.” Jun fingered the red and purple envelope.
“I’ll repeat my question: How the HELL do you rule Nino out?” Sho screamed.
“You guys! I’m right here! And I’m innocent! God Sho you’re such a pain in the ass!” Nino entered the dressing room in pursuit of Jun’s trail
“Sho, Nino’s not as careless as to leave the envelope lying about incriminating him so very convincingly!”
“I told you! Some one gave it to me!”
“Really? Who?”
“I don’t know! I was playing, okay? I heard a door open in the rehearsal room but I didn’t pay any attention, I mean hundreds of people come in and go out of the room right? I felt a hand brush over my jacket but I didn’t get up to see who it was! I was resting so I thought it was one of you guys...I mean we all like to touch each other, right?”
Sho shuddered, “You have forever impaired my will to touch any of you henceforth. It sounds so very wrong when you say it like that.” Sho wrapped his arms around himself trying to shake off the feeling that Nino’s words evoked. Just then Aiba hugged him from behind making his shriek shrilly.
Nino rolled his eyes at both the hideous accusations and his idiot band mates (but mostly just the latter)
“Listen, I’m not sending Jun love poems. It’s too much work to develop such a lame prank. I mean Jun has SO many stalkers it isn’t even funny. I think whoever is sending this is absolutely serious.”
“That still doesn’t mean we can rule you out.” Sho whispered as though scared of uttering his thought.
“OH C’MON! I’M NOT SUICIDAL!”
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
“So it isn’t Nino.”
“No Sho, it isn’t me.” Nino rolled his eyes, “I wish you’d stop talking about me as though I’m not here.”
“But it is a guy.”
“Eh? How’d you come to that conclusion?”
“Well that would be-
“Sonnet 20” Jun finished for Sho.
“Yes, and to put it simply the admirer says that Jun is as beautiful as a woman.”
“Nice observation.” Nino snickered and Aiba joined in hi-fiving.
“AND that he wishes Jun were a girl.” Sho said sternly as an indication that Nino and Aiba should discontinue their teasing. And they did before Jun’s rings could leave a nice print on their cheeks.
“That still leaves the whole of JE and those who have access to the building.” Nino said as he sobered up.
“Do you think its one of the K-TTUNs?” Aiba asked.
“Yeah maybe it’s that sappy one; Junno.” Sho joined in.
“Hey...where’s Ohno?” Jun suddenly sensed their Leader’s absence.
The other three looked at him, noticing Ohno’s absence all at once.
-------------------------------------------------------------
“I AM NOT STALKING YOU!!” Jun was suddenly faced with a very rare sight of Junno getting mad.
“Huh?”
“And I’M NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU!” He screamed just as furious, “Other than the platonic brotherly love thing, dude.” He added, calming down a little.
“What the hell are you talking about?!”
“Tegoshi’s been going around telling everyone I’m stalking you.”
“WHAT?”
As soon as Jun rushed out of the room all the random people walking around the hall started wolf whistling and making smart comments about him and Junno. Honestly if he wasn’t so angry at Tegoshi right now, he’d strangle the guy singing “Jun and Junno sitting in a tree-” He blocked the rest of the horror out.
He stalked right up to the NewS dressing room.
“Tegoshi Yuya I’m GONNA KILL YOU!”
Tegoshi took one look at him and sprinted for the fire exit outside the window and Ryo lunged at him before he could follow.
---------------------------------------------------
Jun was tired after a whole day of chasing Tegoshi and listening to his whining of But I’m in NewS it’s my job to tell everyone! and further shrill bleats of Noooo. I wasn’t listening at the door!
There’s a lovely shape etched onto Tegoshi’s neck that perfectly resembles the square of his ring and that alone give his troubled mind some solace.
Truth is, he himself became a little curious as to who this inside admirer is. He thinks it would be lucky if it’s someone as attractive as Junno. Maybe, maybe he’d try his hand at a real relationship. After years of running away from the exact same thing Jun felt ready, felt he had reached that level of stability to love someone wholeheartedly; if he couldn’t choose than it might as well be someone who chose him.
Who chose him...that made him feel kind of tingly; it was a feeling of being wanted.
He opened the door to his apartment preoccupied with his thoughts and a shy “Okaeri” surprised him out of his reverie.
Jun smiled, Toma was here already and he was early, maybe he was cooking. The prospect didn’t excite him because Toma cooked particularly well; it just meant he didn’t have to.
“Tadaima.” He whispered softly and laughed when it was reciprocated with a hug. He didn’t let go of the embrace and instead went in for a kiss. Toma’s lips curled into a smile against his and he happily slid his hands from the broad shoulders along the muscular sides and slid his arms around the narrow waist. He sighed happily into the kiss when his hands cupped Toma’s ass; the guy didn’t boast about it without reason, it really was a great ass.
Toma giggled when Jun massaged his behind lightly but he could feel something hard, like a card pricking against his palm and it annoyed it. His hands slid into the back pocket of the jeans ready to pluck the card out and throw it away but before he could flick his wrists, a flash of shiny purple caught his eyes.
Jun’s eyes widened as he realized what it was and Toma’s expression changed from sappy to alarmed, “Jun! I don’t know how that-
“I get it.”
“Jun I’m not-”
“Yeah, I know.”
“What?”
“I found one tucked into the hood of Nino’s parka. The admirer has a tendency to leaving his declarations of love on my friends.” Jun grinned at Toma sheepishly, as though it was his fault his secret admirer used his friends as mail boxes, before carefully prying the glue-tacked cover open, smiling secretly at the way the envelope was rounded slightly in the shape of Toma’s butt.
My Love,
When in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself, and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featur’d like him, like him with friends possess’d,
Desiring this man’s art, and that man’s scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee,-and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven’s gate;
For thy sweet love remember’d such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with king
Yours truly,
Secret Admirer
“Hey Toma, who knew you might meet me today?”
“Probably all of News and I met Yoko today so maybe all of Eito other than that my parents.”
“Hmm...and Arashi knows I’m meeting you.”
“If you’re asking to narrow down the admirer search I’d like to point out that it really isn’t very conclusive. I mean the admirer knows I’d give it to you if and when I find it in my back pocket.”
Jun groaned, “You’re right! This sucks!” and he stalked on over to the couch and plopped down onto it frustrated.
Toma slid a reassuring hand across his shoulder as he joined Jun on the couch.
“I’ll make tea.”
---------------------------------------------------------
“Hey guys I just foun-
“Jun you got another poem!” Aiba exclaimed brandishing a shiny yellow envelope in one hand and a burnt ancient looking paper in another.
“Where did you find that?” Jun asked confused because until then the letters took at least a few days in between to arrive and here were two poems arriving almost at the same time
“It was here when I came in today but Sho-chan says there is something weird about this one!” Aiba said frowning at Sho.
“Yeah well I just got one yesterday.” Jun waved the one he found in Toma’s back pocket in front of the other four reflecting their confused faces.
“You got one yesterday?” Sho questioned, “Then what’s this one?” He handed the paper Aiba was clutching to Jun.
My Love,
In faith, I do not love thee with mine eyes,
For they in thee a thousand errors note;
But 'tis my heart that loves what they despise,
Who, in despite of view, is pleas'd to dote.
Nor are mine ears with thy tongue's tune delighted;
Nor tender feeling, to base touches prone.
Nor taste nor smell desire to be invited
To any sensual feast with thee alone:
But my five wits nor my five senses can
Dissuade one foolish heart from serving thee,
Who leaves unsway'd the likeness of a man,
Thy proud heart's slave and vassal wretch to be:
Only my plague thus far I count my gain,
That she that makes me sin awards me pain
Yours truly,
Secret Admirer
“Well it’s a secret admirer note, alright!” Jun muttered confused.
Sho was still contemplating on it, “But this Sonnet is in discordance with the rest. Jun, do you still have the previous ones?”
Jun pulled out his wallet and pulled out the two previous sonnets carefully tucked into a card holder and handed them to Sho along with the one he received yesterday.
Sho made a strangled, triumphant noise as he pulled out the first poem Jun received, “Look here, this one declared that you’re simply perfect and that one,” Sho pointed to the newest one in the yellow envelope that Aiba was clutching, “ Sonnet 141 says that he has no idea why he likes you because you’re simply brimming with flaws.”
“Maybe he just changed his mind!” Ohno exclaimed suddenly as the other four were deep in thought, catching their surprised attention.
“Riida...this is the first time you’ve shown interest.” Jun exclaimed incredulously.
“Wha-what are you talking about I’ve always been interested!” Ohno pouted at Jun as though he had eaten the last cupcake. Aiba patted Ohno’s head consolingly, draping himself along his side.
“There, there Jun-chan knows you love him, right?” Aiba looked hopefully at Jun.
“Of course I do.” Jun conceded, “But this is still freaking confusing.”
“You guys are a bunch of idiots.” Nino commented dryly.
“What? Why?” Sho was highly offended to be addressed as such.
“Look at the one Aiba found closely.” He added with a roll of his eyes and Aiba suddenly exclaimed happily.
“Nino’s right!!! Look this one has yellow flowers.”
“So...it’s not for me?”
“A copycat admirer.” Sho seemed to conclude.
“Or it’s to throw us off his trail!” Nino exclaimed cynical as ever.
“What trail? We haven’t even-OH! This one’s for NINO!!” Aiba jumped excitedly “The flower and the envelope are yellow!” Aiba kept on jumping though no one was really sure why he was so happy.
“Shut up, it is NOT!”
----------------------------------------
“Spill it.”
Nino had Ohno cornered in an empty room, arms on either side of his head to prevent him from pulling a fast one on him.
“I SAID SPILL IT!” He banged the wall with his palm to intimidate the older man and by the way the other shivered slightly it seemed to have worked.
“It was you! No one else can do calligraphy in JE.”
“No-not true! Many people can do calligraphy! An-and it might have been custom ordered from a shop!”
“But it isn’t, is it now Oh-chan? Cause YOU WROTE THEM!” Nino raised his voice, having enough practice from dramas and movies over the years to know what can be most effectively menacing.
“Fine I DID IT!” Ohno gave in and Nino smirked.
“Do you mind telling me what you plan to do with your crush on Jun?” Nino still kept up that infuriating smug smile as he looked at Ohno pitifully.
“I didn’t send them! Not all of them, I gave most of them to my manager!” Ohno continued when Nino stayed silent, “You know the one Aiba found wasn’t for Jun.” Ohno countered feeling a lot more confident now that Nino wasn’t pressed up against him.
Nino’s gaze snapped up to Ohno’s suddenly very confident one, and the latter held it until Nino had to look away,
“Whatever.”
And he left with Ohno yearning in his wake.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
“Ah so you see Aiba, the one Jun got from Toma yesterday is Sonnet 29. The admirer is telling him that he feels lucky to have him or at least to have had him at one point though his luck on all other things is bad. Even so just because his bad luck involves one good thing and that is Jun, I presume, he wouldn’t like to change his luck with anyone.”
“Oh...So it’s like an ex?”
“Or anyone Jun’s been with romantically or maybe even only physically. The contents of what the admirer refers to as ‘have’ is enormous”
“And it probably also includes all of JE. Maybe I should ask Jun to list people he’s been with.”
“Get it done alphabetically, will ya?”
Aiba nodded, not sure how alphabetizing would help, and he suddenly backtracked, “Wait. What about Nino’s one?”
“I did NOT get any poems!” Nino suddenly appeared beside the two engaged in solemn discussion.
“That one’s for you! Yellow! Your admirer could not have been anymore obvious!” Sho exclaimed taking Aiba’s side.
“OH! Maybe the admirer is playing both you and Jun!” Aiba giggled with the thought and ran out of the room at Nino’s death glare.
“So how did it go?” Sho suddenly asked, shaking Nino out of his reverie.
“How did what go?”
“You said you were going snooping to find out who’s been sending the poems...so any luck?”
Nino looked thoughtfully at Sho for awhile before shaking his head, “No, none at all.”
“Oh that’s too bad. But I think if Jun can list his past sexual ventures we can narrow down the list of possible admirers, though there are no leads on yours as of yet.”
“I don’t have admirers!”
“Why are you so hell bent on denying this? No way is that yellow flowered poem for Jun.”
“I was wondering....” Nino trailed off hoping that it would pique Sho’s interest enough to let the matter of his admirer go.
“What?” And it seemed to be working.
“Have you considered the managers?”
------------------------------------------------------------
Aiba had to spend the last three days compiling Sho’s desired list, just because Jun wouldn’t answer his question of “So Jun-chan who have you been fucking lately?” with anything but a glare. And so he had to ask around, gathering names.
All that was left now was alphabetizing!
Aiba grabbed a towel ready to swipe his sweaty forehead (because this was a hell lot of work!) when a yellow envelope fluttered out of the folds and fell to the ground and he picked it up excitement already bubbling out to the surface and evident on his face.
Nino looked in alarm as Aiba started brandishing the envelope happily above his head until Jun grabbed it from him and tore it open.
It was another one with a yellow flowered background.
My Love,
Love is too young to know what conscience is;
Yet who knows not conscience is born of love?
Then, gentle cheater, urge not my amiss,
Lest guilty of my faults thy sweet self prove:
For, thou betraying me, I do betray
My nobler part to my gross body's treason;
My soul doth tell my body that he may
Triumph in love; flesh stays no father reason;
But, rising at thy name, doth point out thee
As his triumphant prize. Proud of this pride,
He is contented thy poor drudge to be,
To stand in thy affairs, fall by thy side.
No want of conscience hold it that I call
Her 'love' for whose dear love I rise and fall.
Yours truly,
Secret Admirer
“This admirer is a really big piss-off!” Jun exclaimed shoving the paper into Sho’s hand, annoyed at the limelight suddenly shifting onto Nino. His admirer should really call shotgun on confessing through poems or get it trademarked or something
“Yeah Nino, I’m not really sure if he likes you or hates you.” Sho agreed, “His last poem was sort of degrading, but not quite. And this one, well it’s like he’s saying he just wants to have sex with you.”
Nino cringed as Jun continued Sho’s statement, “Yeah, beware, Nino; he could be a rapist!”
“He’s an admirer!” And the room again looked to Ohno surprised at his suspicious involvement in the matter, “I mean...it says he’s an admirer. He signed it with Admirer, so he’s an Admirer.”
“He sounds like a really horny admirer.” Aiba giggled.
“Well that could be true.” Ohno mumbled.
“SHUT UP! NO ONE WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH ME!”
“That’s not true Nino I want to have sex with you.” Aiba consoled.
“Yeah I really wouldn’t mind either.” Jun conceded as well and Nino shuddered.
“Please SHUT UP before my ear drums burst, or worse before I burst them MYSELF!”
Jun looked at Nino disapprovingly, “You’re just jealous my admirer is more appreciative and sweeter.”
“He seems to be more romantic too!” Aiba contributed.
“I agree.” Sho nodded.
“I’m sure Nino’s admirer loves him very much!” Ohno exclaimed again.
Nino stiffened as the other three looked to Ohno curiously, “Riida is acting REALLY weird.”
Jun and Sho nodded suspecting foul play.
----------------------------------------------------------------
“You know who your secret admirer is.”
“The copycat admirer you mean.” Jun felt the need to correct Sho who only rolled his eyes.
Nino smothered the deer-caught-in-the-headlights look off his face before setting the two a scowl.
“And you are completely ignoring him!”
“SO?”
“We know you don’t want to.” For a moment Nino considered punching that all knowing look off Sho’s face.
Nino ended up just turning away
“Oh come one don’t snub us!”
“Especially not when we are completely ignoring the more important admirer who actually is still secret to help you get together with yours!”
“Chew on this Jun: I don’t want to get together with mine!” Nino screeched but before he could huff out the door Sho blocked his path.
“Oh yes you do Nino! We know you like Riida, have liked him for a long time.”
“Or do you want us to recount all your failing relationships to prove it to you?”
“My relationships failed because Johnny is a bitch and he made them fail!” Jun snorted at Nino’s indignant denial.
“Is that what you tell yourself really?” Nino growled at Jun’s cheekiness.
“It’s Riida; Riida who stopped dating because you get upset whenever he does!” Sho started.
“I never-
“Riida who should be married by now or at least have had gone through a few omiais.” Jun continued.
“I didn’t tell him-
“Riida who probably hasn’t even gotten laid in the past six months.” Sho took over.
“I haven’t forbidden him from...wait... how do you know-
“You know what that means don’t you?” Jun asked.
Nino shook his head slowly, unsurely, “That Riida is asexual?”
“NO! Riida is in love with you!”
“And he probably stole the admirer idea as a very messy way to confess when he saw how well it worked with Jun.”
“Yeah! What?! Wait a minute are you insinuating that I like my secret admirer?”
This time Sho paired up with Nino to flash a pitying smile before hooking his arms around the smaller man’s shoulder and walking out the door.
Jun ran after them, “I don’t even KNOW HIM!”
----------------------------------------------------
“Jun-chaaan! You got a secret admirer note!” Aiba and Sho sing-songed to a disbelieving Jun who shook his head disapprovingly to hide the fact that his heart suddenly lifted at the purple peeking out from under his day cream on his dresser.
His insides fluttered as he pulled the paper out from its sheath and his heart warmed at the familiar purple flowered background.
My Love,
The expense of spirit in a waste of shame
Is lust in action: and till action, lust
Is perjur'd, murderous, bloody, full of blame,
Savage, extreme, rude, cruel, not to trust;
Enjoy'd no sooner but despised straight;
Past reason hunted; and no sooner had,
Past reason hated, as a swallow'd bait,
On purpose laid to make the taker mad:
Mad in pursuit and in possession so;
Had, having, and in quest to have, extreme;
A bliss in proof,- and prov'd, a very woe;
Before, a joy propos'd; behind a dream.
All this the world well knows; yet none knows well
To shun the heaven that leads men to this hell.
Yours truly,
Secret Admirer
“Oh! All the admirers are so horny nowadays!” Aiba giggled.
Even Sho smiled as he read it, “Yeah this one is about sex too...Aiba...you understood this?” Sho asked, evidently surprised, embarrassing Aiba who rubbed his nape unsurely.
“Yeah...uh...I guess I researched.” He grinned, “It’s sonnet 129, right?”
“Yeah. But still it’s not as seductive as Oh-I mean Nino’s admirer’s poem. In fact it’s almost as though the admirer hates the lure of sex.”
“So Jun’s admirer doesn’t want to have sex? Oh. Tough luck, man!” Aiba exclaimed disappointedly.
But Nino only smirked, “No, I don’t think that’s it at all. I think our admirer here disapproves Arashi’s youngest member’s promiscuous ways.”
Jun tries to feign innocence.
-------------------------------------
Jun, Aiba and Sho were sighing contentedly all three lying side by side on the floor after a scratching contest over the sofa.
“I can’t believe it all fell into place so perfectly.” Sho sighed speaking slowly as though savouring his words.
“Yes. It’s magical. Jun’s secret admirer spurred Ohno into copying him and boom Ohmiya are happily fucking next door.”
“Well summarized, my friend!” And Sho lifted his hand clutching his imaginary glass of champagne towards Aiba, who clinked his own imaginary glass against Sho’s, before they downed their non-existent drinks down.
“Hey guys...” Jun spoke after another solemn but lazy silence, “You don’t really think they’re fucking next door do you? Cause that would be the NewS dressing room and that would be really weird.”
“Well...as long as they’re fucking somewhere it doesn’t matter.” Aiba, as always, ready to get to the gist of things.
“Maybe it’s a bathroom quickie.”
And Sho raised another imaginary toast to his proposition which Aiba reciprocated eagerly. Jun was beginning to think those two really were getting drunk over fantasy
champagne.
“Bathroom quickies are nice.” Jun nodded finally conceding to the two air-drunk band mates lying down beside him.
“You should definitely do it with yours.” Aiba giggled.
“I don’t know him silly!”
“You do, I’m sure you do somehow. You’ll see it’ll turn out to be someone as close as Ohno.”
Jun thought about Sho’s words.
As close as Ohno, huh?
Truth is Jun had a feeling that it was someone close to him or maybe it was just his wishful thinking. Johnny’s was so strict about relationships that Jun had given up on them long before. But this admirer seemed thoughtful and kind of well...nice. It wouldn’t be bad to be with someone like that, right?
He just hoped that it wasn’t Yamapi. I mean it was just a coincidence that both Yamapi and the secret admirer disapproved his no-strings attached relationships (It just HAD to be!). Romantic dinners spent looking into his dead fish eyes really did not appeal to Jun much. But it could be someone much worse than Yamapi.
Thankfully Jin is in the states.
But really, he wished Aiba and Sho weren’t nearly as incompetent detectives as they were and would find out his admirer’s identity. Maybe, his admirer didn’t really want to be with him?
“Did you know Jun, that your admirer is most probably Oh-chan’s manager?” Suddenly Nino came in cheeks flushed and hair haphazardly fixed. Jun tried to not think about what put him into that state. Maybe if he thought Running...Running...Running! enough times he could convince himself it was because Nino was running. But then Ohno entered behind Nino in much the same state and ruined all of Jun’s chances at an innocently led quarter life.
Nino sat down and scooted away when Ohno occupied the space right beside him, his faint blush brightening again.
Ohno pouted at Nino who was pointedly ignoring him by staring a hole through Aiba’s forehead, “Yeah Jun-kun, I made all those poems you got upon the request of my manager.”
“What!? And you didn’t tell me sooner!” Jun was outraged.
Ohno looked at the blushing Nino and smiled softly, “I’m sorry I was distracted.”
Wrong question...ugh!
“Are there more?”
“I don’t remember...”
“You MADE them!”
Ohno grinned sheepishly and Jun had no choice but to forgive his spacey Leader and concentrate on the information he had at present.
Ohno’s Manager...
Honestly Jun always thought of the man as slightly boring. At 36 he was a just a little older than Oh-chan but acted more like a father. Although Ohno’s disposition was of that that everyone probably other than Nino would like to protect him as a son, his manager was even to him quite fatherly. He chuckled remembering how he used to feed Toma in addition to Ohno during Maou filming.
True that it was difficult to imagine him as a lover but it wasn’t impossible and maybe after the whole elaborate set up of the confession, there might be more to the man than met Jun’s eye.
There definitely was more.
The main idea here was that Jun wasn’t adverse to giving him a try; after all relationships work or they don’t.
Aiba caused a distraction by claiming that he’d create a dust angel and fanned his arms out, flapping them up and down on the floor and Jun realized just then that fuck he’s on the freaking ground and its DIRTY.
Before his cleanliness OCD could kick in Aiba suddenly exclaimed in surprise holding up a small piece of paper that his hands must have come across as he slid them across the ground. Jun snatched it before Sho could get nosy, and peered into the pretty paper with a printed type on it rather than Ohno’s usual elegant calligraphy.
I want to tell you how much I love you
And another print at the back that said At the park at 10
While Sho contemplated on how the paper was slipped under the door without them noticing finally settling on it must have been swooped to Aiba when Nino opened the door earlier, Jun could only think What Park?
But this was a person from JE and probably the vague venue was the most solid proof of it. For the people whose literal second home was this agency building ‘the park’ could only refer to the pathetic field of grass that had been lying almost uselessly across the road to their office building.
Sho was always mourning the economic waste that that useless field was, just sitting there in the heart of the city with a few sporadic trees springing up here and there and one single run down bench that was probably a donation from SMAP when they had their room refurnished.
Even so, people hanging onto the edge of their sanity would go down there for a breather and maybe a smoke. And it was after all a place to just sit and relax so a few old timers and couples hanging around the area weren’t rare either.
Even if Jun had the identity of his secret admirer he had to admit he was a little excited.
It’s been a while since someone other than a screaming girl had said I Love You
----------------------------------------------------------------------
“Hey Jun!”
“Yamapi?”
“Hi!”
“Uh...yeah...hi...”
“You look kind of really happy.” Yamapi observed with a quizzical look in his eyes.
“Uh...yeah maybe cause Sho picked up all the steps within an hour. So it’s like a huge achievement.” Jun smiled brightly, hoping his overly shiny teeth would distract Yamapi’s simple mind and he could run out on him.
He liked Yamapi, really, but right now he was a little preoccupied.
“Hey Jun...” Yamapi started unsurely.
“Yeah?”
“I didn’t hear anymore news about your stalker.”
“It’s not news to be spread! Please explain that to your weasel of a band mate!” Jun almost yelled when he thought about Tegoshi spreading all these preposterous rumours about him.
“Yeah okay...so I guess the admirer has retracted?”
Jun thought about it for a moment. Maybe if he told Yamapi he’d tell everyone or maybe he might really like his admirer and everyone would know anyway. On the other hand he could let Yamapi keep on thinking that someone could actuallylose interest in him
“Well, he asked me to meet him for a proper confession.”
“Oh so...you’re going?”
Jun thought a little about his next answer...he didn’t want to seem too eager. It is a little weird after all to be anticipating meeting a secret admirer.
“I might if I have time. I mean; I’m not dying to meet someone who’s so cowardly that he had to send me anonymous poems.” Jun snorted as if to prove his point, but before he could substantiate that with an affronted exit, Yamapi asked him another question.
“What about Toma?”
“What about him? Listen I know you don’t approve of our risqué trysts but he’s a grown kid, he can take care of himself and he knows the extent to which he can expect commitment from me. Give him more credit will ya?”
“Fine. I just don’t think you should hurt him.” And before he knew it Yamapi walked out on him.
Jun considered that for a moment. Hypothetically if things with the admirer worked out and he wanted to go exclusive he’ll have to break off all his other affairs and that included Toma.
But Toma is a reasonable guy. He wouldn’t be hurt!
...Right?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jun had been stood up.
And honestly as Jun bit down his disappointment after two hours of waiting he wondered why he was even disappointed. Had he really expected a romantic confession out of a person he didn’t know, didn’t know what he even expected. Ohno’s manager popping out of the bushes with a bouquet of flowers?
When did he forget his mother’s warnings of never opening anonymous letters?
Jun felt so, so very stupid right now he felt he could just crawl into a hole and die. He could just feel the practical joker hiding behind a bush and laughing his ass off at him. Jun’s ego was wounded, and badly.
He...he couldn’t believe he fell for it and he couldn’t believe he was hurt.
The park was pitch black. The last giggling laughing couples had left just shortly after he had arrived two hours ago and he waited here alone and in the dark for someone who might as well have ambushed him, drugged him and raped him; or worse drew doodles on his face and post them on youtube to tarnish his impeccably cool and shiny image.
Jun jolted at the rustle of leaves and he turned around in haste only to find...
“Toma?” It was just Toma, his nose prominent in the dim light permeating into the park from the street. It’s okay, his ego was never a problem around Toma. Toma had always accepted him in his highs and lows. Known him when he just started out, when he was nobody. Even now that he was feeling so vulnerable he trusted him.
“Jun?” He could see the confusion he imagined was on his face reflected on Toma’s as well.
“What are you doing here?”
“Nothing.” Toma ducked his head, “I just walk around when I feel kind of stressed, you?”
Why...why is he here? Toma wondered.
“Yeah just walking around, thinking about stuff.”
“ He knows the extent to which he can expect commitment from me.” Yamashita quoting Jun’s words wouldn’t leave his head.
I don’t mean anything to him
“Hey!” Jun almost shouted while waving his arms, the bright purple material almost cutting through the dark, “You there? You’re spacing out”
“Of course. I’m alright and right here.” Toma grinned.
“ I mean I’m not dying to meet someone who’s so cowardly that he had to send me anonymous poems” Those words...they were stuck in his head draining out all courage.
My love means nothing to him.
Jun approached him his face suddenly much clearer under the yellow glow of a street lamp. He looked beautiful; it was a special effect that spot lights dreamed of.
Out of the blue, Jun enveloped him in a hug and sighed, “I don’t...I don’t feel very well.”
I’m sorry. I can’t say it. I’m sorry I can’t tell you it was me.
Jun suddenly cupped his cheeks and caressed them softly, “I know...I know we’re not supposed to get together tonight but just once...a favour really.”
I love you so much
“Can I come over?”
That I don’t want to lose you
“Al-Always”
That I’ll take anything you give me no matter how much I hate it
Toma ducked his head and blushed, the light pink on his cheeks seeming even softer under the dim yellow light and Jun chuckled at the cute way he whispered.
Jun felt laughter bubbling inside when he took Toma’s hand and the latter blushed even brighter. Toma always blushed, he was always so embarrassed. No matter how many times they’d do this Toma would always suffuse bright red and become flustered as he’d unbutton his shirt.
And just like always Toma’s touch would be soft and caring, loving and accepting. He squeezed Toma’s hand tighter caught the edges of a smile appearing and couldn’t help but muster one of his own.
That’s right...with Toma he’s always found acceptance no matter how embarrassed or how reluctant he seemed at first.
Always?
Jun looked at Toma again and they had walked out of the light by this time and nothing was really visible in the darkness that engulfed them. But in the way that Toma’s shuffling was so real, present, warm and comforting beside him that it felt like he was seeing him for the first time.
Jun smiled wider.
Maybe.