It's later than you think...
I just found out that Martin is gone. MIA. I stopped checking because he never updated anymore, and now I don't think he's coming back. So I went into the archives and dug up my favorite article of his for all of you to read. So, this entry is dedicated to Martin, wherever he may be. Hopefully he's happier and maybe not so drunk, though I doubt it. Oh well. fuck it. Here goes:
Posted by Martin Felcher of Fugly.com on Thursday December 12th 2002
The Iraqis have BX nerve gas! North Korea has a slew of nuclear missiles!! Why did Bush sign off on a plan to inoculate the entire country against smallpox?! Another one of these asshole Senators got up the other day to tell us that we can expect another terrorist attack, equal to or greater than September 11th ANY DAY NOW!!
Do yourself a giant favor and forget about September eleventh.
Seriously. What's happened since then? Hell, for that matter, what's happened that's made life any different in the last 10 years? 20 years? Anything? Is your life more or less different because of what's happened on September 11th, 2001?
Are Palestinians still blowing themselves up in Israeli cafes? Haven't they been doing that for the past 40 years? Are the Democrats still bad-mouthing the Republicans and vice versa? Haven't they been doing that for what, the past 200? Is some celebrity on trial for some thing or is someone involved in some horrible scandal? Of course they are. Are priests still fucking little kids? Absolutely. Are people still cheating on their spouses and are parents still abusing their children? You better believe it. Do you still wake up every morning and go to work? Do you do the same things? Do you have the same friends? Do you still live in the same place, go to the same restaurants, shop at the same stores…?
What's changed?
All the same problems are here that used to be but the only thing that's different is that you worry more. You're still going about your life because you have no choice. You have to. You're more vigilant, of course, because that's exactly what you've been instructed to do. Go about your lives, but be vigilant.
That's a load of shit.
Unless you were in one of three buildings, or on one of 4 airplanes in the last 15 months, nothing at all would have happened to you whether were vigilant or not.
The only thing that's for certain is that you're now 15 months older and probably, because you've been so worried and vigilant for those past 15 months, you're a lot more than 15 months closer to death than you would have been had you not been so careful. Nothing at all is certain except for one thing.
One day, you are going to die.
Nobody gets out alive. We all end up the same way and, whatever your beliefs may be, whether or not you think we all go to some beautiful place, whether or not you think we come back as someone or something else, whether or not you believe in anything at all, the fact is that one day, you, and everyone you know and love, will be dead.
Maybe you'll be the first to go. Maybe you'll be the last. Maybe you'll all go together but one day, you'll all go.
One day your body will be rotting in a box underground, burned to ash, or scattered throughout the wreckage of some horrible automobile accident and guess what else? This is the worst part. No matter how you've lived your life or how you've treated other people; no matter who you are or what sort of contribution you've made to society, eventually, you'll be forgotten.
I've had friends and relatives that have died and I know. It's terrible. It's one of the saddest things I can think of but, eventually, you get over it. Eventually you forget. You say you won't but you do. No matter what, one day you'll be gone and one day, not even the thought of you will enter anyone's mind. Eventually it won't enter anyone's mind for days and weeks and eventually those weeks will become more and more frequent until they string together and until eventually, you'll be nothing.
Not even a memory.
If you're lucky, maybe a couple of days before you die, you'll feel it coming on. Maybe you'll be in a convalescence home or have some terrible disease and some doctor somewhere will have given you a time to expect it.
Maybe you'll be blindsided by a drunk driver tomorrow morning and today is all you have left. Maybe all the time you'll have to reflect on your life will be in the fraction of a second before you're crushed to death or in the minutes you spend screaming as the plane you took that morning plunges into the sea.
If you're lucky, you'll get some time to think back on what you did and what you didn't do. What you regret doing and what you regret not doing.
I've become sort of an expert over the last three years on regret and I've learned one thing about it. The funny thing about regret is, it's better to regret something you have done than to regret something you haven't done. There is nothing worse than the aching feeling of regretting some missed opportunity. Be it a trip you never took. A person you never met. Some thing you never said to someone who's now gone. Whatever.
People don't like to think about stuff like this but I've been thinking that maybe they should.
People, for the most part, muddle through their lives, not doing or saying the things they really want because of who they might offend, or what others might think of them.
Who fucking cares?
The vast majority of people NEED to be offended and believe it or not, if you tell them what you're thinking, even if you think they won't like it, they'll at least respect your candor. Or maybe not.
How many people wake up every morning, look at themselves in the mirror, tell themselves that today is the day they're going to make a change? That today is the day they'll start this or that, or quit this or that and then proceed to settle for what they've got because that's all they know and because they're too scared to take a chance with something else. God forbid they might fail or, worse yet, offend someone or hurt someone else's feelings.
Maybe if they thought about themselves being bludgeoned to death at an ATM later that afternoon, breakfast conversation with that overbearing wife, or condescending husband of theirs would be a little bit different.
Maybe if they considered that, one day in the future, and that it might be a lot sooner than later, they were going to be nothing more than a rotting piece of meat, lying in a satin lined box, they might somehow manage to go in to work and ask for that promotion they know they deserve. And maybe, if they didn't get it they would have the balls to quit that dead end job and do something else instead of continuing to be taken advantage of, exploited and generally having their souls sucked out of them day after day after day after day.
How many times have the words, "I love you" been on the tip of your tongue and how many times have you choked them back? How about, "I don't love you any more"? How about, "fuck this, I quit!"? What about, "I'm sorry."?
Most people's lives can be summed up in a pretty short paragraph. There are these things that happen to all of us that mark radical turning points in our lives.
I was born in such and such city. When I was however old, we moved to such and such other city. My dog died. I got married to so and so. We had our first child at this or that. We had our second child. I got divorced from so and so. I found out I had cancer when I was this or that age. My Father died. My Mother died…
A lot of times these things come down to one decision that, when you make it, you never really know how important it's going to be until years later when you can use it in that little paragraph.
So and so asked you to the prom and you said, "yes", so you ended up marrying so and so. Who would have ever thought it would come to that?
You gave in to some slut's advances at the office Christmas party. Your wife found out and you got divorced. Who would have ever thought it would come to that?
You woke up late and decided that you wouldn't be able to make it to the bank that morning or, the day before, you only took out ten dollars when you knew you'd need more. You ended up at some ATM in the middle of the city and got robbed and shot.
Little things turn into big things.
I think that people need to ask themselves this question more often than they might like: What's standing between you and the life you have and the life you want?
Is it your job? If so, quit it.
Is it the person to whom your married? If so, tell them. If you can't make it better, leave.
Is it something you've done that's hanging over your head? If so, come clean.
Is it something you've never done? Is it a trip you never took? Is it something that, if you don't do it, you won't be able to get on with the rest of your life untl you do? Well what are you waiting for? Go do it.
It's a lot later than you think.
Posted by Martin Felcher of Fugly.com on Thursday December 12th 2002
The Iraqis have BX nerve gas! North Korea has a slew of nuclear missiles!! Why did Bush sign off on a plan to inoculate the entire country against smallpox?! Another one of these asshole Senators got up the other day to tell us that we can expect another terrorist attack, equal to or greater than September 11th ANY DAY NOW!!
Do yourself a giant favor and forget about September eleventh.
Seriously. What's happened since then? Hell, for that matter, what's happened that's made life any different in the last 10 years? 20 years? Anything? Is your life more or less different because of what's happened on September 11th, 2001?
Are Palestinians still blowing themselves up in Israeli cafes? Haven't they been doing that for the past 40 years? Are the Democrats still bad-mouthing the Republicans and vice versa? Haven't they been doing that for what, the past 200? Is some celebrity on trial for some thing or is someone involved in some horrible scandal? Of course they are. Are priests still fucking little kids? Absolutely. Are people still cheating on their spouses and are parents still abusing their children? You better believe it. Do you still wake up every morning and go to work? Do you do the same things? Do you have the same friends? Do you still live in the same place, go to the same restaurants, shop at the same stores…?
What's changed?
All the same problems are here that used to be but the only thing that's different is that you worry more. You're still going about your life because you have no choice. You have to. You're more vigilant, of course, because that's exactly what you've been instructed to do. Go about your lives, but be vigilant.
That's a load of shit.
Unless you were in one of three buildings, or on one of 4 airplanes in the last 15 months, nothing at all would have happened to you whether were vigilant or not.
The only thing that's for certain is that you're now 15 months older and probably, because you've been so worried and vigilant for those past 15 months, you're a lot more than 15 months closer to death than you would have been had you not been so careful. Nothing at all is certain except for one thing.
One day, you are going to die.
Nobody gets out alive. We all end up the same way and, whatever your beliefs may be, whether or not you think we all go to some beautiful place, whether or not you think we come back as someone or something else, whether or not you believe in anything at all, the fact is that one day, you, and everyone you know and love, will be dead.
Maybe you'll be the first to go. Maybe you'll be the last. Maybe you'll all go together but one day, you'll all go.
One day your body will be rotting in a box underground, burned to ash, or scattered throughout the wreckage of some horrible automobile accident and guess what else? This is the worst part. No matter how you've lived your life or how you've treated other people; no matter who you are or what sort of contribution you've made to society, eventually, you'll be forgotten.
I've had friends and relatives that have died and I know. It's terrible. It's one of the saddest things I can think of but, eventually, you get over it. Eventually you forget. You say you won't but you do. No matter what, one day you'll be gone and one day, not even the thought of you will enter anyone's mind. Eventually it won't enter anyone's mind for days and weeks and eventually those weeks will become more and more frequent until they string together and until eventually, you'll be nothing.
Not even a memory.
If you're lucky, maybe a couple of days before you die, you'll feel it coming on. Maybe you'll be in a convalescence home or have some terrible disease and some doctor somewhere will have given you a time to expect it.
Maybe you'll be blindsided by a drunk driver tomorrow morning and today is all you have left. Maybe all the time you'll have to reflect on your life will be in the fraction of a second before you're crushed to death or in the minutes you spend screaming as the plane you took that morning plunges into the sea.
If you're lucky, you'll get some time to think back on what you did and what you didn't do. What you regret doing and what you regret not doing.
I've become sort of an expert over the last three years on regret and I've learned one thing about it. The funny thing about regret is, it's better to regret something you have done than to regret something you haven't done. There is nothing worse than the aching feeling of regretting some missed opportunity. Be it a trip you never took. A person you never met. Some thing you never said to someone who's now gone. Whatever.
People don't like to think about stuff like this but I've been thinking that maybe they should.
People, for the most part, muddle through their lives, not doing or saying the things they really want because of who they might offend, or what others might think of them.
Who fucking cares?
The vast majority of people NEED to be offended and believe it or not, if you tell them what you're thinking, even if you think they won't like it, they'll at least respect your candor. Or maybe not.
How many people wake up every morning, look at themselves in the mirror, tell themselves that today is the day they're going to make a change? That today is the day they'll start this or that, or quit this or that and then proceed to settle for what they've got because that's all they know and because they're too scared to take a chance with something else. God forbid they might fail or, worse yet, offend someone or hurt someone else's feelings.
Maybe if they thought about themselves being bludgeoned to death at an ATM later that afternoon, breakfast conversation with that overbearing wife, or condescending husband of theirs would be a little bit different.
Maybe if they considered that, one day in the future, and that it might be a lot sooner than later, they were going to be nothing more than a rotting piece of meat, lying in a satin lined box, they might somehow manage to go in to work and ask for that promotion they know they deserve. And maybe, if they didn't get it they would have the balls to quit that dead end job and do something else instead of continuing to be taken advantage of, exploited and generally having their souls sucked out of them day after day after day after day.
How many times have the words, "I love you" been on the tip of your tongue and how many times have you choked them back? How about, "I don't love you any more"? How about, "fuck this, I quit!"? What about, "I'm sorry."?
Most people's lives can be summed up in a pretty short paragraph. There are these things that happen to all of us that mark radical turning points in our lives.
I was born in such and such city. When I was however old, we moved to such and such other city. My dog died. I got married to so and so. We had our first child at this or that. We had our second child. I got divorced from so and so. I found out I had cancer when I was this or that age. My Father died. My Mother died…
A lot of times these things come down to one decision that, when you make it, you never really know how important it's going to be until years later when you can use it in that little paragraph.
So and so asked you to the prom and you said, "yes", so you ended up marrying so and so. Who would have ever thought it would come to that?
You gave in to some slut's advances at the office Christmas party. Your wife found out and you got divorced. Who would have ever thought it would come to that?
You woke up late and decided that you wouldn't be able to make it to the bank that morning or, the day before, you only took out ten dollars when you knew you'd need more. You ended up at some ATM in the middle of the city and got robbed and shot.
Little things turn into big things.
I think that people need to ask themselves this question more often than they might like: What's standing between you and the life you have and the life you want?
Is it your job? If so, quit it.
Is it the person to whom your married? If so, tell them. If you can't make it better, leave.
Is it something you've done that's hanging over your head? If so, come clean.
Is it something you've never done? Is it a trip you never took? Is it something that, if you don't do it, you won't be able to get on with the rest of your life untl you do? Well what are you waiting for? Go do it.
It's a lot later than you think.