on the sandy bar
i find myself falling away again. i'm standing on this cliff ready to jump in and be consumed by the greatest waves of emotion ever. i actually want to this time. no fear, no worries. it doesn't really matter with who. perhaps eric, perhaps dan, perhaps dan AND marissa all at the same time. wow. . .what a trip THAT would be. i think it would be nice for a while though. i don't really want to have sex with either of them, just be loved and return it. so as the last fires of lust and hate and violence smolder out of me, i find that i'm not fanning them, or even stomping them out... i'm just watching, waiting for the next transition, knowing that the fire will return and consume me to ash only to be remade again.