i'll love u for all my life
After school today i got Holly some flowers and went to visit her at the cemetery. Tomorrow's the one year anniversary of her death. It's really weird it hasn't seemed like that long, sometimes it doesn't even seem like she's gone. This may seem a lil weird but that's how it is. Like when i first found out she died it didn't really hit me. I guess she was just away in the hospital for so long that i just kind of thought of her still being there. She had such a positive attitude about it all, she convinced herself and us as well that she was gonna over come it. The last time i saw her, which was like 2 months before she died. I told her all about school and she was just like ohh yeah i have to hurry back and catch up with everyone. I miss her so incredibly much. Even when she was sick and she had her own stuff to deal with took into consideration how i was feeling. She told me that if i ever needed to talk she'd be there. Looking back on that time i feel really selfish. She was fighting so hard for her life and i just wanted to give up. I just to pray so hard everything that God would just give her sickness to me, for she didn't deserve any of the pain or the tears. At her funeral, i saw her mom and we just sort of went to one another, she gave me a hug, and as tears started to fall down my face she whispered to me "i know, sweetie, i know" and i felt so selfish, she had just lost a child, i'm suppose to be comforting her. Life's not fair, i don't understand and i don't think i want to understand. I just wish i could get her back.
"thought i saw you today,you were standing in the sun
and you turned away, and i knew it couldn't be, but my heart believed. It seems like there's something everyday, how could you be so far away, when you're still here. When i need you, you're not hard to find, you're still here. Had a dream last night, that you came to me on silver wings and light,i flew away with you, in the painless sky. And i woke up wondering what was real, is it what you see and touch or what you feel? Cause you're still here, oh you're everywhere we've ever been, you're still here. I heard you in a stranger's laugh and i hung around to hear her laugh again, just once again. Thought i saw you today,you were standing in the sun
and you turned away.."
I miss always miss and love you, you'll always be my Chicky Bugg, and i'll always be your Mebecca..xOxOx
"thought i saw you today,you were standing in the sun
and you turned away, and i knew it couldn't be, but my heart believed. It seems like there's something everyday, how could you be so far away, when you're still here. When i need you, you're not hard to find, you're still here. Had a dream last night, that you came to me on silver wings and light,i flew away with you, in the painless sky. And i woke up wondering what was real, is it what you see and touch or what you feel? Cause you're still here, oh you're everywhere we've ever been, you're still here. I heard you in a stranger's laugh and i hung around to hear her laugh again, just once again. Thought i saw you today,you were standing in the sun
and you turned away.."
I miss always miss and love you, you'll always be my Chicky Bugg, and i'll always be your Mebecca..xOxOx