"where are you mailing that ugly bunny?" "it's not a bunny, it's a bear in a bunny costume."
Here is mostly what I've been doing since we last talked a couple months ago:
Last Wednesday morning, I was having an epic flounce fit about something too embarrassing to be reproduced in this space. When I finally flounced out the door to go to work, I tripped over a wet umbrella and fell down the stairs leading from our second floor apartment to our first floor entryway, smacking the SHIT out of my tailbone. [*] This hurts like a motherfucker and I have been hobbling around with an awkward old man gait. Which meant that on Saturday, when J & I were shoveling the two cubic feet of compost we had delivered to our house, I was ripe to fall down the cement stairs at the foot of our porch, accumulating assorted bumps, bruises and a six square inch gash on my shin that J and I have decided to name "Nester." [**] And despite these twin whine-inducing agonies, I actually called out sick on Monday because of a death in the family. [***]
[*] I'm assuming it's just a bruised tailbone. I didn't go to the doctor, utilizing the (possibly slightly faulty) rationale that J fell down the SAME SET OF STAIRS at Christmas and she was totally fine. Right? Right.
[**] The worst part about Nester is that his appearance coincided with the sudden onset of spring and made it really difficult to shave my legs. Which is much more problematic than it sounds, because I don't shave my legs in the winter unless I'm trying to make a girl like me. [****]
[***] I know it seems like I kind of buried the lede here, or possibly that I'm an asshole, but I swear, it's fine. It's more of a logistical nightmare than anything else.
[****] So I shaved my legs once this past winter and it worked as well as it always does, which is to say: NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT. The story of the last five years of my romantic history: Girls, not worth the leg stubble.
So nobody's missed much in my absence, is what I'm saying. Here, have three slightly topical but possibly somewhat dated opinions:
I am really enjoying The Good Wife. But not because of Josh Charles. I mean, I'm not not enjoying Josh Charles, but he is not actively driving my enjoyment of the show. I can't watch things with Josh Charles and just enjoy that Josh Charles is on my TV, because the whole time I'm like, "DANNY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING. GO BACK TO CSC. CASEY MISSES YOU, HE NEEDS YOU."
But seriously, The Good Wife is a really interesting show. The first season has been very ballsy with its pacing, holding certain emotional revelations and plot twists back for a lot longer than I would have expected on a show in its first season that didn't know it was going to get picked up. It has a slow, organic emotional reveal of the family drama that you usually only see on pay-cable shows anymore.
The show skirts a weird line when it comes to The Bechdel Test. The premise is basically the anti-Bechdel, because everything that happens to Alicia, everything anyone wants from Alicia, everything Alicia is able to achieve professionally, it's all inherently about Peter. It's not just that every conversation Alicia has is about Peter, every piece of jewelry she wears is about Peter. But I also think that we're supposed to question that. Additionally, the two other main female ensemble characters (a senior partner and a woman of color (!) in-house investigator) have conversations about pay equity and racism and gun control and other things that have nothing to do with boys.
Like most other first-world humans with eyeballs, I saw Lady Gaga's "Telephone" music video. I think it is ironic (and not this kind of "ironic") that so many people are complaining about the blatant nature of the video's product placement when 99% of them are probably watching the video for free on YouTube. Music videos used to exist as commercials-in-disguise to sell albums, that's why record companies paid to make them. Now that the way that music is bought (and not bought) has completely changed and MTV would rather show a 24 hour Jersey Shore marathon than a music video, do you think a record company is willing to shell out $10 million dollars to make a music video anymore? Yeah, probably not. You couldn't make that video today without sponsorship. So if you take advantage of the current climate of music distribution (eg -- you watch videos on YouTube), you have to be willing to accept the full package.
I am very concerned about a pressing mystery on Lost that will not be answered by the series finale. WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THE NUMBERS THE REASON WHY WOMEN CAN'T HAVE BABIES WRONG WITH KATE'S PANTS? Prior to leaving the island, the set designers did a good job of making sure everyone wore the same few pieces of grubby clothing. Kate had one pair of jeans, and the longer the show was on the air, the more they went from looking "bootleg cut" to "comically wide flared bell bottom like something out of a musical theater performance of "Hair." I assumed this was just perception, fashion zeigist shifting toward skinnier and skinnier jeans between 2004 and now. But then Kate left the island, presumably was able to re-stock her wardrobe, and now she is back this season with that exact same ridiculously wide flare-legged pair of jeans. WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?
Last Wednesday morning, I was having an epic flounce fit about something too embarrassing to be reproduced in this space. When I finally flounced out the door to go to work, I tripped over a wet umbrella and fell down the stairs leading from our second floor apartment to our first floor entryway, smacking the SHIT out of my tailbone. [*] This hurts like a motherfucker and I have been hobbling around with an awkward old man gait. Which meant that on Saturday, when J & I were shoveling the two cubic feet of compost we had delivered to our house, I was ripe to fall down the cement stairs at the foot of our porch, accumulating assorted bumps, bruises and a six square inch gash on my shin that J and I have decided to name "Nester." [**] And despite these twin whine-inducing agonies, I actually called out sick on Monday because of a death in the family. [***]
[*] I'm assuming it's just a bruised tailbone. I didn't go to the doctor, utilizing the (possibly slightly faulty) rationale that J fell down the SAME SET OF STAIRS at Christmas and she was totally fine. Right? Right.
[**] The worst part about Nester is that his appearance coincided with the sudden onset of spring and made it really difficult to shave my legs. Which is much more problematic than it sounds, because I don't shave my legs in the winter unless I'm trying to make a girl like me. [****]
[***] I know it seems like I kind of buried the lede here, or possibly that I'm an asshole, but I swear, it's fine. It's more of a logistical nightmare than anything else.
[****] So I shaved my legs once this past winter and it worked as well as it always does, which is to say: NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT. The story of the last five years of my romantic history: Girls, not worth the leg stubble.
So nobody's missed much in my absence, is what I'm saying. Here, have three slightly topical but possibly somewhat dated opinions:
I am really enjoying The Good Wife. But not because of Josh Charles. I mean, I'm not not enjoying Josh Charles, but he is not actively driving my enjoyment of the show. I can't watch things with Josh Charles and just enjoy that Josh Charles is on my TV, because the whole time I'm like, "DANNY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING. GO BACK TO CSC. CASEY MISSES YOU, HE NEEDS YOU."
But seriously, The Good Wife is a really interesting show. The first season has been very ballsy with its pacing, holding certain emotional revelations and plot twists back for a lot longer than I would have expected on a show in its first season that didn't know it was going to get picked up. It has a slow, organic emotional reveal of the family drama that you usually only see on pay-cable shows anymore.
The show skirts a weird line when it comes to The Bechdel Test. The premise is basically the anti-Bechdel, because everything that happens to Alicia, everything anyone wants from Alicia, everything Alicia is able to achieve professionally, it's all inherently about Peter. It's not just that every conversation Alicia has is about Peter, every piece of jewelry she wears is about Peter. But I also think that we're supposed to question that. Additionally, the two other main female ensemble characters (a senior partner and a woman of color (!) in-house investigator) have conversations about pay equity and racism and gun control and other things that have nothing to do with boys.
Like most other first-world humans with eyeballs, I saw Lady Gaga's "Telephone" music video. I think it is ironic (and not this kind of "ironic") that so many people are complaining about the blatant nature of the video's product placement when 99% of them are probably watching the video for free on YouTube. Music videos used to exist as commercials-in-disguise to sell albums, that's why record companies paid to make them. Now that the way that music is bought (and not bought) has completely changed and MTV would rather show a 24 hour Jersey Shore marathon than a music video, do you think a record company is willing to shell out $10 million dollars to make a music video anymore? Yeah, probably not. You couldn't make that video today without sponsorship. So if you take advantage of the current climate of music distribution (eg -- you watch videos on YouTube), you have to be willing to accept the full package.
I am very concerned about a pressing mystery on Lost that will not be answered by the series finale. WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THE NUMBERS THE REASON WHY WOMEN CAN'T HAVE BABIES WRONG WITH KATE'S PANTS? Prior to leaving the island, the set designers did a good job of making sure everyone wore the same few pieces of grubby clothing. Kate had one pair of jeans, and the longer the show was on the air, the more they went from looking "bootleg cut" to "comically wide flared bell bottom like something out of a musical theater performance of "Hair." I assumed this was just perception, fashion zeigist shifting toward skinnier and skinnier jeans between 2004 and now. But then Kate left the island, presumably was able to re-stock her wardrobe, and now she is back this season with that exact same ridiculously wide flare-legged pair of jeans. WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?