FIC: Today (1/1); The Mentalist
Title: Today
Author: sirenofodysseus
Rating: T
Characters: Red John, Teresa Lisbon. RJ/TL
Summary: Eventually, it will serve to remind you why you both can't do this.
Spoilers: If you know who Red John is, you'll be fine.
Notes: for the Paint It Red Ficathon. Prompt:
Romance: Lisbon/Red John.
The lamb lays down beside
the lion while he's sleeping
(Dangerland, Kerry Ellis)
++
After a long day of work, she always collapses into your bed; her eyes remain closed, her breathing shallow, her shoes hit the floor with a soft thump and you wrap your arm around her. Neither of you speak, for the amount of energy it takes is endless and her eyes (when open) tell you all you need to know.
Most days, she is calm and both of you drift into an easy slumber.
Other days, she is worked up and one of you never sleeps.
But it’s when she closes her eyes that worries you the most; it more than likely means Patrick Jane has caused another problem for her to clean up or has caused her another issue with her boss. You never ask while in bed though, because there are limits and neither of you are dumb enough to cross the invisible line that keeps you both together.
If you strain your hearing sometimes, in the dead silence of the room you both share, you can hear her heart beating on within the turmoil of your lives, and it reminds you why you both keep playing the game and why you let a cop, of all people, into your life.
It’s because you love her and you can’t imagine your life without her lying next to you.
He waits for you in your bed; his eyes opened, his breathing shallow as you collapse onto the bed and his arm wraps around you, as if it will protect you from your demons. Neither of you say a word for you know what he has been doing and what he will continue to do when you’re gone.
Most days, he is not a bloodthirsty monster and both of you can sleep easy.
Other days, he is the man you’re supposed to be chasing and it becomes harder to sleep.
You feel a certain amount of regret every time you fall asleep with him; it weighs you down and it constantly makes you question whether you’re a good person or not, because you continuously lie to Jane, your team, the FBI, and the CBI about him. You never tell him that though, because there are limits and you aren’t selfless enough to cross the visible line that keeps you both together and alive.
If you twist your memory enough sometimes, in the dead silence of the prison you both share, you can pretend he’s someone else. Eventually, it will serve to remind you why you both can’t do this, and why you both are playing with fire, just waiting to be burned by the reality you both will ultimately have to face.
Tomorrow, you continue to tell yourself when he holds you.
Today, you continue to tell yourself when he lets you go.
But today never comes, for you love him and he loves you.