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I think the word which best describes the "opposite" of depression is "fulfillment". For myself, at least, depression is the inability to be fulfilled by those things by which I would otherwise be satisfied. This explains (in principle) the concurrence of depression and loss of/severe increase in appetite and sexual drive...Biologically speaking,
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I find it extremely difficult to organize my thoughts without revision. I don't think I'm really getting to the point of what you said.
"It is something I should be able to beat. Not something that controls me."
The subsequent frailty of your metaphor seems evident of either a. frail metaphor, b. failing resolve, or c. an incredible amount of denial and self-delusion... (I mean this of course with the utmost respect.):
If you believe that using meds is like using crutches to walk, then you are suggesting that you believe you can walk without crutches.
But you have a broken leg! You couldn't possibly walk without crutches...
Well, I suppose you could, if you tried. It would just be painful and difficult. But you could sit! Would a wheelchair be better? Would laying in bed all day, unable to get up bet better?
As you see, we are beginning to approach the border of another, far more familiar metaphor.
I realize I may come across as a bit harsh, but my word in writing tends to be more gritty than it needs to be. I hope to see you soon, so as to (if you would allow it) discuss this further.
On a last note, I will admit that your comments have begun to make me consider the act of considering ceasing to take my medication...I did this at the beginning of last year to no great end...but possibility never ceases to tempt me...the sort of freedom that you don't so much describe as hint at is incredibly tempting. But I digress, or at the very least, undermine everything I've said in the above 500 words. More anon.
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